Dealing with inexperienced anglers

[ww2farmer]

If I were you, I'd cut all ties, and never speak to them again until it's time to put them in a nursing home. Trust me, it'll be for the best, they are obviously terrible people.

[the reel ess]

2 hours ago, scaleface said:

I  went bass fishing by myself . Its my time to unwind .  I took Dad out for catfish, crappie and white bass . When he could no longer do   that , we sat on the bank and caught whatever would bite .

I had that same Procraft boat but mine was red. I just sold it last summer. Just like this, but it had a Merc Black Max 135. I stupidly traded a '66 Mustang that needed some work for the boat. Then I practically gave the boat away.

[scaleface]

19 minutes ago, the reel ess said:

Then I practically gave the boat away.

I did give mine away . The Force Motor needed work and there was major damage to the wooden stringers .I took the trolling motor and depth finder off first .

[Coldbasser]

I'm sitting here LMAO???

 I've been on both sides of this 1 

have to think of all the time my parents had to have unconditional love for me changing sh***ty diapers potty training comforting me when I'll. My attitude of gratitude & zero expectations of them allowed me to enjoy them. My dad is gone now & id trade a lot to have another day with him. Don't let your attitude ruin your what is & what might have been.

cheers

rick

[the reel ess]

53 minutes ago, scaleface said:

I did give mine away . The Force Motor needed work and there was major damage to the wooden stringers .I took the trolling motor and depth finder off first .

I sold mine for $1000 with a blown head gasket. It was overheating. The guy who got it told me the gasket only costs $14 and his son is a mechanic. It has since become his lawn art. I don't think it has moved from the spot he parked it in. I'd love to have that Mustang though now that I have the resources to work on it some.

[Shimano_1]

Quit taking it all so seriously.  If you're thinking you're a stud bass fisherman go fish some tournaments and you'll soon be more humble lol. I've learned all that the hard way. If you're not into tournament fishing or pursuing competitive fishing then there's no reason to be so serious.  Understand it for what it is and what's been laid out for you here. My mom and I haven't had a relationship in many years so if I could have a good relationship with her while I caught a few fish I'd be content with having to teach her along the way. It's all perspective and obviously you're not gonna see things the way a 60 year old is and that doesnt make you spoiled or anything negative that's just life. We all take things for granted til they're gone, well most of us anyway.  If it were me I'd just chill and try my best to make it all positive while I explained things to them and hopefully at some point you all meet in the middle and have a good time.

[Brew City Bass]

14 hours ago, Quarry Man said:

Thats a great idea, Ill pick up some dollar spinnerbaits at Walmart once quarantine ends.

 

I am very lucky to have two caring parents. I definitely take my life for granted.

I normally wouldn't but we are all at my lake house together and they were off from school all week with nothing better to do. 

I will tell them I need some alone time if this continues.

it sure does. I wish my moms dad was still around now that I love fishing. He went all the time. My mom would go with him as a youngster and this is why she goes with me.

 

that would be an understatement. I am not the easiest person in the world thats for sure.

 

thats the reason my mom loves to go so much, she could care less about the fish.

 

Im gonna bring the Daiwa samurais bake out next time with the spinnerbaits from Walmart like I said. Seems foolproof

 

overpriced brand name clothes that "cool kids" waste their money on.

19

I don't follow this part. my parents aren't abusive and nobody wants to fight me.

whole thing started because I told mom no more fishing bc it was a babysitting session. For months she tried to guilt me into fishing with her by making me feel terrible and spoiled (rightfully so). I am totally fine "guiding" every so often, but a stressful as it is I can't take 6 hours a day of berating.

 

I will likely confront them soon enough. If they don't agree too bad. As supportive as they are, they are stubborn and controlling at times and I am slowly losing my tolerance for it.

 

Maybe try and find a different hobby or activity to do with them outside of fishing too. 

Go out for dinner and a movie once a week. Go see a play, go to concerts. Hell even a couple hour hike. Just something where you don't feel like you're babysitting. 

