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  • Super User
Posted

lol why would i have to explain what i spend my money on?????? 

 

 

grow a pair

Posted

You just have to take her with you. All it will take is one fish on and she will be hooked. My wife now has her own rods and reels that she bought herself. It's always good to have things that you enjoy doing together. And if she's going with you she can't exactly complain about the money being spent...worked for me

  • Super User
Posted

She's a girlfriend. Not a financial manager. If she isn't happy with it, she has two choices, live it it and accept it or hit the road. I'm sure she has habits/hobbies/addictions that she spends money on and thinks nothing of it. Invite her to go with you. She might enjoy it. Offer to spend a day with her doing what she likes.

I'll never allow a girlfriend to tell me how and where I should spend my hard earned pesos. I told mine straight out front that I spend a lot of time on the water. Whether it's fishing, diving, or surfing, it ain't cheap. I make a conscious effort to include her as much as possible if she so desires. She's not big into fishing, and that's cool. She's more than happy hanging out on the saltwater boat getting a tan or landing an occasional fish. Freshwater, on the other hand just doesn't quite do it for her. When I explained to her that this is something I was born doing, this is something that all the men in my family have been doing for generations, that it won't be stopping, she made a choice to accept it.

You do still have to be responsible with spending as well. Make sure you don't blow what you can't afford to. Women all require money spent on them in some way, shape, or form.

  • Super User
Posted

Choosing to use the term "deal with" when discussing one's style of communicating with someone you're having a close relationship with, may indicate a much larger problem.

 

A-Jay

  • Like 5
  • Super User
Posted

^  could easily be mutual....the 'dealing with', that is  :)

 

Like I said  . . . . .

 

A-Jay

  • Super User
Posted

for all the guys saying you need to find one that fishes.... i respectfully disagree.

i LOVE the fact that fishing is my time!  my wife has gone a couple of times with me and though she liked catching more fish than i did, she was not "hooked" so to speak.  in my opinion, it is equally important to find things you can do separately as it is to find things to do together. once you have the respect for each other's hobbies or passions, you will learn to accept then foster their behavior towards those activities. 

Most important is just open honest communication NO MATTER WHAT.  if you ever feel the need to lie or be sneaky, you're either in the wrong or with the wrong person.

  • Like 4
  • Super User
Posted

for all the guys saying you need to find one that fishes.... i respectfully disagree.

i LOVE the fact that fishing is my time!  my wife has gone a couple of times with me and though she liked catching more fish than i did, she was not "hooked" so to speak.  in my opinion, it is equally important to find things you can do separately as it is to find things to do together. once you have the respect for each other's hobbies or passions, you will learn to accept then foster their behavior towards those activities. 

Most important is just open honest communication NO MATTER WHAT.  if you ever feel the need to lie or be sneaky, you're either in the wrong or with the wrong person.

 

Amen

Posted

I agree with RSM.  Your future ex-girlfriend doesn't get that kind of 'control'...not unless you give it to her.

 

Once married, I also agree that things are (and should be) different.  After you're married, I pass on some advice that I read some time ago and it makes a lot of sense and 'usually' works for us: you and your spouse pick an amount above which, all 'non-necessity' purchases should be discussed and agreed to; be it $50, or $100, or $1000...depending on your disposable income,your habits, etc.

 

x2

 

In a girlfriend situation, you shouldn't need to explain a d**n thing.  In a fiance/wife situation, things change.  You share a financial responsibility at that point.  My fiance and I are getting married at the end of May and we've been saving for the wedding/honeymoon and house.  She sees how hard I work, and I see how hard she works.  We agreed on a set value per month that we can each use to spend however we want. 

 

She enjoys spending time on the water with me.  She isnt wild about fishing, and doesnt understand my obsession with it, but she will sit on the back of the boat and read a book in the sun while I fish.  She also knows that the set amount we agreed to is less than what I usually spend on fishing per month, so she bought be a 6 month subscription to MTB starting this month.

 

Like I said though, she doesn't get to inquire about your spending until she takes your last name.

 

- Dale

Posted

Bought my wife a new car.

  • Super User
Posted

Above all, please know who your future wife may present herself as, however, there are never any guarantees. In the grand scheme of things, fishing related issues rank pretty low in my opinion..

Posted

I must admit that I have the ideal situation.

My wife travels during the week and works her butt off.

I fish all week while she is gone, and when she is home on weekends, I don't fish.

she is such a jewel, she pays for my equipment half the time.

Happy wife leads to happy life.

I make sure to not say no to her ideas and plans and treat her like the royalty she is.

In turn she spoils the hell out of me.

I think I'll keep her.

Posted

Heres the deal......I will NEVER lie to my wife. What I will do is skirt the truth as long as possible hahaha

 

My wife is a great woman. As long as bills are paid (on time) , savings continue to grow (cant take any money out of savings without an agreement) etc I can spend as much of my personal money as I want. She asks zero questions.

