dog: free to good home

[cheezyridr]

so, last weekend, i decided i wanted to get a dog. i started looking on craig's list to see what's available in my area.  i came across an ad, "talking dog, free to good home". like any reasonable person would, i assumed the talking dog part was a joke, and contacted the person who placed the ad to see if the dog was still available. it was, so i made arrangements to go see it. i get there, and upon meeting the guy, i made a comment about how i got a chuckle from the ad. he says to me "no, i'm for real, he's in the yard.  you can go back there and meet him."  whatever, i've heard huskies make noises that almost sound like words, so i just blew it off.  we walked around the side of the house and went through the gate.  the dog comes up waggin his tail, and i bent down to pet him.  i say hey boy, how you doin? as one might. well, i about crapped my pants when the dog looked me straight in the face and clearly said "i'm doin fine, how about yourself?" i said, holy moly! you really are a talking dog! this is amazing! what's your story?  so the dog sits down and says to me 

well, i figured out how to talk when i was still just a puppy. my first owner took me to the government. they put me in the whitehouse where i would sit in the room with foreign diplomats to secretly listen in on their conversations.  when the administration changed, they sent me to the tsa where i learned to sniff out bombs and drugs. i did that for years, eventually earning a distinguished service award. i got tired of the work, and decided to retire. i settled down with a nice female, raised a few pups, and long story short, ended up here.  it's not working out.  i couldn't believe this, so i looked at the owner and said i would take the dog, and offered him $1000. it was all the money i have.  he refused the money and said to just take the dog. i said to him, his story is amazing! why would anyone want to give away a talking dog, especially one with such an incredible history of service to our country as a patriot?  the owner looked at me and said 

"that's the entire problem. he never did any of that stuff, he's a chronic liar"

[jimmyjoe]

   That joke is older than I am ........ and I babysat Methuselah!     jj

[slonezp]

Has 3 legs, 1 eye, 1/2 a tail and responds to the name Lucky