Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 I don't know if this is the right place to post this if not that's my bad, but I need some advice guys. I've come to realize this is by far the BEST forum for fishing advice and tips and mostly everyone seems to have experience and knows what they're talking about. So let me try for a little different advice...My girlfriend has basically no hobbies and always wants "attention". She gets super pissy if I even bring up fishing on one of our days off. She doesn't enjoy fishing so I don't take her with me(because knowing she's sitting there miserable makes me not enjoy it)I have taken her and it always ends with her saying are you almost done,can we go yet etc in like 30 mins of being there.but whenever I go by myself or with a friend she always just stays home and does nothing. I think if I can get her into some different hobbies that she can do while I'm fishing she will be less whiny about it. its not like I don't see her any other times. We live together! And I'm not even talking about the entire weekend. I told her I need one day to myself to do my stuff and also I think it would be good for the relationship to have a little personal time away from each other, I love her to death and not saying I don't want to spend time with her. I'm sure you guys know what I mean. Anyways. Anyone have any ideas on what kind of hobbies to get her into or any other ways to combat this? I just want to be able to go fishing without upsetting her. I know I'll get the classic answer "just put your foot down and tell her how it is" and I have told her I WILL fish but out of respect for her and our relationship I think it's best to talk about the problem and try to resolve it together rather than me just tell her I'm leaving to fish and walk out the door. Maybe I'm over thinking it. But it gets annoying sometimes. Sorry y'all. Just ranting a bit. Thanks for any suggestions.
Super User deaknh03 Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 Please don't take this as me being a jerk off, but you need to think about why your with her. It's not your job, as a young man, to find her hobbies because she's bored. I think most of us have been there, done that, with this type of girl, and I will honestly tell you, get away while you can. 13
Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 I know it's not "my job" I just feel in a relationship it's up to both sides to come together and try to find solutions to a problem. 1
Hog Basser Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Girlfriends/wives don't have to like your hobby, but they need to respect and accept it is something you will do from time to time. You can encourage her to find something, but it isn't a great idea to find a hobby for her, that's up to her and her alone. 9
smr913 Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Doesn't sound like she is willing to negotiate. Got to make up your mind if she is worth it or not. 2
Super User Choporoz Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 You sound like a nice guy...and you've thought a lot about this...I was going to bite my tongue ....but the other guys above.....well...come back in a year or two and tell us they weren't right 4
Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Maybe I worded it wrong, she is supportive and glad that I have a passion and hobby, it's just she doesn't like doing my hobby and basically just sits at home while I'm gone waiting on me to get back. I just thought if I had some ideas of things for her to do while I'm gone it would make her day better. I'm not going to leave her and she is definitely worth it. This is something I'm confident we can work out. I'm sure someone has some advice other than leave her. I'm not knocking y'all,thanks for the advice, but that's not what I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just young and dumb? lol. 1
Hog Basser Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Get her a spa package for the day then and you go fishing while she does that. Problem is, that costs money and you can't do it every time. 1
Super User BrianinMD Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 You are not responsible for her happiness, or finding her a hobby. Giving you grief because you want some time to be yourself is a huge red flag, you are not even married and she is already doing it. Think what it would be like married and with a kid. You are young there are plenty of good women out there. Can it be saved, possibly, but do not make yourself miserable to please anyone. 8
Super User Choporoz Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 8 minutes ago, Austin11C said: she is supportive and glad ......and basically just sits at home while I'm gone waiting on me to get back. . 27 minutes ago, Austin11C said: ...My girlfriend .... always wants "attention". She gets super pissy if I even bring up fishing on one of our days off. .... supportive....and glad.....and just a tad passive aggressive? OK....so...don't dump her...what about photography...my wife loves to fish...not like I LOVE to fish, but she enjoys it...at least she does when they're biting...when they aren't, she might engage HER first passion: photography..the two hobbies work pretty well together 2
Super User RoLo Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 I'd already be gone just kidding Roger 1
