A Senior Moment

[Sam]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

 

She dropped her shopping bags ...and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”. The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.

 

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

 

She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

 

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

 

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

 

No charges were filed.

 

The moral of the story?

 

If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.

 

[gardnerjigman]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! That is freaking great!

[A-Jay]

As a young boy, I remember spending time with my grandfather, who was 87 at the time.  He was a kind soul but a bit grumpy at times and interestingly enough, had been converted to nudism.  As he sat all day long in the greenhouse without a stitch on except for his hat, I asked him why felt like he needed a hat if he's a nudist.  

He hit me with his walking stick and holled, "Because I'm bald."

*************************************************

There was a bit of confusion at WalMart this morning.  When I was ready to pay for my order, the check-out Lady said to me, 'Strip down facing me.'

Making a mental note to complain to my Congressman about excessive security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my debit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

A-Jay

[lo n slo]

This old timer used to sit in the pew directly in front of us at church. He was bragging about his new hearing aid one Sunday morning. "It's the best one they make", he said. So I asked him, "What kind is it?"

"It's almost 12 and I'm gettin' hungry!", he shot back.