Dealing with inexperienced anglers

[Quarry Man]

This is gonna come off as selfish and unappreciative but that isn't my intention. I fully respect my parents and am grateful for the life and relationships they have given me.

 

My parents are suddenly interested in fishing. Thats great I love them and usually enjoy spending time with them. I have gone out a bunch the last couple days, and each time they insist on coming. I like not having to fish alone, but sometimes I need to just relax by myself. fishing is my escape. I enjoy teaching beginners and acting like a guide. 

 

My parents have no interest in learning how to fish. Mom wants to keep me company (aww) and dad just wants to catch. My mom doesn't understand that you don't just cast and reel. I got her on  few 2lbers with ned rigs one day, did fine. Next day we went trout fishing and gave her cast and reel lure. Next day back to Neds and she's reeling 100 mph. I tell her several times to reel slow, doesn't work. Oh well I tried, don't think she cares, just wants to be with me. The next day we go powwerbaiting for trout, every 3 minutes she's reeling in her bait. I tell her that you need to let it sit and she says how she was casting and reeling yesterday so now she's doing the same today. I say it doesn't work like that. She keeps getting tangled with her other line because she doesn't grasp where to cast and the constants retrieving doesn't help. Eventually I lose my temper a bit and get frustrated. Maybe a bit over the top, but slightly warranted. I had barely had the opportunity to fish because every 3 minutes im cutting the line due to tangles. She also drops my nice reels on the cement like its not a big deal. I cover my rods and reels and treat them like the babies they are. Almost none of my reels even have a scratch.

 

As far as dad goes, I backed the boat down, got it in the water, then realized the winch strap was still on, pulled it out and he started yelling bc he almost fell in somehow. All good, but it irks me a bit. We fix it, everything is good. Buddy decides to jump into my 14' boat and of course he lands on my $300 rod. O freak out saying why did you do that all the rods are exactly where you jumped. He freaks saying its nay fault I didn't tell him what to do. Then the boats floating away because I wasn't anticipating a sudden takeoff. He can't figure out how to turn the tm on and come back to the dock. Then mr Powerful adult dad blames me for my rod breaking and uses his authority to make me at fault.

 

I spend all my money on fishing and gas to go to work or fishing. I don't go for joy rides, I don't buy Gucci, I don't go to Starbucks everyday, don't go to the movies. I am frugal bc I love fishing and thats how I want to spend my money. I like good rods and downplay the amount I spend on rods bc the parents won't get it. I hate not being able to relax and be able to fish myself. Instead I am constantly dealing with other people's messes.

 

TLDR: I love my parents, I love spending time with them, I love teaching people to fish, I hate babysitting adults, I hate when careless acts destroy my hard earned gear. I am normally very complacent, but my parents are the two people who really get me going sometimes. How do you deal with this kinda stuff?

 

I want to continue fishing with them, but not if its unenjoyable and extremely expensive on my end. In the future I will not be bringing my expensive gear, we will use fewer lines and I will give mom a cast and reel 100% of the time. I will be more instructive at the ramp with my dad.

[scaleface]

I couldnt take my Dad bass fishing . He just wasnt cut out for it .So instead  I took him catfishing or white bass fishing .He could do that .

[GreenPig]

Sounds like you need to order a couple Zebco 33 combos. 

[schplurg]

Dude I loved your story!

 

I'm trying to help out my parents now and they are acting like little babies. It ain't about fishing, wish it was. They screwed up their finances bad and they listen to nobody except morons, make dumb expensive mistakes, and and and AND!!!

 

I don't know how old you are. I feel for ya man. But if you're stuck with them.....

 

Give Mom a spinner bait and let her cast and crank all day, regardless of conditions. Tell her this is the magic bait.

 

Give Dad something he can't possibly catch a fish with.

 

After awhile one of them will quit (Dad first probably) and the other will soon follow and leave you alone.  

 

On the other hand, as an adult, I really wish my ol' Dad would fish with me, and it's cool that you have parents that give a fart about you. A lot of parents don't seem to. If your parents are cool (other than as fishing partners) count your blessings  

[Bird]

Yeah quite the story, entertaining.

 

Do you feel the need to tell them everytime you're going fishing. 

Love your parents as they love you but alone time is a necessity. 

