Help A Shy Guy Out

[Jolly Green]

I once read an article about Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild. His initial approach to every girl whom he intends to persuade to Go Wild: "Hey, you want a free T-shirt?"  So in a universe where that can happen, "Hi, I'm Wyatt" should be fine for you.  And don't say "Hi, I'm Wyatt" to just that one girl.  Say it to every single pretty girl you meet from now on until you're dead or married, after either of which you're on your own, son.

[Bluebasser86]

I've always been what most people probably consider to be shy. In reality I like to listen to people to try to get a feel for them before I speak or attempt to talk to them. I couldn't be shy in my line of work, it's just impossible, but talking too much can certainly get you in trouble. It's a lot like talking to a girl, you can't let yourself be completely silent and hope the situation works out, but you don't want to go rambling on like an idiot either. 

 

I think you have kind of the right idea, girls love compliments, but maybe not quite as strong as "you're beautiful". Compliment her clothes, if she's reading ask her about her book, if she's listening to music ask her what she's listening to. Have a plan after the ice breaker too, you can't just ask what books she's reading and if it's any good because if she just says "Yeah" and nothing else it going to get awkward really fast. Opening with a tasteful joke or a neat trick to make her laugh or impress her would be good ideas too. 

 

I liked a girl in my senior year of highschool and waited until I had almost graduated before I told her. Turned out she'd liked me the whole time but was too shy to tell me. You never know unless you put it out there. 

[deaknh03]

You never said if she has a boyfriend. You might want to scout that info. If she is seeing some one. Find out if he is bigger then you. If he is not open season. In reality I would find a new woman. A few minutes of fun. Is not worth a butt kicking, or worst.

If she is single. You must approach her like shes a deer. Woman spook very easily. Do not run towards her. Screaming and beating you chest. Other wise you might get tased or maced. Also smile when approaching her. Make so you do nor have the creap smile.

Once you have made first contact. Speak words she can under stand. No grunting. That means compelete sentences. They can under stand us. We can not under stand them. Also talk to her like a real person. Not like she is one of your buddy's. We talk different to them.

Now that your are talking to her. You have to use your manners. The ones your mother taught you. Not the ones dad taught you. So no picking your nose. Then flicking the boogers across the room. Try not to burp or fart. As fun as that is to do. Woman do not find that funny. If she is gifted up top. Keep in eye contact at all times. Also keep your hand visble to her at all time. Other wise she might think your a creap.

One more thing. Make sure you are some what groomed and clean. Smell and look like you know what a shower is.

In the end be your self. Show some confidence in your self. Not to munch though. In the end she might like you. Even if you do not win her over. It is practice for the next time.

Sounds like a lot of trial and error you went thru.. I think I'd rather be shy.

[Fishing Cop]

One thing is for sure, she already knows she is beautiful. If you tell her, she may think, "here it comes again", and think you are another creep in her life. Just start a normal conversation. She probably don't get that much. 

[dave]

Hi,  I'm Wyatt sounds like the best option.  Let her take it from there...

[mrmacwvu1]

Hit the gym. The better you feel about yourself other things will come.

When you leave the house always be dressed nicely, you never know when you will meet the love of your life.

Be clean cut, you can always pick up trash looking like trash, but to get someone classy one needs to be classy themselves.

Smile and be positive. Happy people want to be around happy people. Even if your are not the happiest at the moment, fake it till you make it.

Remember the chase is almost as fun as the catch. Take your time and do it right and the rewards tend to be greater.

Never be afraid to talk to the most beautiful woman in the room. Often times they are overlooked because people like you are to afraid to talk to them.

If your heart is pure and your intentions are noble nobody is out of your league.

[buzzed bait]

the one thing that nobody is saying here is no matter what you do, make sure it's the real you.  the worst thing to do is put on some front with a girl, things start going well and then you or they realize it was a front. 

 

and as over quoted as it may be, it's true every time you read it:

 

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
-Michael Jordan

[Choporoz]

Go fishing instead.  You'll thank me later.  

 

 

A largemouth won't cry if you call it a striper.
It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
Fish don't care how many other fish you caught.
Fish are real happy if when you're done you just go home.
Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week - Is fishing all You ever think about!"
Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.
If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.

A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.
You can take home more than one fish per night.
You feel proud to be seen with a big fat fish.
Fish are happy when you throw them back.
Fish only have very short memories.
You can boast about your fish down the bar.
Fish don't talk about your tackle with their friends.
They give you a good night’s entertainment and dinner next day.