11 minutes ago, Shimano_1 said:

Quit taking it all so seriously.  If you're thinking you're a stud bass fisherman go fish some tournaments and you'll soon be more humble lol. I've learned all that the hard way. If you're not into tournament fishing or pursuing competitive fishing then there's no reason to be so serious.  Understand it for what it is and what's been laid out for you here. My mom and I haven't had a relationship in many years so if I could have a good relationship with her while I caught a few fish I'd be content with having to teach her along the way. It's all perspective and obviously you're not gonna see things the way a 60 year old is and that doesnt make you spoiled or anything negative that's just life. We all take things for granted til they're gone, well most of us anyway.  If it were me I'd just chill and try my best to make it all positive while I explained things to them and hopefully at some point you all meet in the middle and have a good time.

You can be a serious fisherman without having to prove yourself by winning money... 

It doesn't have to be either "broooo super chill and relax, who cares".... Or "Only serious fisherman fish tournaments and that's the only way you can be serious". Plenty of people take their hobbies seriously without being a professional. All my buddies who own $40,000 hand built race cars but don't race competitively or professionally are just one of those types of people. They have fun with it, but they're gonna be ticked if they haul their car to the track just to have to show their parents how to clutch out, shift into 2nd, and not overheat the motor while never getting a run in themselves. It's easy to say just relax and have fun, but sometimes it's only fun if you're catching fish and doing it your way. 

I side with OP on this one. We spend our hard earned dollars, probably most of them on fishing gear, a boat, a truck to haul it, and gas and resources to get to the fish. There's a finite amount of times I can go fishing every year, and it really bums me out when a day fishing gets washed by something or another. I love my parents and take them out a couple times a year. I have to mentally prepare for it though, and I have to plan on re-baiting hooks, cutting tangles, getting lures un-stuck, dealing with "Why aren't we catching fish". We aren't obligated to make every week a family operation, and we aren't obligated to like it. Some things are just flat out difficult with parents, especially when you're younger. This is why I try to hangout with my parents during their time, doing their hobbies. 

My dad slot car races. I don't particularly care for it, but I'll go to the track with him and put in a couple hours of laps, or support him at his races. This makes him happy, and it's 0 stress and all fun for me. My mom doesn't do much of anything hobby wise, so we just go get dinner and catch a movie or go looking for sea-glass once in a while. This makes her happy, and it's 0 stress and all fun for me.  

[crypt]

16 hours ago, NHBull said:

Sometimes it not about the fishing ?

this says it all..............

[Shimano_1]

Dont recall saying you cant be serious and not fish competitively.  If you cant comprehend what my meaning was I apologize.  Obviously he's not going to be able to be "serious" about it and spend time with the parents doing it. Apparently he wants to be able to enjoy it while fishing with them. The only way that's feasible is to "chill". As plenty of others are saying there will be a time I'm sure when he'll wish for the chance to do it again.  Obviously no one has enough time to do everything they want all the time so we make compromises.  If the goal is to spend time with mom and dad and enjoy fishing then a "serious" approach is likely the wrong one. Itll get easier I'm sure as age has a way of prioritizing things. Until then make the best of it

1 hour ago, Brew City Bass said:

Maybe try and find a different hobby or activity to do with them outside of fishing too. 

Go out for dinner and a movie once a week. Go see a play, go to concerts. Hell even a couple hour hike. Just something where you don't feel like you're babysitting. 

You can be a serious fisherman without having to prove yourself by winning money... 

It doesn't have to be either "broooo super chill and relax, who cares".... Or "Only serious fisherman fish tournaments and that's the only way you can be serious". Plenty of people take their hobbies seriously without being a professional. All my buddies who own $40,000 hand built race cars but don't race competitively or professionally are just one of those types of people. They have fun with it, but they're gonna be ticked if they haul their car to the track just to have to show their parents how to clutch out, shift into 2nd, and not overheat the motor while never getting a run in themselves. It's easy to say just relax and have fun, but sometimes it's only fun if you're catching fish and doing it your way. 

I side with OP on this one. We spend our hard earned dollars, probably most of them on fishing gear, a boat, a truck to haul it, and gas and resources to get to the fish. There's a finite amount of times I can go fishing every year, and it really bums me out when a day fishing gets washed by something or another. I love my parents and take them out a couple times a year. I have to mentally prepare for it though, and I have to plan on re-baiting hooks, cutting tangles, getting lures un-stuck, dealing with "Why aren't we catching fish". We aren't obligated to make every week a family operation, and we aren't obligated to like it. Some things are just flat out difficult with parents, especially when you're younger. This is why I try to hangout with my parents during their time, doing their hobbies. 