[NHBull]

Sometimes it not about the fishing ?

[Craig P]

Enjoyed your story. I’ll assume you are youngish and have never taken kids fishing.   Parents end up being a lot like kids when they get older and just like kids, enjoy every second you get, time goes too fast. 

[Hammer 4]

Go fishing late at Night..?

[newriverfisherman1953]

Be patient with them and enjoy time together. I suspect they have been very patient with you as well. 

[geo g]

Your not fishing a tournament so put everything in perspective.  They will not be around forever, so just enjoy your time together.  There are many of us that would just love a day out on the lake with our parents just one more time.  So if their truly beginners get those Zebco 33's out and a few plastic worms and sit back and just enjoy them while you still have them.

If you don't want them to go, then don't tell them your going!

 

 

Part #2  How old are you?  Are you still living in their house?  Are they buying your food, and paying your bills?  Are you using their boat?  If you have your own place, get up and go fishing without telling them anything.  I don't understand what the big deal is!

[Hower08]

Hmmmm. I'm not sure what a Gucci is but it sounds expensive but

 Try to enjoy the time with your folks. Try to teach them. I know it may sound disrespectful when your talking to them but slow down and talk kind of like you are talking to a 5 year old. Literally explain EVERYTHING even stuff you don't think you need to explain. I now do this Everytime  I am trying to teach anyone anything and it seems to work very well. You didn't mention how old you are 

And you and your buddy should have been at the store or online replacing that rod that day or it would have got delt with behind the wood shed 

[Brew City Bass]

Honesty is the best policy. 

Tell them how you feel. If you want to seriously fish, tell them you're a serious fisherman. You can still take them out once in a while and put up with the crap you have. Bring out the $30 combos those days, and plan on babysitting and not catching anything. 

My mom / dad are the same way. I have to babysit them, and it's basically 0 fun for me even though I'm spending the $25 on gas to the lake, $15 in gas motoring around, and the stress of trying to put them on fish and let them have fun. I just flat out tell them I don't want to do that every week. I told them I'm more than happy taking them out once or twice a month for a family outing, but anything more isn't fun for me and I get grumpy. 

It hurt their feelings at first, but they realized they were making it not fun and I wasn't just being a jerk.

[Quarry Man]

1 hour ago, schplurg said:

Give Mom a spinner bait and let her cast and crank all day, regardless of conditions. Tell her this is the magic bait

 

On the other hand, as an adult, I really wish my ol' Dad would fish with me, and it's cool that you have parents that give a fart about you. A lot of parents don't seem to. If your parents are cool (other than as fishing partners) count your blessings  

Thats a great idea, Ill pick up some dollar spinnerbaits at Walmart once quarantine ends.

 

I am very lucky to have two caring parents. I definitely take my life for granted.

1 hour ago, Bird said:

Do you feel the need to tell them everytime you're going fishing. 

Love your parents as they love you but alone time is a necessity. 

I normally wouldn't but we are all at my lake house together and they were off from school all week with nothing better to do. 

I will tell them I need some alone time if this continues.

1 hour ago, Craig P said:

enjoy every second you get, time goes too fast. 

it sure does. I wish my moms dad was still around now that I love fishing. He went all the time. My mom would go with him as a youngster and this is why she goes with me.

 

1 hour ago, newriverfisherman1953 said:

Be patient with them and enjoy time together. I suspect they have been very patient with you as well. 

that would be an understatement. I am not the easiest person in the world thats for sure.

 

1 hour ago, geo g said:

There are many of us that would just love a day out on the lake with our parents just one more time.  So if their truly beginners get those Zebco 33's out and a few plastic worms and sit back and just enjoy them while you still have them.

thats the reason my mom loves to go so much, she could care less about the fish.

 

Im gonna bring the Daiwa samurais bake out next time with the spinnerbaits from Walmart like I said. Seems foolproof

 

59 minutes ago, Hower08 said:

Hmmmm. I'm not sure what a Gucci is but it sounds expensive but

 You didn't mention how old you are 

And you and your buddy should have been at the store or online replacing that rod that day or it would have got delt with behind the wood shed 

overpriced brand name clothes that "cool kids" waste their money on.

19

I don't follow this part. my parents aren't abusive and nobody wants to fight me.

56 minutes ago, Brew City Bass said:

Honesty is the best policy. 