 

Also, my wife and children always come first. I dont care if the bite is the best in history, if my kids need their dad or my wife needs her husband im there no questions asked.

  • Super User
Posted

for all the guys saying you need to find one that fishes.... i respectfully disagree.

i LOVE the fact that fishing is my time!  my wife has gone a couple of times with me and though she liked catching more fish than i did, she was not "hooked" so to speak.  in my opinion, it is equally important to find things you can do separately as it is to find things to do together. once you have the respect for each other's hobbies or passions, you will learn to accept then foster their behavior towards those activities. 

Most important is just open honest communication NO MATTER WHAT.  if you ever feel the need to lie or be sneaky, you're either in the wrong or with the wrong person.

 

 

Can't agree enough with this.  Having my own personal quiet time that I don't have to babysit or worry about anything but the task at hand is a luxury of untold worth in and of itself.  The funny part is that I used to feel bad for getting up at 5 and not coming back until the afternoon or later but I've figured out that she really does enjoy her personal alone time too so it works for the both of us.

  • Super User
Posted

for all the guys saying you need to find one that fishes.... i respectfully disagree.

i LOVE the fact that fishing is my time!  my wife has gone a couple of times with me and though she liked catching more fish than i did, she was not "hooked" so to speak.  in my opinion, it is equally important to find things you can do separately as it is to find things to do together. once you have the respect for each other's hobbies or passions, you will learn to accept then foster their behavior towards those activities. 

Most important is just open honest communication NO MATTER WHAT.  if you ever feel the need to lie or be sneaky, you're either in the wrong or with the wrong person.

 

I suppose that depends on the individual.  I, for one, love to fish with my wife.  I also enjoy fishing with my dad and some of my pals.

Posted

Here's the deal. Actually, here's the speech I gave back when I was dating.  It went something like this:

 

 

So what happened?  I married a woman who loves fishing as much as I do!  Go figure!

 

I have seen that some guys support the idea of a GF or wife that is into fishing and then others the opposing. Personally, my fiancee is my very best fishing friend in life. Some know, and others don't, that I broke my leg in early March during a ice/snow storm here in KY. My leg was broken in five places total and it was the first time in my life that I was really dependent upon another person. Heather cared for me better any any nursing staff could have after my surgery,  all while taking care of her two wonderful kiddos and working her job as an instructor/social worker for court ordered parenting/divorce classes. With being off from work and the cold weather I became really depressed about not getting out of the house and missing the spawning action.

 

Heather took me out in a wheel chair to fish on two occasions and has taken me out 8-9 times since I have been on crutches. In those trips I have caught two nice fish and one of them was prob a personal best. With the crutches is was to easy to fall when trying to land fish and she has lipped every big fish I have caught in the last few weeks. One bedding bass was caught in some cattails and she literally had to get on her hands and knees to untangle the fish so it could be landed. She helps me in and out of the car, carries gear and takes the photos you have seen on here.

 

Guys I am so blessed to have a woman in my life who loves to fish like I do because I would have literally missed the best couple weeks of fishing that I have had in my bass fishing life. She went to Classic with me in Feb and has requested that we make plans to go to Tulsa next year for the Classic too. Just remember that you might be in a position where you need a fishing buddy that you also call your better half ...kinda get teary eyed thinking about it lol  :cry3:  

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Posted

I enjoy spending time with my wife, so I wish she enjoyed going fishing like KY-Anglers fiancee does.  She is a sport, has goes out on the boat with me occasionally, but doesn't fish.  She will land a fish if I hand her the rod after I have hooked one & will even hold it for a photo, but angling just isn't in her blood.  When she is on the boat, she just enjoys the sun and messes around on Facebook on her phone.  She said she enjoys going more if i am catching a lot of fish, she is the type of person who gets joy seeing other people accomplish things or win at stuff.

 

Like Mastr Baitr said above, I think she also enjoys alone time when I am gone fishing.  I just can't figure out why the UPS guy only shows up on the Saturdays that I am gone...   :)

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

Interesting.  Most seem to think the female in the relationship should "learn to deal with it".

 

Any less of an attitude than that indicates a man is henpecked.

 

It's a two way street.  At least it should be.

 

If you are unwilling to compromise, avoid any and all relationships. 

  • Like 7
  • Super User
Posted

In any relationship each person needs their own time, even in a marriage it is a union of two individuals losing the individuality is a bad thing.

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

I suppose that depends on the individual.  I, for one, love to fish with my wife.  I also enjoy fishing with my dad and some of my pals.

 

completely agree with you robert.  i'm just glad we can both enjoy our own things individually.  there is nothing i love more than fishing with my dad and brother.  we've been doing it together a long time and i hope it continues.  in fact, my wife and sister in law very much support the time that my dad, brother and I are able to spend together fishing.

i should have also been pretty clear that i actually really enjoyed fishing with the wife the few times she has gone, but she wasn't in to it as much as me so i would never pressure her to go.  but she can catch them pretty well......

 

MOST IMPORTANTLY ---  learn how to compromise

 

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