The Wife

[Josh Smith]

I love my wife.  I really do.  I grew up with her; she was my best friend's sister.  As adults, we fell in love.

 

Today I wandered over to eBay and typed in "Abu Garcia 4500" just for kicks.  There was an almost-new one listed with five minutes left.  I almost bid, but didn't.  It went for $20!

 

When April got home for the kid exchange we have before I go off to work, I told her I was sad.  She asked why, and I told her what I missed out on, that I almost bought it for my upcoming birthday but I knew she got upset when I bought things like that without mentioning it to her, and that I didn't know what she was planning to get me for my birthday.

 

She said I should have bought it!

 

That woman... she drives me crazy sometimes.  I love her to death, and it's not like she wouldn't have agreed to the purchase; she just likes being included in these decisions. 

 

<facepalm>

 

Josh

[bigbill]

Same here there all the same brother. Now if my first gut feeling is to buy it I jump on it.

I caught Heck for buying a leaf blower once. After 25 years of service the fuel line leaks. I told her to man the rakes till I fix it or get a new one. Watch how fast we get a new one. Lmao

Fishing equipment over rides everything now.

[roadwarrior]

Talk to her about a personal budget for both of you. Neither of you should need the other's permission

for occasional small purchases.

[long island basser]

Neither of you should need the other's permission

for occasional small purchases.

Agree 100%.

I haven't ask my wife if I can buy anything in 25 years of marriage .

We both work, I keep my money she keeps hers.

If I want something I get, if she wants something she gets it.

I don't ask for permission for anything... Buying , going out with my buddies, going fishing, ect..

It's worked great for 25 years.

[Bankbeater]

Same here. I let my wife know what I am buying, but I don't ask if I can buy it.

[DogBone_384]

My boss,err, wife, and I pretty well handle our own extra curricular expenses.

That's because I follow the 'shut up... show up... pay up... regiment the rest of the time...

[Josh Smith]

Thanks guys. It's really not a huge problem.

More than anything, she feels she must ask before she spends money -- just how she was raised -- or spends money and expects me to get mad, or something.

Now that she is working again that's slowly changing.

It's never something we argue about. In fact, I really think she sees it as a respect thing towards her. She just wants to be informed, not asked. It helps her security, or maybe some strange woman emotion I can't fathom.

Josh

[BrianinMD]

Same here as long island basser, out money is seperate. I buy what fishing or tech gear i want. She buys horse or horses she wants. As long as the bills are getting paid. Money is not important enough to argue both of our credit ratings are over 800. about unless bills dont get paid.

[Smokinal]

If it makes you feel better, you gotta remember that the highest bidder may have had an $80 bid on it and it would have wrung up as soon as you keyed your highest bid. So, who knows, you may have not won it anyway.

[K_Mac]

My wife and I talk regularly about our budget. Some months a few extra expenses are no big deal, some months we buy only what is needed. Communication is the key. It has worked well for us for a long time. The my money/her money system works for some. I have a friend who gets an allowance to spend as he wants. There is more than one system that works. I am not a fan of either partner having to ask permission, but you have to have a system or trouble wiill find you. It will occasionally find you even if you have one! Good luck!

[Last_Cast]

No worries, my lady does the same thing...

Could be worse- I have friends where their significant other controls everything they do, so its not too bad 

[quanjig]

Meh....... I think you did the right thing. I don't think it's a matter of you needing to ask her first, it's more a matter of respect.

[Bluebasser86]

Don't try to understand them or their way of thinking man. Every time I think I'm doing something right that will make my wife happy I just end up in trouble. 

[F14A-B]

I haven't needed to ask permission for a 20$ expenditure since high school. Everyone has to find what works for their situation.

Good advice on the thread.. Best wishes Josh.

[reb67]

I really thought this story was going to have a different ending. I thought you were going to say she was the bidder and was getting it for your birthday. OH well, at least you know now you can pull the trigger in this situation from now on. In til you do it.