Big C Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 All the one-liners I thought of had more than one line. One time a guy got caught with something illegal in his pocket and proceeded to tell the policeman "These aren't my pants." Or the classic " I don't know how that could have gotten there." Quote
Super User RoLo Posted March 9, 2015 Super User Posted March 9, 2015 Detergent commercials often tout their ability to remove bloodstains from a shirt, but if you have bloodstains on your shirt, laundry is probably the least of your problems. 3 Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted March 9, 2015 Super User Posted March 9, 2015 Detergent commercials often tout their ability to remove bloodstains from a shirt, but if you have bloodstains on your shirt, laundry might be the least of your problems. Especially if it comes with a couple of bullet holes . . . . . A-Jay 1 Quote
Super User Lund Explorer Posted March 9, 2015 Super User Posted March 9, 2015 The best one liner I've heard came from Tony Beets on the Gold Rush series. Upon finally getting his gold dredge operating, and seeing gold in the pan said, "This is the most fun I've had with my clothes on." Amazingly, that is probably the only one liner Tony utters all year on that show that doesn't include a "bleep" or two! Quote
Super User .ghoti. Posted March 11, 2015 Super User Posted March 11, 2015 I didn't attend his funeral, but I did send a nice note saying I was in favor of it. Quote
Super User .ghoti. Posted March 11, 2015 Super User Posted March 11, 2015 Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Quote
Super User Scott F Posted March 11, 2015 Super User Posted March 11, 2015 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. 2 Quote
Super User Scott F Posted March 11, 2015 Super User Posted March 11, 2015 Time flies like an arrow.......Fruit flies like a banana. Quote
Super User RoLo Posted March 15, 2015 Super User Posted March 15, 2015 The hardest part of being a Bartender is figuring out who's drunk, and who's just stupid! Roger Quote
Super User slonezp Posted March 15, 2015 Super User Posted March 15, 2015 Another from Tony Beets when asked why he allows his kids to do the dangerous work "Because if the kids get killed on the job I won't get sued" Quote
Super User RoLo Posted March 16, 2015 Super User Posted March 16, 2015 I'm going to DOUBLE the biggest tip you ever got It was $50 sir....Okay here's $100...BTW who tipped you $50......It was you sir Quote
Dockhead Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." -Groucho Marx Quote
CRANKENSTIEN Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing unknown Quote
Super User F14A-B Posted March 16, 2015 Super User Posted March 16, 2015 Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character. Heraclitus Quote
Super User bigbill Posted March 16, 2015 Super User Posted March 16, 2015 Put a fork in me I'm done. "Me" Get off my lawn, Clint Eastwood Did I fire five? or six rounds? This could be your lucky day punk. Dirty Harry aka Clint Eastwood. Quote
Super User RoLo Posted March 19, 2015 Super User Posted March 19, 2015 Rugby is a sport played by men with odd-shaped balls Roger 1 Quote
Super User Ratherbfishing Posted March 20, 2015 Super User Posted March 20, 2015 If you ignore your rights long enough, eventually they will go away. (bumper sticker) Quote
long island basser Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Another bumber sticker, Caution: I brake for hallucinations. Quote
papajoe222 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. Quote
Super User Lund Explorer Posted March 20, 2015 Super User Posted March 20, 2015 Bumper stickers? "Don't laugh at my truck - You're daughter might be in it!" Quote
Super User everythingthatswims Posted March 20, 2015 Super User Posted March 20, 2015 "If your friends tell you that you fish too much, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life." 1 Quote
AQUA VELVA Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 '' I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member.'' Groucho Marx Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted March 21, 2015 Super User Posted March 21, 2015 "You know you're old when your underwear starts looking like a used coffee filter". ~ Emerson . . .Bubba Emerson A-Jay 1 Quote
Super User F14A-B Posted March 21, 2015 Super User Posted March 21, 2015 Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye. Quote
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