Weddings: how I loathe thee

[Master Bait'r]

Oh, weddings.  The most obnoxious and self centered pursuit of the human race.  Not just one day of celebration but months and months of meetings, plans, responsibilities, pre-parties, and commitments...  And I'm not even getting married!  

 

I am so sick of the hoops your friends make you jump through so they can feel sufficiently special.  It drives me insane.  Like, can't you just  elope or something and throw a party after?  I've got six weekends of crap to do for your wedding, hundreds and hundreds to spend and that doesn't even take into account the driving around to go to your stupid rehearsals, J&J planning, holding onto your tickets and money...  It just goes on and on.  It literally never stops.  

 

Im in having a pig roast with an open invitation.  Go or don't.  No gifts allowed.  Traditional weddings are both a massive waste and a huge burden on those around you.  Plan accordingly.  

[A-Jay]

Do you need a hug ?

A-Jay

[Bluebasser86]

How about just saying you can't go? I'd rather my friends be honest instead of being a grouch about the whole thing. Tell them you're happy for them, and you'll send a gift. 

My wife and I got married at the courthouse, then had a much bigger reception, since that's the fun part anyways. I agree that a lot of it is overdone and a waste of money, but if that's what someone wants to do with their money, I'm not really one to judge. Afterall, I spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and hours chasing a little fish that I'm just going to put back into the water after I catch it. 

[Oregon Native]

This world isn't getting any smarter!!!

[Crappiebasser]

I have a magic trick that gets me out of stuff like that. When I'm asked to do something I don't want to do I look them in the eye and say "No". Works everytime.

[buzzed bait]

my brother in law is getting married this Saturday in Athens, GA!  the upside is that we're going to play golf at the UGA course so i'm pretty stoked about that!

when i got married, i was very blunt about it.  if you don't want to come, i won't be at all disapppointed, just don't come out of any "obligation".  also, for that reason, i only really invited people that i really liked and wanted there.

[Cgrinder]

Actually just went to a very sensible wedding; old friends got married at a brewery an hour and a half from where we grew up. Starting at 5:00 PM: ceremony was fifteen minutes, open bar immediately after. Apps, salad, dinner, cake, dance, boom done and I'm on the road at 9:45.

[BrianinMD]

I hate the formality of weddings, was not going to do it. When my wife and I got married we rented a B&B and had everyone stay there. We had the whole place rented to no other guest would be around. Absolutely nothing was formal, had a friend get ordained online to perform the ceremony, shorts/t-shirts, they were doing the wave and heckling us during the ceremony....

It was 3 days of just having fun.

[Ratherbfishing]

4 hours ago, Master Bait'r said:

Oh, weddings.  The most obnoxious and self centered pursuit of the human race.  Not just one day of celebration but months and months of meetings, plans, responsibilities, pre-parties, and commitments...  And I'm not even getting married!  

 

I am so sick of the hoops your friends make you jump through so they can feel sufficiently special.  It drives me insane.  Like, can't you just  elope or something and throw a party after?  I've got six weekends of crap to do for your wedding, hundreds and hundreds to spend and that doesn't even take into account the driving around to go to your stupid rehearsals, J&J planning, holding onto your tickets and money...  It just goes on and on.  It literally never stops.  

 

Im in having a pig roast with an open invitation.  Go or don't.  No gifts allowed.  Traditional weddings are both a massive waste and a huge burden on those around you.  Plan accordingly.  

I'm right with you there bub but if you think "American" weddings are bad, try Indian weddings.  Not including prep time, etc. they go on for, like, three days.  THREE DAYS!!!!  I'd rather you just shoot me.

 

[Al Wolbach]

Weddings and funerals are a huge waste of money, IMO. There is a very large chance you will not survive either, lol. 

[Gundog]

1 hour ago, BrianinMD said:

I hate the formality of weddings, was not going to do it. When my wife and I got married we rented a B&B and had everyone stay there. We had the whole place rented to no other guest would be around. Absolutely nothing was formal, had a friend get ordained online to perform the ceremony, shorts/t-shirts, they were doing the wave and heckling us during the ceremony....

It was 3 days of just having fun.

That's the type of wedding I wanna go to. 

[mrmacwvu1]

Weddings were nice when I was single. It was always easy to score fun in the evening. Got married and then it became a bore. Now that I am divorced all of my friends are married or divorced so I do not have to go to them anymore. Last wedding I went to was in Mexico. Got to lay around for a week at an all inclusive bar. Don't remember anything but I was told it was nice.

[Master Bait'r]

5 hours ago, Bluebasser86 said:

How about just saying you can't go? I'd rather my friends be honest instead of being a grouch about the whole thing. Tell them you're happy for them, and you'll send a gift. 

My wife and I got married at the courthouse, then had a much bigger reception, since that's the fun part anyways. I agree that a lot of it is overdone and a waste of money, but if that's what someone wants to do with their money, I'm not really one to judge. Afterall, I spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and hours chasing a little fish that I'm just going to put back into the water after I catch it. 