Tell them how you feel. If you want to seriously fish, tell them you're a serious fisherman. You can still take them out once in a while and put up with the crap you have. Bring out the $30 combos those days, and plan on babysitting and not catching anything. 

My mom / dad are the same way. I have to babysit them, and it's basically 0 fun for me even though I'm spending the $25 on gas to the lake, $15 in gas motoring around, and the stress of trying to put them on fish and let them have fun. I just flat out tell them I don't want to do that every week. I told them I'm more than happy taking them out once or twice a month for a family outing, but anything more isn't fun for me and I get grumpy. 

It hurt their feelings at first, but they realized they were making it not fun and I wasn't just being a jerk.

whole thing started because I told mom no more fishing bc it was a babysitting session. For months she tried to guilt me into fishing with her by making me feel terrible and spoiled (rightfully so). I am totally fine "guiding" every so often, but a stressful as it is I can't take 6 hours a day of berating.

 

I will likely confront them soon enough. If they don't agree too bad. As supportive as they are, they are stubborn and controlling at times and I am slowly losing my tolerance for it.

 

[Shimano_1]

It's easy to say just calm down and be patient but it is indeed very hard to do. Fished a tournament with my wife yesterday.  She has no desire to fish but my partner bailed dude to family issues so she filled in to spend time with me. It was all good and she's good company but every fish I caught she'd grab the net then walk on every rod on deck in the process.  I did ok with it and never said much but my heart broke a little more every time. I explained to her today that I greatly appreciated her going and had fun but....considering the $ I spend on my gear she needed to be a little more careful.  I'd maybe talk to your parents sensibly and explain what you've outlined here. As far as your buddy goes I'd probably be looking for another buddy to fish with if he was breaking my rods then blaming me for it. Good luck!

Pretty sure hower08 is saying your buddy should have replaced the rod he broke. If one of my buddies broke a 300 dollar rod he better at least offer to replace it. 

[Oregon Native]

Ahhhhhh.....stories of life

[DitchPanda]

Well I'm fortunate in that my mom hates fishing...and my dad taught me how and even moved to Okoboji Iowa a few years ago when he retired to fish more so I don't have the issues your talking about. But I did when I taught my girlfriend how to fish and I will say like anything it all takes time. Get cheap gear they can beat on and be patient and it will come together. Also don't feel bad about saying hey I work hard for what I have so please be respectful of my things. They are your parents so surely they should understand that simple request since they probably said that to you growing up. If they don't respect it don't take them.

[FishinBuck07]

I am guessing you are young, and I am not preaching here but will say this!  Your parents aren't really wanting to fish, with all that is going on in the world right now, they are realizing what is important, and that is you!  I understand wanting to fish by yourself and having peace and quiet, but one day you will wish you had that time back with them!  I lost my dad when I was 19, they are not around forever, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I could have went fishing with him more.  They just want to be with you and spend time, the world we live in right now is making everyone for the most part change their way of thinking, myself included!  Just have patience with them, who says once you are out there you can't move away from them if you are bank fishing.

[Hower08]

9 hours ago, Quarry Man said:

overpriced brand name clothes that "cool kids" waste their money on.

19

I don't follow this part. my parents aren't abusive and nobody wants to fight me.

If your only 19 I'll explain exactly what it is. Your probably just recently on your own or have been for a year or so. They're trying to spend every minute they can with you before your out in the world doing your own thing. Spend what ever time you can with them. My dad is my main fishing partner but these last few years and especially now with all this corona crap we have not been able to get out together very much. Put a crankbait or a spinnerbait on for them and let them cast. They will catch fish 

 

    And I never said anything about your parents being abusive I was talking about your buddy that stepped on your rod and broke it. Me and all my friends fish high end stuff and the unwritten rule is "you break it you buy it" if that fails to happen then someone is going to get thumped 

[Mike L]

When I first read your post I had to wait awhile before I responded   because I didn’t want to say what I felt.

 

I’ll just say this.

There will come a time (hopefully decades from now) when you’ll have all the alone time you can handle without them. 
I hope you will have forgotten what you feel now. 
 

 

 

 

 

Mike

[the reel ess]

Good story. Just remember that, when you were a baby, pooping your diapers and unable to fend for yourself, they did everything for you. If you haven't had kids yet, it will be good experience. Show them a time or two and then they're on their own. As for your expensive equipment, you have to protect that like you're fishing with children.