Super User deaknh03 Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 4 minutes ago, Austin11C said: Maybe I worded it wrong, she is supportive and glad that I have a passion and hobby, it's just she doesn't like doing my hobby and basically just sits at home while I'm gone waiting on me to get back. I just thought if I had some ideas of things for her to do while I'm gone it would make her day better. I'm not going to leave her and she is definitely worth it. This is something I'm confident we can work out. I'm sure someone has some advice other than leave her. I'm not knocking y'all,thanks for the advice, but that's not what I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just young and dumb? lol. I don't think your seeing what is being said to you...what advice are you looking for? Do you want to babysit her so she's not "pissy", your word, and every time you go fishing or leave the house you know your coming home to "pissy"...sounds like it might take a little fun out of a fishing trip. She's a big girl, if she can't find something to occupy her own time, your gonna be "working this out" for the rest of your life. She's not even my girlfriend and I just broke up with her. 11
Bruce424 Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Watch "im gonna miss her" by brad paisley! Right next to her. No but seriously its a hard thing what your dealing with. She might get pissy but I think she'll get over it. 3
3rdDon Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Y'all are jumping the gun on the breakup and missing the obvious solution. The ideal hobby for you to present to her is cooking. It will occupy her time while you're out AND you'll have a nice warm meal waiting on you when you get home. 10
frosty Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Bro, it's not your job to entertain her 24/7. Hell I've been married 10 years and I tell my wife the same thing when she's complaining about being bored. My beautiful bride regularly tells me to go fishing however, so I don't give her to much of a hard time. This is a slippery slope you're headed down. You're already aggravated about it or you wouldn't have posted, one day you're going to come home from fishing aggravated and she'll be pissy, then the poo is going to hit the fan. Do yourself and her a favor, get this worked out now, you don't want to just ignore it. If you marry this girl you could wind up mighty unhappy. Best of luck. 2
Super User soflabasser Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 1 hour ago, Austin11C said: Maybe I worded it wrong, she is supportive and glad that I have a passion and hobby, it's just she doesn't like doing my hobby and basically just sits at home while I'm gone waiting on me to get back. I just thought if I had some ideas of things for her to do while I'm gone it would make her day better. I'm not going to leave her and she is definitely worth it. You just answered your own question. She is supportive of your hobbies, loves you, and you feel she's worth it. A good woman is very hard to find, and you don't want to mess it up just because she doesn't like fishing.Invite her every time you go fishing and make the fishing trip fun for her when she joins you.Put her on some fish, give her a camera to take wildlife pictures, make a picnic for her,etc.With time she will join you fishing more often. 4
Super User WRB Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 Send a PM to ms.cavitycolors, reference Fishing Reports forum, Can you help ID this bass? This is the girl friend you need! Tom 2
Super User Scott F Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 My wife was not at all interested in fishing when I got my first boat. I was lucky, she never had a problem with me going on week long fishing trips with the guys. The thing that changed her mind was that I put her on fish and she caught them on artificials. She thought she had to use worms and hook minnows. Just like kids, once she catches a few, they start to like it 3
Super User OkobojiEagle Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 1 hour ago, Choporoz said: You sound like a nice guy...and you've thought a lot about this...I was going to bite my tongue ....but the other guys above.....well...come back in a year or two and tell us they weren't right I've been married to the same woman for 40 years... at this point in our relationship she's begging me to go fishing more often! Hang in there, you'll work it out. oe 5
Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Thanks soflabasser. That's good ideas. That's more the type of advice I was looking for. I figured someone had a similar experience where their gf/wife didn't like it when they went fishing and they actually figured something out besides leaving them. Thanks. 1
Super User deaknh03 Posted May 3, 2017 Super User Posted May 3, 2017 11 minutes ago, Austin11C said: Thanks soflabasser. That's good ideas. That's more the type of advice I was looking for. I figured someone had a similar experience where their gf/wife didn't like it when they went fishing and they actually figured something out besides leaving them. Thanks. doesn't seem like you wanted opinions as much as some reinforcement of what you already wanted. Good luck, keep fishin. 1
Austin11C Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 1 minute ago, deaknh03 said: doesn't seem like you wanted opinions as much as some reinforcement of what you already wanted. Good luck, keep fishin. I see what you're saying and I do appreciate your advice and your opinion, I never said I didn't. But for me simply leaving her isn't what I want to do. Have you never asked for opinions/advice and someone give you something that just doesn't work with you? Do you do it anyways just because another said so? Or do you politely say I'm looking for a different kind of advice and keep looking? Maybe I should have worded it as to say hey guys what does your girlfriends or wives do while your fishing? That may have been a better way to put it to get ideas. Maybe I am looking for reinforcement of what I want, 1 to not leave her because of this and 2 ideas on how to maybe help the situation. But like I already said thank you for your advice and opinions, good luck fishing 4
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