How To Deal With Girlfriends/wives?

[Mista bass]

So this year I've been spending much more then normal on fishing gear and the girlfriend finally saw the bill and wasn't too happy. I tried to tell her I'm going to win it all back in the tournaments but we all know that's not likely haha. So how do you explain your fishing purchases to your girlfriends and wives? Is there a special technique I can use for next time? Tight lines!

-matt

[gulfcaptain]

easy......ask her this "would you rather have me spending it every night in the bar or out fishing?"  There are much worse ways to spend your money then on fishing gear.  And if that fails, take her shopping and buy her some shoes.

[Mista bass]

easy......ask her this "would you rather have me spending it every night in the bar or out fishing?" There are much worse ways to spend your money then on fishing gear. And if that fails, take her shopping and by her some shoes.

Ha! I tried pulling the "your shoes cost as much as my reel" but it didn't go over well. I think I just need to get her into some fish.

[gulfcaptain]

Ha! I tried pulling the "your shoes cost as much as my reel" but it didn't go over well. I think I just need to get her into some fish.

Comparing your fishing equipment to her shoes didn't work very well did it?  IT NEVER WILL. Only thing that will get you is a night on the couch.  I suggested you go buy her shoes(with your money).  That way she feels like you're spending some money on her too, not just your fishing equipment.

[Glenn]

Here's the deal. Actually, here's the speech I gave back when I was dating.  It went something like this:

 

 

Look, I fish...A LOT.  No really, I mean A LOT.  Probably much more than you're thinking right now.  Thing is, it's who I am, not what I do.  It's part of my DNA. I've been doing it most my life.

So here's the thing.

If you want to try it, great.  If not, that's fine too.  You don't have to like it.  In fact, you can hate it.

However, what you cannot do, is tell me to stop doing it.  If you try to, we're going to have a major problem.

 

So what happened?  I married a woman who loves fishing as much as I do!  Go figure!

[Bigchunk]

Well i was in your shoes. Best solution is to ship it to fishing buddys house. Then aquire secret gear when you go out bassin. Worked for me the other day lol

[blackmax135]

Man there is no easy way around a women and not spending the money on her.  I'm lucky because my fiancé smokes and until she quits I can just about spend all the money I want if she can spend 1800 on cigarettes a year I can spend money on whatever I want.  Witch I much rather give up spending all I want than for her to keep smoking.  I'd tell her next time it comes up in a soft sweet voice; babe I can afford to purchase them items and it is something that is really going to make me a better fisherman and succeed in this great sport that I want to be involved in and I would love if you would get involved and enjoy it with me. I can buy you a nice pink reel and you will be the coolest girl on the lake!!! 

[retiredbosn]

I want everyone's man card, except Glenn, who told them straight up accept it or not. To the rest grow a pair now before you get married, it will save allot of hassle later. Jeez explain to a gf how I spend my money? It would have never crossed my mind.

[RSM789]

To a girlfriend, no explanation is required, in the same manner she does not need to justify to you how she spends her money.  It is a good thing for both of you to know the others spending & savings habits, but until you are married, whats yours is yours & what is hers is hers (usually).

 

Once married, it is a little different, depending on whether or not the spending habit was known before marriage (as in Glenn's case) or if it is detrimental to the family income.  In that case, the money is both of yours, how it gets spent is a mutual decision (even if it doesn't divide up equally).  If that isn't a situation you are comfortable with, keep her as a girlfriend and don't propose (or have kids).

[SirSnookalot]

To a girlfriend, no explanation is required, in the same manner she does not need to justify to you how she spends her money.  It is a good thing for both of you to know the others spending & savings habits, but until you are married, whats yours is yours & what is hers is hers (usually).

 

Once married, it is a little different, depending on whether or not the spending habit was known before marriage (as in Glenn's case) or if it is detrimental to the family income.  In that case, the money is both of yours, how it gets spent is a mutual decision (even if it doesn't divide up equally).  If that isn't a situation you are comfortable with, keep her as a girlfriend and don't propose (or have kids).

I share the same opinion as RSM 789.  Both people have the option of doing as they wish, there is no financial commitment in dating, nor does it always last a lifetime.

 

My wife is my queen.  She raised the children, goes to the market, prepares the family meals, takes care of the majority of the household duties, and worked outside the home as well.  A women's job isn't easy and financially less rewarding than many men.

My wife comes first, her purchases do not justify me buying anything.  Both my wife and myself are responsible with our finances, we don't have to ask permission.  We know what we can afford and what we can't.  

My wife earned my devotion, there isn't a fish to caught or a rod and reel to be had that comes before my wife.

[lecisnith]

Your significant other can't deny your passion. Regardless of whether or not you plan on tournament fishing, if it is something you really love to do and are responsible doing it, she is obligated to allow you to chase it. As long as you're able to keep up with household duties, "relationship duties", and don't spend the rent/mortgage on that special deal on 1,000 packs of senkos she shouldn't have a problem with it.

I got lucky, I was able to blame my habit on my wife. "Hey, you were the one that suggested we start fishing once in a while. I told you I was pretty obsessed with it when I was a kid and it would be easy to fall back into it." That's worked thus far.

[Master Bait'r]

I want everyone's man card, except Glenn, who told them straight up accept it or not. To the rest grow a pair now before you get married, it will save allot of hassle later. Jeez explain to a gf how I spend my money? It would have never crossed my mind.

Seriously. Don't hide it whatever you do. Let your flag fly high and if she has a problem with it discuss it head on. As far a I can see, this is me and this is what it takes to be me.

