frosty Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 16 minutes ago, Austin11C said: I see what you're saying and I do appreciate your advice and your opinion, I never said I didn't. But for me simply leaving her isn't what I want to do. Have you never asked for opinions/advice and someone give you something that just doesn't work with you? Do you do it anyways just because another said so? Or do you politely say I'm looking for a different kind of advice and keep looking? Maybe I should have worded it as to say hey guys what does your girlfriends or wives do while your fishing? That may have been a better way to put it to get ideas. Maybe I am looking for reinforcement of what I want, 1 to not leave her because of this and 2 ideas on how to maybe help the situation. But like I already said thank you for your advice and opinions, good luck fishing Well it's good that you are dedicated enough not to want to leave her, but I seriously suggest you guys get this worked out. Little things build up and turn into big things. I wish you guys all the best. If you don't mind me getting a little preachy, this could easily be avoided by not living together before marriage. She would be spending time without you, helping her to develop things she likes doing while you're doing things you enjoy. I hope you get things worked out. 2
Super User Jar11591 Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 2 hours ago, deaknh03 said: Please don't take this as me being a jerk off, but you need to think about why your with her. It's not your job, as a young man, to find her hobbies because she's bored. I think most of us have been there, done that, with this type of girl, and I will honestly tell you, get away while you can. AMEN.
Super User Jar11591 Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 Been there, never again under any circumstances. I have friends who are unable or unwilling to escape situations like this and have pretty much been forced to give up hobbies that they were passionate about. It boggles my mind how someone can not respect the hobbies of the person they're in a relationship with, but it boggles my mind even more so when someone will tolerate that from their girlfriend/wife. Don't be one of those guys! I know its a hard decision to make, but do you think this is the type of situation that will get better or worse as you guys get more serious? My money is on the latter.
Super User JustJames Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 Seem to me like, she is not your GF material, nor do you her BF material. I married, we have no kids and I have 3 hobbies that I love to do, fishing, riding motorcycle and wood working. I work 6 days a week and my day off is our family day. Even though my wife not enjoy my hobbies but she truly support it. She hand picked this bike for me after I sold my first one due to accident. She let me buy all fishing gears(after a lot of nagging and whining ?) and even move to canyon lake so I can fish more conviniently. All I want to say is you will have to compromise, not all about you and your fishing dilemma. I don't get to fish all day, but I will fish whenever I can 2-3 hrs and when she is not around or while she's sleeping, Once awhile she would let me out for a whole day trip with friend. But whenever she needs me home, I'll be home. Find a day or hour that you can go without interfered both of your day. Take her out with you not just for fishing but maybe a picnic day where you can fish. She might enjoy more if you got as a group so she can talk to someone while you are away fishing. Good luck in your relationships, it tough but you will find some happiness in it. 3
Super User scaleface Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 My wife doesnt fish so I bought a boat she could lay back in read a book while I fish . Were both content . 4
Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 3 minutes ago, scaleface said: My wife doesnt fish so I bought a boat she could lay back in read a book while I fish . Were both content . I'm hoping this will help I plan on getting a boat as soon as I can. 2
ScottDB Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 In my opinion if someone really cares about you they'll make compromises for you even if they don't like it just to see you happy. But this is a two way street. Work out times when you can fish while she's at work/ school/ etc.. unless she literally has nothing to do then you two gotta find middle ground. I had a buddy that had this problem whenever his girlfriend had free time she wanted to see him. Which was like every single day and he would say he wanted some alone time and she would get so pissy about it.. They didn't last long after that needless to say. Personally I'd tell her to give me some breathing room especially if you haven't been together long. Clingy can be cute sometimes and it feels good to be wanted but I get irritated when someone is constantly all over me I can't stand it. 58 minutes ago, JustJames said: Seem to me like, she is not your GF material, nor do you her BF material. I married, we have no kids and I have 3 hobbies that I love to do, fishing, riding motorcycle and wood working. I work 6 days a week and my day off is our family day. Even though my wife not enjoy my hobbies but she truly support it. She hand picked this bike for me after I sold my first one due to accident. She let me buy all fishing gears(after a lot of nagging and whining ?) and even move to canyon lake so I can fish more conviniently. All I want to say is you will have to compromise, not all about you and your fishing dilemma. I don't get to fish all day, but I will fish whenever I can 2-3 hrs and when she is not around or while she's sleeping, Once awhile she would let me out for a whole day trip with friend. But whenever she needs me home, I'll be home. Find a day or hour that you can go without interfered both of your day. Take her out with you not just for fishing but maybe a picnic day where you can fish. She might enjoy more if you got as a group so she can talk to someone while you are away fishing. Good luck in your relationships, it tough but you will find some happiness in it. Is it hard to find woodworking shops or did you buy your own machines? I took woodshop 3 years in high school and I was in love with it. I've seen woodworking classes around my area but I've never looked into them. My hopes are to build my own little shop when I get my own place. 1
MissouriMark Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 If your finances allow , give her some $ so she can go shopping , have her buy something nice for herself , and / or take her out to dinner at a nice restuarant. for some us time . As said before , she needs to pick her own hobbies . Good luck !!! 2