My dad slot car races. I don't particularly care for it, but I'll go to the track with him and put in a couple hours of laps, or support him at his races. This makes him happy, and it's 0 stress and all fun for me. My mom doesn't do much of anything hobby wise, so we just go get dinner and catch a movie or go looking for sea-glass once in a while. This makes her happy, and it's 0 stress and all fun for me.  

Don't think everyone that tournament fishes is doing it because they feel they need to prove themselves.  I like competing, adrenaline and surprise....money. I also like to bass fish. Just seems obvious to fish tournaments.  I dont recall ever launching the boat thinking man I gotta catch em or I'm less of a man. To each their own...if tournaments aren't your thing dont fish em

[VolFan]

I went through this with my father in law, who us an engineer. Either have them buy their own gear or give them some of your gear. Take them fishing. Not with you fishing. Take them fishing where you guide them and don't fish. Tell them that you like taking them fishing but that you really enjoy the focus of fishing alone, but that you'll still take them. Once they develop to a competence level that doesnt offend you, take them with you fishing. Otherwise its just frusrtating and sometimes dangerous for everyone. Same works for kids.

 

Also - Take a breath. Relax. Its supposed to be fun. Have fun.

It gets easier when youre older.

[Bankbeater]

When my kids were old enough and wanted to go fishing I realized right away that these were not going to be regular trips.  These trips were going to be outings where we could make memories and just enjoy ourselves.

[flyfisher]

Maybe you said this somewhere else but i saw you are 19 so do you still live at home?  You said "my" boat in your post as well so I am assuming that is yours and not the family boat too.  

I'll just cut to the chase on this one.  You sound like a crybaby to me.  You'll come to a public forum and complain that your parents want to spend time with you fishing but you don't want them to because it is your release.  That is fine but if you can come here and say something why not be a man and talk to them about it or better yet learn to appreciate it because I will guarantee that one day you will long for the days that you can go fishing with your parents.




 

[813basstard]

Simple.

 

Beer.

[Brew City Bass]

OP some of these guys are old-heads who think everyone younger than them is ungrateful and a crybaby. Don't let them get you. It's always gonna be your fault going up against some of those types of people. It's okay to have your own opinions and discuss them however and wherever you feel. Doesn't make you a crybaby. 

2 hours ago, Shimano_1 said:

Dont recall saying you cant be serious and not fish competitively.  If you cant comprehend what my meaning was I apologize.  Obviously he's not going to be able to be "serious" about it and spend time with the parents doing it. Apparently he wants to be able to enjoy it while fishing with them. The only way that's feasible is to "chill". As plenty of others are saying there will be a time I'm sure when he'll wish for the chance to do it again.  Obviously no one has enough time to do everything they want all the time so we make compromises.  If the goal is to spend time with mom and dad and enjoy fishing then a "serious" approach is likely the wrong one. Itll get easier I'm sure as age has a way of prioritizing things. Until then make the best of it

Don't think everyone that tournament fishes is doing it because they feel they need to prove themselves.  I like competing, adrenaline and surprise....money. I also like to bass fish. Just seems obvious to fish tournaments.  I dont recall ever launching the boat thinking man I gotta catch em or I'm less of a man. To each their own...if tournaments aren't your thing dont fish em

I seem to recall it perfectly well, since you said this verbatim "If you're not into tournament fishing or pursuing competitive fishing then there's no reason to be so serious."

I must have comprehended that wrong though..

[Shimano_1]

21 minutes ago, Brew City Bass said:

OP some of these guys are old-heads who think everyone younger than them is ungrateful and a crybaby. Don't let them get you. It's always gonna be your fault going up against some of those types of people. It's okay to have your own opinions and discuss them however and wherever you feel. Doesn't make you a crybaby. 

I seem to recall it perfectly well, since you said this verbatim "If you're not into tournament fishing or pursuing competitive fishing then there's no reason to be so serious."

I must have comprehended that wrong though..

I'd say judging from your posts you got it all figured out. My bad. 

[DogBone_384]

20 hours ago, Hower08 said:

I'm not sure what a Gucci is but it sounds expensive

Gucci is ALMOST as expensive some baitcast combos our membership own!

[Bird]

At the expense of my entertainment......I say let's be easy here. 

This is perhaps the best fishing forum on the net, hilarious at times but we all have differing opinions and should respect those opinions that differ from ours.

 

Yes I'm still giggling. 