Thankfully my girl knows what I need to be happy, and she doesn't want to deal with me when I'm cranky either. She will say to me "Rough day huh? Want me to take care of dinner so you can hit the river?"

I love that girl. She gets me.

[Oregon Native]

If you have to justify things now it will probably get worse later.  If your living your life to please her....well that's your choice.  If your living lives to please each other and give each other 100% well that's a different road too and your fortunate.  I've got 43 years and it's been a lot of give and take and wouldn't of had it any other way....in fishing terms I got a keeper.  She doesn't fish.....she REALLY doesn't fish but does other stuff.  I REALLY love to fish and she appreciates that I have this passion.

Good Luck

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Well we both like to fish so it's not an issue. If you feel like you have to hide what you are doing then that's a problem. A relationship is built on trust and honesty. Not deception and deceit.

[BrianinMD]

So glad my wife doesn't care what I buy whether fishing gear or photography equipment. Between the two probably around 6k so far this year. We keep money separate so we don't have the little issues over money.

Also helps that she spends WAY more than me for her horses. Life is to short to worry about money. Cover you bills, save some for a rainy day otherwise enjoy life.

[Senko lover]

Simple. Tell her Babe, I'll stop spending money on fishing stuff when you stop buying shoes/dresses/jewelry.

And then if she really does stop, find something else that she's buying. Not that there's really any chance of a girl stopping buying jewelry.

[Siebert Outdoors]

My wife never says anything about it.  She also loves to fish so she knows if I buy something she can use it also.

[Matthew2000]

Simple. Tell her Babe, I'll stop spending money on fishing stuff when you stop buying shoes/dresses/jewelry.

And then if she really does stop, find something else that she's buying. Not that there's really any chance of a girl stopping buying jewelry.

Good luck with that. I will pray for whoever takes that advice.

[clayton86]

I had a similar situation a few weeks ago when my GF and her son met me at the river while I was fishing.

Her son was begging to fish and I had two set ups with me and she said " why can't he use that one" pointing to my revo preimer bc on my 7'1" villain rod with a pointer tied on. I chuckled and said no that there are grown men who can't use them reels and her 6 year old was not to touch it. So then came the "ok use the one your using" and after a a little debate and me saying I have to cast it then I'll hand it to the little guy we agreed and I casted for him and handed it over.

Now he's using my spinning outfit which was a veritas with a premier spinning on it and I was drifting nipper jigs for trout so when I handed it to him I had the bail open. Well he slams the bail shut using the handle which made me cringe then starting from the second guide from the tip smashed every guide down to the reel across the railing they have at this spot to keep people out of the water. I just about jumped out of my skin. Didn't yell didn't freak out politely asked for my pole explained what NOT to do and casted it again for him.

Little guy was happy gf was happy I was less then thrilled. Standing there she made a comment and some how the value of said rods and reels and the pointer came up and she looked at me and said " well you don't have to fish that way or buy that kind of stuff" partially correct in the fact I don't HAVE to to buy high end equipment but I like it and I provide for my family and our family(since I live with her now and we're having a kid together) bills all get paid and I bust my arse at work I can afford things for her and myself so I buy nice equipment.

But she got the look and she knew I wasn't gonna give up my fishing habits and I to explained sorta like Glenn did that it's in my blood the spot we were at was behind my parents old house when they were together my dad had me there fishing at 6Mo with a snoopy pole tucked in my stroller with me so it's pretty much safe to say I've been fishing my whole life and i won't stop till I'm dead....maybe

Then I told her a big fat windy when I said "plus babe I build my rods now remember so I don't have to buy these expensive rods I just build custom ones to save money" she bought it idk how considering she got me the rod building start up kit and has seen the bill for some of the builds I've done lol.

[Choporoz]

I agree with RSM.  Your future ex-girlfriend doesn't get that kind of 'control'...not unless you give it to her.

 

Once married, I also agree that things are (and should be) different.  After you're married, I pass on some advice that I read some time ago and it makes a lot of sense and 'usually' works for us: you and your spouse pick an amount above which, all 'non-necessity' purchases should be discussed and agreed to; be it $50, or $100, or $1000...depending on your disposable income,your habits, etc.

[Master Bait'r]

Simple. Tell her Babe, I'll stop spending money on fishing stuff when you stop buying shoes/dresses/jewelry.

And then if she really does stop, find something else that she's buying. Not that there's really any chance of a girl stopping buying jewelry.

My gf could not care less about sparkly things. The only jewelry she wears was made from stones we prospected ourselves.

[F14A-B]

Dude! Stop worrying about your "shop buddy's" and now this "girlfriend".. If you want to fret, then put your parents at the top of the list. I'd be more concerned about focusing on my career than trying to explain my spending habits to anyone, with the exception of my parents. ( being you graduated college & your folks likely assisted you)

Good luck!

[Felix77]

I'm lucky ... I found fishing after having a wife and kids.  It's my escape and now my passion.  She supports it as long as I don't sacrifice my responsibilities as a father/husband to make it happen.  I get to fish a lot!  I drag my kids if they want to come.  So far my little one is the only one who has the bug.

[buzzed bait]

Just like every other issue, you lay it all out up front.  If you hide it, it's only a matter of time before it unravels.  The only way i can imagine this would be a conversation is you didn't have enough money to do all the other things you need/want to do.  What i spend on fishing is extra income that in no way interferes with my bills, savings, etc.  This makes it a void topic for debate.

[F14A-B]

This makes it a void topic for debate.

Good points, except wives & girlfriends often prefer to argue about "void topics" in my experience, lol !