Super User JustJames Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 14 minutes ago, ScottSteve101 said: Is it hard to find woodworking shops or did you buy your own machines? I took woodshop 3 years in high school and I was in love with it. I've seen woodworking classes around my area but I've never looked into them. My hopes are to build my own little shop when I get my own place. No I don't have my shop setup. I was gonna set one up in my garage (3 cars garage) but all the dust all over our car and my motorcycle. My wood working is just small stuffs that useful around the house. I gave my work bench and wheel cart to my friend when we move here a few months ago. 1
1234567 Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 I purposely pi$$ off my wife and eventually tells me to go fishing to get rid of me for awhile. 2
Super User gim Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 Are you saying that she doesn't have ANY hobbies that she can occupy herself with while your gone? What does she do for fun? What did she do before you met for fun? I feel like if she's just sitting around waiting for you to get back that is a little odd. Don't make her go with. You've already seen how miserable it can get when you try to bring someone along that doesn't really want to go - it ruins it for both of you. You got a lot of good advice on here already on the subject but if she can't respect the items that you enjoy doing on a regular basis, I'd show her the door. I've got some friends who have sacrificed a lot of their free time over the years for family time and I know they didn't want to do it but they got into that problem and now they're stuck. Good luck to ya. 1
frosty Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 35 minutes ago, ScottSteve101 said: Is it hard to find woodworking shops or did you buy your own machines? I took woodshop 3 years in high school and I was in love with it. I've seen woodworking classes around my area but I've never looked into them. My hopes are to build my own little shop when I get my own place. Look up rockler and woodcraft. They have nice selections of power tools and a lot of stores, veritas makes some awesome hand tools. Lee valley if you want the super sexy/ super expensive hand planes. Most of my woodworking tools are from menards or lowes. 2
kadas Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 3 hours ago, frosty said: Bro, it's not your job to entertain her 24/7. Hell I've been married 10 years and I tell my wife the same thing when she's complaining about being bored. My beautiful bride regularly tells me to go fishing however, so I don't give her to much of a hard time. This is a slippery slope you're headed down. You're already aggravated about it or you wouldn't have posted, one day you're going to come home from fishing aggravated and she'll be pissy, then the poo is going to hit the fan. Do yourself and her a favor, get this worked out now, you don't want to just ignore it. If you marry this girl you could wind up mighty unhappy. Best of luck. I tend to agree with this--it is not your job to get her a hobby so you can go fishing without feeling guilty but frosty is correct you need to get it resolved before your relationship goes to the permanent level because I do not think it will get any better with working it out--JMO 1
ScottDB Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 42 minutes ago, frosty said: Look up rockler and woodcraft. They have nice selections of power tools and a lot of stores, veritas makes some awesome hand tools. Lee valley if you want the super sexy/ super expensive hand planes. Most of my woodworking tools are from menards or lowes. Appreciate it!
GetBent Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 GTFO lol. Plenty of women out there that like to fish. My wife enjoys it but doesn't do it much more, but we have young kids so it's hard for her to go. She knows I'm bat **** crazy about fishing so she doesn't give me grief about going or spending the money to do it. Plenty of hotties out there that like to fish and don't complain to much.
Super User slonezp Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 There are 2 solutions. Leave her or fill her full of guilt for raining on your parade. 4 hours ago, gimruis said: Are you saying that she doesn't have ANY hobbies that she can occupy herself with while your gone? What does she do for fun? What did she do before you met for fun? I never understood this about women. If I was born a woman and had boobs and a bottom, I would be occupied 24 hours a day and would never leave the house. 3
badgerboyng Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Have her come with you and read a book while you fish. It's the most classic solution. 2
Super User N Florida Mike Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 My wife doesn't have a hobby either,unless watching romantic movies could be called that. As I posted in a different thread, she doesn't much like to fish anymore.Occasionally , I'll come up with an idea for something she might like,and offer to do it with her. Whatever it is ,I actually end up enjoying it because the motive was good.You have to spend time and study her and learn what makes her tick and then do that more.I know it's kind of a dirty word nowadays , but commitment always pays dividends. When I do stuff WITH her,and do stuff FOR her ,she has no problem with me fishing. 2
Super User deaknh03 Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 6 hours ago, slonezp said: There are 2 solutions. Leave her or fill her full of guilt for raining on your parade. I never understood this about women. If I was born a woman and had boobs and a bottom, I would be occupied 24 hours a day and would never leave the house. You have 2 out of 3, you just weren't born a woman. Your welcome.
Super User Oregon Native Posted May 4, 2017 Super User Posted May 4, 2017 15 hours ago, halochef said: The best ever....... Wow is all I have to say. We don't (or shouldn't) be with people that we think we can change to our ways. There is so much to it. A lot of good info above and there would be sadness I'm sure in parting ways but if you like pressure and having to always think on what you can't or can do she's the one for you.
Global Moderator 12poundbass Posted May 4, 2017 Global Moderator Posted May 4, 2017 5 hours ago, roadwarrior said: I watched the whole thing....I'm confused. Did you put it up as a distraction, to change the subject?
Austin11C Posted May 4, 2017 Author Posted May 4, 2017 Just now, 12poundbass said: I watched the whole thing....I'm confused. Did you put it up as a distraction, to change the subject? I think he posted that as to say "dump" her 1
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