A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.

[Catch and Grease]

I'm dying ahhaha^

[tipptruck1]

Sounds like a lot of trial and error you went thru.. I think I'd rather be shy.

Not trial and error. Just me being a smart ass.

[KritterGitter]

One thing is for sure, she already knows she is beautiful. If you tell her, she may think, "here it comes again", and think you are another creep in her life. Just start a normal conversation. She probably don't get that much. 

This without a doubt, simple easy and to the point. My wife loved the fact that when we first talked I complimented her bubbly personality (cheesy I know, but it was the truth) and the fact that I didn't say anything about her appearance ( she was and is dang beautiful) but she really respected that. She is just a person, just like you, maybe even shyer (sp?) so ya gotta take the plunge... worst case scenario she says no, even then she might have single and looking friends......

 

Oh and get a puppy, chics love puppies....

[tipptruck1]

Oh and get a puppy, chics love puppies....

That is very true.

[tomustang]

P.S.  Chicks just adore guys who are such good listeners!

Friend zone, lol

[tomustang]

     I've encountered a dilemma and I've made my decision to turn to my second family, the lovely people of Bassresource.  Growing up I've always been defined as two ways: the first, being "shy", the second, being "stuck-up." Out of those two I define myself as shy, not stuck-up because I don't hold myself higher than anyone.  If anything, I tend to put others before myself and I think their a better person than who I am.  So, shy has become my "title."  I really don't like it, though, because I'm actually a very outgoing person.  The only reason I'm defined as shy is because of my fears, which are self-disappointment and the lack of confidence.

    The fear of self-disappointment stems from childhood. Everything I did as a child I was the best at the particular task.  No matter what, I was the best, no joke. As I grew up, others soon became better and I always challenged myself to be the best.  Most of the time I would succeed, however, when I failed, I would be devastated because it was unnatural for me.  The fear of failing makes me not want to try anything new, even though I really want too.  

    The confidence issue probably comes because of 6th grade.  In 6th grade during study hall there were about five other students in the class with the homeroom teacher.  We were all talking and then the 7th grade science teacher walked in and said to me, "When did your voice get so deep?"

     I just looked at him confused and didn't know what to say, but the homeroom teacher did.  He said, "What are you talking about? He's still a little squeaker!"  They laughed a lot.

    This killed me on the inside because I was the tallest in the grade and was expected to be the most mature.  That lead me to talk in a much deeper tone, as some put it now, unnaturally deep, or even god status.  That event was terrible because all through high school people would just laugh at me when I talk.  Over the years I tried to talk with my normal voice, I just couldn't though.  This results in me being able to talk normal at my house with my family, just when I go out, I can't.  I hardly ever talk now because I know what's coming... I'm also not the fittest guy which plays a part in my confidence...

    When I don't talk, I think about what to say.  I'm now what people would consider awkward in conversation because I just don't know what to talk about, let alone, what to say to a person I've never met. 

    With the fear of self-disappointment and the lack in confidence, my dilemma is a tough one.  I'm a freshman at my local technical college, everyone commutes, and hardly anyone talks, which you think would be a good fit for me.  Only, I want to be more outgoing but I fear what people will think.  I know I shouldn't care what people say, but human nature says otherwise.  So, the problem.  I never really talked to many people so my conversation skills are probably sub-par, but there's this girl in my Cultural Anthropology class that is really pretty.  I don't think anyone else notices her because she appears to be shy just based off her body language.  She also does not talk.  I want to tell her shes beautiful, I just don't want to come off as a weirdo seeing that I've never talked to her.  With, what I consider, my terrible social skills I think intensely before I talk, and I've came up with what I would call an ice-breaker, but to the common folk, probably strange. Here it is, "I don't know if it's weird to say this because I've never said anything like this before and I don't want to weird you out, but I just wanted to say, you are really beautiful."  

    For all you that are more experienced, is that strange?  Or is a simple, "Hi, I'm Wyatt," better?  I'm not really looking to get into a conversation... At least not yet...

 

 

You have under 70 posts on here and you started shedding your personal life. I wouldn't say you're shy at all. There goes your excuse

[Incognito]

You have under 70 posts on here and you started shedding your personal life. I wouldn't say you're shy at all. There goes your excuse

     From what I've read and posted already, I can see that Bassresource is a truly connected community and looks out for all members.  I trust you guys.

