Thornback Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I have never been fired but a few companies cut off my pay so I quit. Quote
Super User RoLo Posted June 25, 2015 Super User Posted June 25, 2015 You've gotta feel sorry for people who don't drink, when they get up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day Quote
Super User Lund Explorer Posted June 25, 2015 Super User Posted June 25, 2015 "I must have killed more people than Cecil B. DeMille." Gene Wilder as The Waco Kid - Blazing Saddles Quote
Thornback Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 "There's enough n*****s out there to make a Tarzan movie". -- Fred Sanford, aka, Redd Foxx Quote
tater555 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 "She ain't a lady if she ain't 280" "Your a** Is grass and I'm the mother ******* lawnmower" Quote
LuckyGia Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Flip of a coin Tails I get head Heads I get tail 2 Quote
gobig Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 "1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS." - Ron Paul "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand "To the victors belong the spoils." - Andrew Jackson "One man with courage makes a majority." - Andrew Jackson Quote
hatrix Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 I was thinking the same thing. "You wanna earn 14 dollars the hard way?" "What time you due back in Boys Town?" I don't think the heavy stuff is going to come down for quite a while. Quote
fish-fighting-illini Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 These are movie quotes so not quite the same.... Sleezy uncle Michael Douglass to his parentless nephew- "What's the matter son did you get you get her to the coat check room and find out she had a ten pin up her skirt?" Robin Williams when he screwed up in Good Morning Vietnam. If I make a boneheaded blunder I use this line to myself - "This won't look good on a resume!" Quote
Super User Master Bait'r Posted July 13, 2015 Super User Posted July 13, 2015 "I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Alan Greenspan Man I love that quote. Quote
Catch 22 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Flip of a coin Tails I get head Heads I get tail Quote
Super User RoLo Posted July 14, 2015 Super User Posted July 14, 2015 An elevator smells different to a midget. Roger 2 Quote
Swamp Gas Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor. Quote
Hanover_Yakker Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and thermonuclear war. Quote
Thornback Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Ain't no one monkey can stop the show -- Dad, referring to people who quit their job and think they will be missed. Put your hand in a bucket of water and then withdraw it. The hole in the water is relative to how much you will be missed when you quit your job -- Dad 1 Quote
Thornback Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Her a** stuck out so far you could set a clothes basket on it.-- Store owner in SC talking about an obese woman after she left his store. Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted July 20, 2015 Super User Posted July 20, 2015 If Plan A didn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters ~ Stay Cool and Try Again. A-Jay Quote
Super User RoLo Posted August 1, 2015 Super User Posted August 1, 2015 A really fat girl was dancing on a tabletop. I said, "Wow, those are some legs!". She said: "Ya really think so?" I said "Yup, most tables would've collapsed by now". Roger 1 Quote
Catch 22 Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 Jr Samples on Hee Haw paying compliment to his girl "well, for a fat girl you don`t sweat very much" Doc ,it hurts when I do that ======doc "well then don`t do that." Broke my leg in three places ===guess I should stay outta those places My late uncle===soon as I get this one I`m after plus one more, I`ll have two My late uncle===I`m gonna get me some false teeth and if they start acheing, I`ll just take them out,sit`em on the table and let them sob`s ache til they stop Quote
Big C Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 "We may have to be neighbors, but I don't have to be neighborly." -John Wayne Quote
Super User F14A-B Posted August 1, 2015 Super User Posted August 1, 2015 Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid. The Duke.. Quote
Thornback Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 The reason some people work like a horse is because their boss rides them -- Gabriel Heatter Quote
Super User RoLo Posted August 10, 2015 Super User Posted August 10, 2015 Boy, the economy is in rough shape! Last week I got a letter from an unknown bank informing me that I was "pre-declined" for a credit card. Today I got a check back marked "Insufficient Funds". Tomorrow I've got to find out whether that means Me or Them Roger Quote
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