Old Is When...

[Scott F]

Old is when you can clearly remember your high school friend's name and birthdate but can't remember if you already taken your meds for the day.

 

That's why I use a pill box that has all my pills for each day of the week. 

[Bankbeater]

Old is when you delete your friend's phone numbers from your phone to make room for more doctor's phone numbers.

[Catch 22]

Old is when you write notes for needed things, then forget to read them.

 

Old is when you ask your own kids to wear name tags.

 

C22

[jitterbug127]

Old is when you prefer shredded wheat to captain crunch

[F14A-B]

Old is when you write notes for needed things, then forget to read them.

Old is when you ask your own kids to wear name tags.

C22

Yup, I write a list on my phone for the grocery & forget about it..

[Sam]

You know you are old when the things you like to do become a hassle.

[Redlinerobert]

Old is when you have drinks with your pals, and the hangover lasts for days instead of hours. 

[RoLo]

Old is when a girl asks you out,

while you're in her apartment.

 

Roger

[A-Jay]

Hey - this stuff is funny but it's not making me feel any better . . . .

 

Yesterday - even my shadow was complaining of a sore back . . .

 

A-Jay

[wytstang]

Old is when you turn to a radio station and hear your all time favorite song, then it ends and the DJ srceams "thanks for listeining to everybodies favorite Classic rock station" . When did Guns & Roses-Paradise City become a classic? I was heart broken that day.

[RoLo]

  You know you’re getting old, when they discontinue your blood-type

[F14A-B]

You can't be tried by a jury of your peers because there are none.

Children often innocently ask you, "What did people do before electricity?" And you can't remember.

[Scott F]

You know you're old when things you bought when they were new, are now antiques.

[Catch 22]

Old==as a kid you could hardly wait to get your Ovaltine secret decoder in the mail. 

[F14A-B]

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.

The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.

[SirSnookalot]

I have an app that allows me to find my car in a parking lot, being old I can't figure out how to use it.

[Fishing Rhino]

That's funny! A-Jay.. A dear friend of mine had a haircut done, as he went to pay her, & tip her.. She said this " I'm only going to charge you half price, you hardly have any hair to cut" ouch.. Poor Danny.. He talked about that for years!

 

Which brings to mind a question, or two.

 

When you go to a barber, or maybe a "stylist", how do you choose which hair to cut? 

 

In the same vein, why don't we call a toothbrush a teethbrush? 

 

No politically incorrect jokes about rednecks having one tooth, please.

[Fishing Rhino]

Nah, give your wife a set of color sharpies, and let her put her imagination to work. We need to see some pics.

 

She could always call Ron Popeil. 

 

[Mike L]

Old is when you finally retire and you have stuff to do,

but you keep putting it off to give you something to do!

Mike

[Catch 22]

Old is when you reject offers of help form others so you will have something to do.

 

My neighbor  and I have a friendly running battle about where the grass mow line is. He mows over on me to take my job so I do the same to him.

[SirSnookalot]

I wouldn't know about being old, I'm only 69.

[Catch 22]

Old is when you starting  caring less & less what people think about you.

 

Old is when you have to take a break between beer breaks, thats old=======that is old

 

Old is when you  have not much more to do than think about what to post on this thread.

 

Old is === ahh never mind its nap time

 

Old is when having "woodie" meant you owned a 1948 Ford station wagon with wood  trim.

I actually did own one in 1962. I possessed the other type woodies also back then also.

 

Old is when winning a fight means you hissed the other guy off worse than he did you.

[.ghoti.]

Old is when you have dry dreams and wet farts.