[Incognito]

I've always been what most people probably consider to be shy. In reality I like to listen to people to try to get a feel for them before I speak or attempt to talk to them. I couldn't be shy in my line of work, it's just impossible, but talking too much can certainly get you in trouble. It's a lot like talking to a girl, you can't let yourself be completely silent and hope the situation works out, but you don't want to go rambling on like an idiot either. 

 

I think you have kind of the right idea, girls love compliments, but maybe not quite as strong as "you're beautiful". Compliment her clothes, if she's reading ask her about her book, if she's listening to music ask her what she's listening to. Have a plan after the ice breaker too, you can't just ask what books she's reading and if it's any good because if she just says "Yeah" and nothing else it going to get awkward really fast. Opening with a tasteful joke or a neat trick to make her laugh or impress her would be good ideas too. 

 

I liked a girl in my senior year of highschool and waited until I had almost graduated before I told her. Turned out she'd liked me the whole time but was too shy to tell me. You never know unless you put it out there. 

     I also like hearing what people say to get a better feel for the person they are before I try to communicate.  You seem a lot like me, man.

[tomustang]

     From what I've read and posted already, I can see that Bassresource is a truly connected community and looks out for all members.  I trust you guys.

 

Maybe you should have one of the guys here date this girl and give you a report about her

[Incognito]

     Missed two opportunities today...  Before class I waited in the lounge area.  I waited and I waited.  I waited for her until I could no longer.  I went to class and she rolls in pretty much as the class started.  After class I got up and was walking toward her when a heavy classmate stood up in front of me.  You would think a simple directional change would result in passing the obstruction;however, I sit in an area I call the "funnel."  Only one person can fit through at a time and the chance was lost... After my last class of the day,  I saw her sitting and talking to her friends and thought it'd be best to wait until next Tuesday. 

[tipptruck1]

Maybe you should have one of the guys here date this girl and give you a report about her

AS a fellow cheese head. I will bite the bullet on this one. As long as shes 18.

[SPEEDBEAD.]

Here's what worked for me....

 

I asked if she wanted to go for a ride on my Harley then I licked my eyebrows.

 

Next month is 10 years with the Mrs. #win 

[mod479]

 Here it is, "I don't know if it's weird to say this because I've never said anything like this before and I don't want to weird you out, but I just wanted to say, you are really beautiful."  

    For all you that are more experienced, is that strange?  Or is a simple, "Hi, I'm Wyatt," better?  I'm not really looking to get into a conversation... At least not yet...

 

NO. First of all, do not self sabotage. By indicating your interest in her might be "weird"...thats the best way to make her think you are indeed strange. Its not weird for a guy to be into a girl. Get that crap outta yer head before you even walk over to her.

 

Your 2nd error is that you want to only say hello upon first making contact and then proceed to walk away and not have a conversation...lol man, this is the biggest issue I can see besides your lack of confidence. You need to be able to make small talk with this chick before you walk away, or shes gonna think you're.............WEIRD.

[mod479]

There's so many women out there....you simply cannot get bent outta shape if shes not interestedn when you man up. If she dont want the attention, walk away, dont freak out, dont start crying. Just move on to the next. Her own state of mind at that time will dictate her response to you showing your interest. If shes into you, she's yours to lose regardless of what you do.  

[tipptruck1]

There's so many women out there....you simply cannot get bent outta shape if shes not interestedn when you man up. If she dont want the attention, walk away, dont freak out, dont start crying. Just move on to the next. Her own state of mind at that time will dictate her response to you showing your interest. If shes into you, she's yours to lose regardless of what you do.  

I will add to this. Just because she shows zero interest in you today. Doesn't mean she wont approach you at a later date.

[mrmacwvu1]

Here's what worked for me....

 

I asked if she wanted to go for a ride on my Harley then I licked my eyebrows.

 

Next month is 10 years with the Mrs. #win 

I tried that with a Honda and touched my nose. Happily divorced for a year.

[Brian6428]

Know what is worse than any amount of shyness, social anxiety or any of that? Regret. Do you wanna look back in 1 year and regret not talking to her? Of course not. 

 

Just go talk to her. It will take a lot of courage, but just be confident and do it. What is the worst that can happen? She doesn't seem like she wants to talk and you go back to calking to your buddy about fishing?

 

Just start with "Hi, I'm Wyatt"

 

Good luck, let us know how it goes.