Ex-Wife's Revenge ~

[A-Jay]

After 20 years of marriage, a man named Jack left his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend desperately wanted to live in the million-dollar mansion that Jack and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Edith, shared while they were together. Jack, eager to please his girlfriend, made sure it happened.

 

With better and more ruthless lawyers, Jack won legal rights to the mansion. His young secretary rejoiced. As for Edith? Jack gave her just three days to pack her things and leave the house. Brutal.

Defeated, Edith complied with her ex-husband’s unfair demand. What choice did she have? On the first day of her final three days in the mansion, she packed her bags and boxes, mulling over just how much she would miss her longtime home.

On the second day, the moving company picked up her boxes and transported them to her new apartment across town. All the while, she wrestled with her feelings of anger and betrayal. She had to do something. But what?

By the third day, she had a plan for revenge. It started with one last meal in the dining room. There, she treated herself to a small feast: a plate of shrimp with caviar and a bottle of Champagne. Edith then enacted the final part of her plan and left the house…

 A short time later, Jack returned with his new flame. For a couple of days, the two lived in the paradise of a few-thousand-square-foot mansion. But then the house began to smell…

Why the heck does this house stink? Jack wondered. With no answers, he searched for solutions. He and his girlfriend tried everything to get rid of the smell—cleaning, wiping, and vacuuming. Still, the odor grew worse.

Jack checked the air conditioning, thinking there may have been a dead mouse inside. He called for exterminators to drop a chemically induced death sentence on any possible vermin. Nothing worked.

As days passed, the smell became torture. Friends stopped visiting. Even handymen refused to work in the house, and the maid quit. Finally, driven to the edge of insanity, Jack reached a solution.

He was a rich guy, right? He’d just buy a new house where he and his young secretary could live odor-free. However, the smell was like a curse: rumors of the “stinkhouse” spread throughout the area. No one wanted to buy the home.

Desperate, Jack lowered the list price for his house. Then he lowered it again. And again. Eventually, not even realtors wanted anything to do with it. So Jack took a different route…

Jack took out a loan to buy a new house. Then one day his ex-wife called him and asked him how he was doing. He proceeded to complain about his ordeal with the home. She patiently listened to his story.

When he finished speaking, Edith told him how she missed living there and would be ready to lower his alimony payments if he would give her the house back. Jack hungrily licked his lips at the offer. She had no idea how bad it smelled!

Finally offered an out, Jack agreed to let Edith take the house—under one condition. She had to sign the agreement, sight unseen, on the same day. Edith agreed and met up with Jack to sign the contract. She wore a wicked ear-to-ear smile—for a good reason.

See, Edith knew why the house smelled so bad. The odor was all her doing. On her last night in the house, right after her final meal of shrimp, caviar, and Champagne, she didn’t exactly exhibit the best table manners…

She’d dipped her leftover shrimp in the caviar and stuffed the remains into all of the home’s hollowed-out curtain rods. For good measure, she sewed a few of the shells into the hem of the curtains, too.

A week later, Jack and his lover stood smiling and full of relief in front of their former house, watching the moving company transport their belongings away. Finally—finally!—they’d escaped that horrid stench. Even better? It would be Edith’s problem, now…

Edith, however, never even caught a whiff of the odor that’d pressured Jack into giving away his multi-million dollar home. Because when the movers packed up all of Jack’s stuff, they took the curtain rods with them!

Talk about an effective way to get back at a cheating ex. While the story of Jack and Edith may be a work of fiction, there’s no doubt that need for revenge, justice, and free real estate lives within all of us.

 Looks like his ex-wife got the last laugh on that one with a little bit of shrimp revenge!

 

A-Jay

[Bass Turd]

I've never been so glad we don't have curtain rods. 

[BassNJake]

I used to pour concrete and the superintendent would drive up to the site, hit his horn and call you over to his vehicle.

As you talked to him through a barely cracked window, you could feel the coldness of the air conditioning pouring out.

 

One day he showed up to the job and there was an issue with the paving machine, so he had to get out.

 

Somebody took a roadkill(dead raccoon), put it in a walmart bag and dropped it behind the bench seat.

About 2 weeks later, he had a new company truck.

He started locking his doors if he had to get out on the job.