[slonezp]

Thankfully my mother had a stroke last week so I don't have to drag her along. My dad's arthritis is really annoying as well. He likes to fish with live bait and a bobber and it really cuts into my casting game. Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. Doesn't he realize fishing is all about me? The nerve of some people...

 

I'll tell you a story from a dad's point of view. I fished every other weekend, ice out to ice up, with my son until he was probably about 17. His mother and I split when he was 4 and it was the only time I would see him. There was about a 3 year period where his life got in the way of our weekends. His friends and college were more important than dear old dad. I understood but it doesn't mean it did not hurt my heart immensely when I would invite him to go fishing and he said he had other plans.

 

I'll tell you another story from a dad's point of view, my dad. My dad buried a son, my brother, from a stroke at the age of 35. Dad is 80 now and you better believe he still remembers everyday they spent together both good and bad.

 

You know how you deal with it? You just deal with it.

[Bird]

There's a perspective that deserves a set of ears.

[Bluegillslayer]

Ha Ha kind of reminds me of fishing with my grandma for some reason. except my grandma pretty much only fishes to catch fish to eat. Shes Hispanic and if you know anything about Hispanic fishermen (not to be racist) its that a lot of them keep the fish they catch no matter what species or size. I dont let her keep bass to eat, neither does my grandpa but she almost always keeps trout and panfish haha 

[Terrance Waters]

My dad use to embarrass me to no end.  I wish with all my heart he was still here to embarrass me.

[newriverfisherman1953]

This really doesn’t need to get ugly. Yes I’m old, but I don’t think young folks are jerks and crybabies. In fact, I do my own share of whining at times. I lost my dad when I was 7 years old. I don’t remember ever doing anything with him. My stepfather was an excellent teacher and fishing partner to me. I also lost a good friend and fishing partner to cancer way too early. I know this is a fishing forum and fishing is certainly important to all of us. But it is not THE most important thing. Now, let’s play nice. Sorry, don’t mean to preach. 

[Quarry Man]

5 hours ago, flyfisher said:

Maybe you said this somewhere else but i saw you are 19 so do you still live at home?  You said "my" boat in your post as well so I am assuming that is yours and not the family boat too.  

I'll just cut to the chase on this one.  You sound like a crybaby to me.  You'll come to a public forum and complain that your parents want to spend time with you fishing but you don't want them to because it is your release.  That is fine but if you can come here and say something why not be a man and talk to them about it or better yet learn to appreciate it because I will guarantee that one day you will long for the days that you can go fishing with your parents.

If my semester wasn't canceled, I would be at school. My school is canceled and I am now home. We have been spending time at our lake house. My grandfather and I own our two boats together. My parents are very generous but have never spent a dime on my hobby. I have never asked them to.

 

I in no way intended to complain. I am simply sharing my point of view from a unique perspective. I care a lot about the relationship I have with my parents and enjoy spending time with them. I am fully aware that one day I wish to be back on the water with them. There is zero doubt about that. 

 

I am simply asking how to navigate this situation and learn to see the positives better than the negatives. I have come a long way with them and our relationship is very strained. I have received lots of great advice on how to deal with this already along with help to change my perspective.

 

The very reason I am here is because I have identified an issue, realized that it shouldn't be one, and am asking for help from people who have influenced me in more ways than I could ever imagine. I 

[Finessegenics]

1 hour ago, newriverfisherman1953 said:

This really doesn’t need to get ugly

x2. Dont think OP was being disrespectful, just giving context behind him asking his question. I deal with the same thing all the time with my buddies who aren't into fishing and it can get very frustrating. The memories and laughs are worth it though. 

[schplurg]

When I was 18-19 I did everything I could to get away from the parents. They were normal parents, which isn't the point. They were parents.

 

I look at kids these days who live at home til they're 30 and I think to myself that if a kid is fine living at home for that long than the parents have probably failed. No kid should want to be around their parents at that age! 

 

I don't blame someone who is 19 for wanting to be away from them, especially if, as the OP said, they have a strained relationship. Later in life I changed my attitude, as many people do. My Dad almost died when I was 25 and that changed it for me.

 

So anyone my age who is saying you're doing something "wrong" etc is possibly forgetting what it's like to be 19. We also don't know what your parents are like. Some are jerks. But it's good to get advice of all different types of people like you're doing here.

 

I love my parents now. Back then? Sure I loved 'em but pfft, leave me alone and stop telling me what to do!