How To Deal With Girlfriends/wives?

[Josh Smith]

I met my wife when I was 10.  She was 6.

 

Her brother was my best friend growing up, and we used to go fishing all the time.  We hooked bass and catfish until he hooked himself on drugs.  Now he no longer has any interest in doing anything, and I have no interest in doing anything with him. 

 

April and I grew up together and eventually married two years ago.  We didn't figure out we were right for each other until we hit our late 20s/early 30s, and so spent a lot of time together as friends.  Years and years, in fact.

 

She knows me and I know her.  I got lucky in that respect, and I think we are probably more honest with each other and talk more openly than most couples.  (In fact, getting her to shut up is a challenge!  Hehehe)

 

April grew up poor.  She does worry about money, especially since we're lucky in that I make enough to keep her at home with the kids, doing what she enjoys, cooking and raising the children.  We aren't rich, but we could be a bit worse off.  She's excellent at crocheting and is starting a business of handmade items.  To give you an idea of how good she is, she will be starting an afghan for me with the Abu Garcia crest crocheted right in.  (She knows some folks who can do this with photographs, too, but tells me she is not that good!) 

 

She's good.  I'm proud of her.

 

Back to the subject:  What I've come to understand from April is not that she wants a lot, but rather that she wants to be thought of and remembered.

 

I found a couple good lures for cheap on eBay one night.  I bid on them, and bid on a lot of yarn for her, too.  She was very, very happy.

 

Likewise, last night I went and bought a smaller tackle box for bank fishing and a couple accessories I'd needed.  I got home and right away she asked, "So what you get me?"  I pulled out a $20 bill.  Told her I spent about that much on myself.

 

See, she likes to complain sometimes.  That shut her right down.  She knew I'd won.  It was funny.  We laughed.

 

There's just a lot of give and take to have in a successful relationship.  April isn't so much concerned about what she gets so much as what is fair.

 

Now, girlfriends are a different story.  When I had girlfriends, they had no right to question anything I did.  I was not obligated to explain myself.

 

More than one girlfriend, however, turned from being anti-gun to being gun nuts because I introduced them to the sport.  Basic safety instructions and a .22 rifle goes a long way to introducing folks to a safe, fun sport.

 

Same went for fishing.  A Zebco 33 and a baited hook did a lot in the way of making new anglers.

 

April enjoys these things, but has her own hobbies.  I tell her I'm going fishing, and she tells me to have a good time; supper will be at 5:30 so be here if you want to eat.

 

To me, this is the way it should work.

 

Regards,

 

Josh 

[retiredbosn]

I guess I should explain my post a bit better. Women do not want a man who placates, or gives in to them all the time. It makes u look weak, when life gets ugly and the defecation starts hitting the rotary oscillator they want to know they can count on you. If you have never had a backbone then they don't know that they can count on you. It's a phenomena called "Pleasing instead of Loving", look it up. Sure there are times for compromise but when your focus is pleasing her at all costs, you're in trouble. IMO there is a shortage of men, a man protects, a man provides, a man puts family first, a man is the earthly pillar of strength for his family, has the wisdom to know when to please and when to love. You can't be a man without a backbone and wide enough shoulders to bear your loved one's burdens. The fastest way to prove you aren't a man, give in all the time, don't be honest, allow someone else to do your job, give her enough of this behavior and she'll see you as weak and not worthy of her love and respect.

[Big C]

I'm not gonna give you some Dr. Phil advice.  You got two options 1. Stay single.  2. Buy ear plugs. 

[blackmax135]

Well you could do like I did; took my fiancé fishing the other day and she asked when I got the new depth finder and how much it cost. Go to cast your line and hook onto something and knock her in the head with the object you hooked so it looks like an accident and she will forget all about what she was asking.

[SirSnookalot]

Common sense is usually one's best guide.  Pretty simple if single get out if it isn't right for you, being married can be more complicated than that.

My wife has no interest in fishing or golf, she has gone a few times just to be with me, even took some golf lessons. She much prefers to attend a book review or go to various lectures, when she has asked I've gone with her.  A good relationship is give and take, each situation has to be evaluated on it's own merits and shortcomings.

[RSM789]

...MOST IMPORTANTLY ---  learn how to compromise

 

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Wife & Dog went fishing with you?  I am so jealous!!

 

I would love to take my dog along, but know that it would be a complete nightmare.  He is 105 lbs of smart but stubborn Anatolian Shepherd with the instinct that he must absolutely know what is going on & be in complete control.  Add in the fact that he is a klutz would result in chaos and not much fishing getting done.  Plus he is a food wh**e, so he would most likely try to eat anything I caught.

 

Still, it would be interesting to have him along ... 

[buzzed bait]

Wife & Dog went fishing with you?  I am so jealous!!

 

I would love to take my dog along, but know that it would be a complete nightmare.  He is 105 lbs of smart but stubborn Anatolian Shepherd with the instinct that he must absolutely know what is going on & be in complete control.  Add in the fact that he is a klutz would result in chaos and not much fishing getting done.  Plus he is a food wh**e, so he would most likely try to eat anything I caught.

 

Still, it would be interesting to have him along ... 

 

the dog loves it... he's my fishing compadre man... and has been since he was about 4 months old.

he is so used to it now that he just rides on the front of my kayak like he's the captain.  he doesn't even pay any attention to the fish, he loves to just stare over the side of the kayak and look down into the water for hours on end.  he also likes to go for a swim when you have a ball or something for him to fetch. 

and he never ever complains about how long we are out there, unlike the wife....

[tomustang]

Honesty. If you cant handle that you shouldn't date.

[Redlinerobert]

In before the lock.

[Cameron211]

I want everyone's man card, except Glenn, who told them straight up accept it or not. To the rest grow a pair now before you get married, it will save allot of hassle later. Jeez explain to a gf how I spend my money? It would have never crossed my mind.

Yeah but we all like to get "whoopie" every once in awhile too. Tread lightly lol. Sorry i put this a PG rated as i could lol

[Matthew2000]

Well it's not her money so she can't tell you what to do with it. She sounds like the type that has you pay for EVERYTHING. She should pay for her own shoes, that's ridclous that she wants you to stop doing you passion to buy her clothes. When your not even married.

[Redlinerobert]

[Hurricane]

Nothing beats the " what time are you going to be home" text message.. I tend to ignore that for a while and the reply with a " I don't know"..

[ColdSVT]

If you keep your mouth shut you wont have to lie....simple

[slonezp]

When she tells you to go fishing and leave her alone, you've won

[gardnerjigman]

My wife can be complicated at times, and the pissy meter can definitely start to peg if I start fishing a lot or spending a lot on stuff I don't technically "need", but over the years it pretty much translates to making sure I show her and make her feel like her and the kids are the number one thing in my life. If that means miss a fishing trip here and there to go out with her, or have a family day at the zoo, I can handle that. 

 

Way different scenario between how your are with a GF vs wife. The one common I would say is if you have to define it as "having to deal with", then their are probably problems ahead.