 

My dad got me into fishing and was the patient one when I was young. When he got about 65, he didn't want to go in the summer and grind out dog days for a few 2 pounders. So I just let it go. He did go to a pond with me one time the fall be fore he died unexpectedly. He caught a couple on the Trick Worm on my spinning rod. After a couple fish, he had the line twisted and didn't remember how to T rig a worm. I couldn't believe that. He was the one who taught me. I fixed it but he decided it wasn't worth the effort. He went and sat on my tailgate and chatted with our buddy while I walked the bank, catching fish. He did tell me I had gotten a lot better at fishing after he stopped going with me. I didn't know it would be the last time I'd go fishing with him on this side of life.

 

I have people, sometimes the pond owners where I fish, that want me to tell them how to catch bass or how I knew they would bite what I was casting. You can't just impart 40 years of collective experience to a person in one conversation. I will give them a very basic rundown of seasonal situations, water temp, fish migration, etc. and then suggest they go to this site. If I speak with them later, they'll ask the same questions and I'll know they didn't bother. They don't want to know badly enough to do their own study. if I really try to tell them what I know from experience, I get the 40 yard stare.

 

I would say give them a Zebco combo with a Beetle Spin, a Rooster Tail or a Mepps Comet and let them chunk and wind. They're late in life to learn all the ins and outs of serious bass fishing. Also, the Trick Worm is the bomb. I have a buddy that goes kayaking with me and he just casts and slowly reels the thing and catches bass-even big ones-even in cold water.

 

 

[gim]

Taking young children is really no different than this.  Everyone has to start somewhere and learn.  Constantly babysitting someone gets old, I hear ya.  Maybe explain to them that if they want to come, tell them you can't hold their hands the whole time because you need both of yours to fish effectively.  If they still insist on going, tell them to bring their own gear.

[Quarry Man]

9 hours ago, Shimano_1 said:

 I'd probably be looking for another buddy to fish with if he was breaking my rods then blaming me for it. Good luck!

Pretty sure hower08 is saying your buddy should have replaced the rod he broke. If one of my buddies broke a 300 dollar rod he better at least offer to replace it. 

It was my dad haha

 

and yeah I will talk to them if it continues. Its hard to fish two plus people in a tiny boat

25 minutes ago, Hower08 said:

If your only 19 I'll explain exactly what it is. Your probably just recently on your own or have been for a year or so. They're trying to spend every minute they can with you before your out in the world doing your own thing. Spend what ever time you can with them. My dad is my main fishing partner but these last few years and especially now with all this corona crap we have not been able to get out together very much. Put a crankbait or a spinnerbait on for them and let them cast. They will catch fish 

 

    And I never said anything about your parents being abusive I was talking about your buddy that stepped on your rod and broke it. Me and all my friends fish high end stuff and the unwritten rule is "you break it you buy it" if that fails to happen then someone is going to get thumped 

I can definitely see where they would want to spend time now that I am home after being gone for a long time. I enjoy fishing with them and will work on things.

 

I figured that wasn't what you meant, but I wasn't sure. I was just frustrated that it was my fault somehow. In the grand scheme of things its only a few dollars out the door.

[scaleface]

I  went bass fishing by myself . Its my time to unwind .  I took Dad out for catfish, crappie and white bass . When he could no longer do   that , we sat on the bank and caught whatever would bite .

[CountryboyinDC]

Sounds like you need to have some kids.  You'll have more patience for your parents.  The in laws, though....you're on your own.

[Quarry Man]

when my mom's father passed away, I was only 11. I wasn't into fishing at the time, and I barely knew that man. He was passionate about fishing and used to take my mom when she was little. Part of the reason why she's goes with me is because it reminds her of her childhood. I wish we had spent more time together now that he is gone and I would love to get the chance to have fished with him.

 

With that being said, my other grandfather loves to fish, mostly because he wants to spend time with me. He is a bi more self sustainable, but I usually end up retying and such for him. I feel that part of me has made a promise to make up for the lost time with mom's dad, with my grandfather.

 

With that being said, how do I make the most of our time together? Obviously spending time together duhh, but I want to really take in what we do.