 

Well that's just it...  The bride is one of my oldest friends.  She's like a sister to me.  I'd throw somebody off a bridge for her, so it feels disingenuous to say no to running around and spending some cash.  It's just never ending!  I have always been the "no thanks" guy but I was genuinely excited for her.  Now I'm just burnt out!

 

They can spend their money however they want but this is mine too haha...  And believe me it isn't the cash I care about.  It's my sanity!  You've never seen a group textalanche like when the bridal party decides to CC the groomsmen to "keep everyone on the same page"...  It's unbelievable.  Never again!

6 hours ago, A-Jay said:

Do you need a hug ?

A-Jay

 

No I'm actually on hug overload!  

 

 

[mod479]

Couple years ago, I was best man at 2 weddings in the same month, my brothers and best friends. Worst part in my mind was standing in front of 100s of people I didn't know, all eyes on me to give the best account of 2 of my closest friends in life. Got very nervous, talked to my dad about what I should be saying...he told me to just get people laughing (at the grooms expense) and keep it short so the festivities could begin. Good advice. So I sacked up, wrote some funny speeches and delivered them both. The collective weight of the earth was lifted off my shoulders when I finished both times. Felt amazing actually. Ended up having a great time with everyone, met a ton of good people at both events. Being the best man and single at 2 weddings had its perks too.... Yeah so missed out on few days of fishing but that's life anyways, seems we never get to go as much as we'd like. I know you're not in that situation but I say just grit your teeth and take off when you're over it. Don't be the angry couple that makes it obvious they don't want to be there!  

[roadwarrior]

Hmm...I love weddings and especially putting them on. Yeah, and back in the day, being best man definitely had its perks!  However, being the bride's dad or the groom's dad trumps everything. Two of my proudest moments in life. Others were being with friends when their kids got married.

If you hate it that much just don't go. Be polite and let them know you will be unable to attend, no excuses required. Seriously, I am not being mean, but I promise, no one will miss you.  Weddings are joyous occasions that friends and relatives cherish.  Don't be a stick in the mud, just don't go.

[buzzed bait]

5 hours ago, Ratherbfishing said:

I'm right with you there bub but if you think "American" weddings are bad, try Indian weddings.  Not including prep time, etc. they go on for, like, three days.  THREE DAYS!!!!  I'd rather you just shoot me.

i went to a "not-so-traditional" indian wedding a couple of months ago in Philadelphia.  It was 2 days and i can honestly say, one of the best times i've ever had.  it was interesting to say the least, but the groom's family went wayyyyyy out of their way to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves.  

[K_Mac]

"Well that's just it...  The bride is one of my oldest friends.  She's like a sister to me.  I'd throw somebody off a bridge for her, so it feels disingenuous to say no to running around and spending some cash.  It's just never ending!  I have always been the "no thanks" guy but I was genuinely excited for her.  Now I'm just burnt out!"

MB, while it may not be as heroic as throwing someone off a bridge or taking a bullet, putting her happiness ahead of yours in this situation is what a friend does . Old, dear friends are worth much...

 

[OCdockskipper]

I noticed something recently that happens here in Southern California, not sure if it is a regional thing or is nationwide.

30-plus years ago, the focus of a wedding was on the marriage ceremony (very formal), with the reception being a casual simple event.  Every wedding that I can recall going to in the late 70's/early 80's, all of the ceremonies were in a church with the reception in someones backyard.

That seems to have completely reversed.  The marriage ceremonies are much less formal, while the receptions are these outrageously planned events costing huge gobs of money and run like a theater production.

I sound like an old man saying this, but I believe the focus of the day has changed for the worse.

[Chris at Tech]

I dunno...

This doesn't sound so much like a wedding thing as much as your friend treating her friends/family as free labor.  You can actually throw or attend a nice, fun wedding which doesn't have the slave labor thing

[buzzed bait]

5 minutes ago, Chris at Tech said:

You can actually throw or attend a nice, fun wedding which doesn't have the slave labor thing

yeah, save the slave labor for the marriage.... that's what my wife did!

[Chris at Tech]

54 minutes ago, buzzed bait said:

yeah, save the slave labor for the marriage.... that's what my wife did!

Slave labor from your spouse is part of the deal   Expecting your friends to wait on you hand and foot so you feel special is an entirely different animal.

[Mike L]

My cousin married a man from Mexico who's 15 yr old daughter is having her Quincennra tomorrow night back home in Chicago. I never heard of such a thing and know nothing about about it. 

Before we left I was asking other family and friends about it and apparently it is a big deal! I'm told in a lot of ways it is more formal, structured and much more steaped in tradition than a traditional wedding that we're all familiar with.

Hey Raul, my wife says I even have to wear a tie!! Is that right?

 

Mike 

[Last_Cast]

I like weddings.

Drinks, food, family, friends.

Whats there not to like.

 

Especially the drinking