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  • BassResource.com Administrator
Posted

Today, my wife found a spider in the car.  It freaked her out!  She asked me, "How in the world can a spider get in the car!?  Where do they come from!?"

 

I replied, "They probably came in the same hole the snakes use."

 

She was NOT amused!

 

I, on the other hand, was left gasping for air because I was laughing so hard - which didn't help the situation at all.  :)

 

So that begs the question, what did you say to your significant other that you probably shouldn't have?

  • Like 3
  • Super User
Posted

So that begs the question, what did you say to your significant other that you probably shouldn't have?

 

Well to my first wife it was "I Do".

 

But with my current wife - I'd have to really work at it.  She's heard all of my shtick and is only marginally impressed.

 

A-Jay

  • Like 7
  • Super User
Posted

When my wife gets a new outfit, her standard question is, "Does this make me look fat?"  When I say "No.", she asks if I'm saying that just to shut her up and I say "Yes."

 

Then she'll ask, upon returning from the beauty parlor, if her new "do" makes her look younger.  So I answer "Yes." and she asks if I'm just saying that to shut her up.  And again I answer "Yes."

 

Who'd a thunk that saying yes could get you into so much trouble.

 

Then she'll ask if her new outfit looks good on her.  I say, "Yes, but it looks better off of you."

 

That answer she doesn't mind.

  • Like 2
Posted

Well, I'll tell ya'...

 

My wife asked me if she was fat.

 

I was busy writing something on here, and without thinking I said, "Not as fat as you were when we got married."

 

It's a really good thing she loves me.  We grew up together; she's my best friend's little sister.

 

Josh

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

I want a divorce..

Posted

I have a friend,  his wife once claimed that he "tricked" her regarding how much he would fish throughout their marriage.

 

He replied that she had "tricked" him too.  She didn't say how fat she was going to get throughout their marriage. He tells it like it is.

 

True Story...

 

They've been married close to sixty years or more.

  • Super User
Posted

If you've been only been married once, don't introduce your spouse as your "first" wife.

  • Super User
Posted

If you've been only been married once, don't introduce your spouse as your "first" wife.

Or your future ex.

  • Like 1
  • BassResource.com Administrator
Posted

Or your future ex.

I just spewed Pepsi all over my keyboard!

Posted

I've found that pausing the tv and staring at her with an annoyed look on my face as I wait for a story to end isn't well received.

  • Like 6
  • Super User
Posted

I've found that pausing the tv and staring at her with an annoyed look on my face as I wait for a story to end isn't well received.

 

Seconded, but the result of this one is better than trying to turn the volume up to drown her out. lol I mean heck it's only play off baseball right?  :dazed-7:

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

PMO, you need to work on that.  There's this look I've been working on and almost have it down....it is difficult because to really work in your favor it needs to incorporate a VERY subtle transition: pause the tv, and then display a look that says, not quite "Wow" (because that would be transparently disengenuous), but "I'm engaged and more or less interested in what you're saying", but if it goes on for more than about 7 or 8 seconds, it will pay you great dividends to transition to this certain look that is short of "I stopped listening long ago and couldn't care less", but "I get it - I hear ya, I understand and feel for you, but I'm close to being done with this...but I really do almost care what you have to say"

 

Takes years to get it down, but worth the trouble to work on it.

  • Like 4
Posted

PMO, you need to work on that.  There's this look I've been working on and almost have it down....it is difficult because to really work in your favor it needs to incorporate a VERY subtle transition: pause the tv, and then display a look that says, not quite "Wow" (because that would be transparently disengenuous), but "I'm engaged and more or less interested in what you're saying", but if it goes on for more than about 7 or 8 seconds, it will pay you great dividends to transition to this certain look that is short of "I stopped listening long ago and couldn't care less", but "I get it - I hear ya, I understand and feel for you, but I'm close to being done with this...but I really do almost care what you have to say"

 

Takes years to get it down, but worth the trouble to work on it.

More often than not it's college football, so she knows I'm not done...there's the noon game, the 3:30, the SEC game @ 7, the big national game at 8, and if I'm not asleep the Pac 10 game at 10. 

  • Super User
Posted

The best way to stay out of trouble:

Shut Up ...

Show Up ...

Pay Up ...

  • Like 2
  • Super User
Posted

My wife tells me:

 

"What's yours is mine and what's mine is ours."

 

I don't have an answer for that yet. I gave up 

trying to have sweatshirts that are "mine" and such.

 

Happy wife, happy life. At least she lets me fish :smiley:

  • Like 1

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