Father Surfaced After 55 Years

[Skeeter Dan]

I faced another situation like this in the 80's. My grand Mother passed and we were at the funneral home when my mothers older sister introduce me to one of my 1st cousins that I had never met. He was about five years younger than me. He's one of my mothers brothers sons that my uncle had not seen since my cousin was a baby. My cousin came up to me and aske me who that man? He was pointing at his father . I said you don't know? He said no! I hesitated to say anything and thought about my son that I was looking for and I turned to him and said thats you father. He walked off not saying anything. After about 30 min. he came back and ask me to introduce him to his father. They stayed intouch with each other until my uncle passed away. You never know whats going to comes out of these situations. Some time the desire to know brings us to a new place in our life.

[scrutch]

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

There have been many generations of men who, in their youth, found it more interesting to do their own thing and forget about raising kids. Only to get older and wiser and realize the damage they caused by their selfishness many years earlier. Many wish they could rewind and pour their lives into those children all over again, but obviously that isn't possible. The next best thing is to reconnect, and try to restore some of that relationship. Sadly, many are either too proud or too scared to apologize. And equally sadly, many children are too deeply scarred and hurt to be able to open up to that type of relationship again.

So IMHO, to all the fathers and children who go through this...

Fathers, swallow your pride and apologize.

Children, be strong and realize that your father would probably give his right arm just to hug you and tell you he's sorry.

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

[Skeeter Dan]

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

There have been many generations of men who, in their youth, found it more interesting to do their own thing and forget about raising kids. Only to get older and wiser and realize the damage they caused by their selfishness many years earlier. Many wish they could rewind and pour their lives into those children all over again, but obviously that isn't possible. The next best thing is to reconnect, and try to restore some of that relationship. Sadly, many are either too proud or too scared to apologize. And equally sadly, many children are too deeply scarred and hurt to be able to open up to that type of relationship again.

So IMHO, to all the fathers and children who go through this...

Fathers, swallow your pride and apologize.

Children, be strong and realize that your father would probably give his right arm just to hug you and tell you he's sorry.

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

Amen Been there done that!!!!!!!!!!

[Lund Explorer]

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

There have been many generations of men who, in their youth, found it more interesting to do their own thing and forget about raising kids. Only to get older and wiser and realize the damage they caused by their selfishness many years earlier. Many wish they could rewind and pour their lives into those children all over again, but obviously that isn't possible. The next best thing is to reconnect, and try to restore some of that relationship. Sadly, many are either too proud or too scared to apologize. And equally sadly, many children are too deeply scarred and hurt to be able to open up to that type of relationship again.

So IMHO, to all the fathers and children who go through this...

Fathers, swallow your pride and apologize.

Children, be strong and realize that your father would probably give his right arm just to hug you and tell you he's sorry.

It is NEVER too late for reconciliation.

 

Sometimes it is.

 

A family I have known for many years had a situation that falls into the category of the absentee father that I would like to tell you about.  A young couple divorced after five years of a marriage that had created three children.  After the divorce, and even though the two parents lived within 30 miles of each other, the father broke off all contact with his children.  Never paid a penny in child support until taken to court, never bought any of his children a birthday or Christmas present.  Not even a single phone call. This completely self-absorbed man walked around town like he never even knew these children existed.

 

Twelve years later, when the mother was having serious issues with the oldest son, she contacted the father in a last desperate hope that he would help the boy.  A little over one year later, she came home to find that this young man had hung himself.  His name was William.  He couldn't cope with the fact that the man who helped bring him into this world, could abandon him so completely.  No amount of love and attention given to this child from others could heal the pain he felt.  Even though his name is so close to a certain comedian that took his live too, this young man didn't garner all of the same remorse he did.  Even though in my mind, he should have.

 

So yeah, it can be too late.

 

In my honest opinion, it becomes too late the minute a parent decides that their life is more important than the ones they created, no matter how long that decision lasts.  The truth is that there are children who are abandoned in homes where both parents still live.  I will agree that absentee parents should make the effort to get back in their children's lives, but I think the more important lesson is that these so called adults should make the choice to put their kids first long before they unzip! 

[scrutch]

Sometimes it is.

A family I have known for many years had a situation that falls into the category of the absentee father that I would like to tell you about. A young couple divorced after five years of a marriage that had created three children. After the divorce, and even though the two parents lived within 30 miles of each other, the father broke off all contact with his children. Never paid a penny in child support until taken to court, never bought any of his children a birthday or Christmas present. Not even a single phone call. This completely self-absorbed man walked around town like he never even knew these children existed.

Twelve years later, when the mother was having serious issues with the oldest son, she contacted the father in a last desperate hope that he would help the boy. A little over one year later, she came home to find that this young man had hung himself. His name was William. He couldn't cope with the fact that the man who helped bring him into this world, could abandon him so completely. No amount of love and attention given to this child from others could heal the pain he felt. Even though his name is so close to a certain comedian that took his live too, this young man didn't garner all of the same remorse he did. Even though in my mind, he should have.

So yeah, it can be too late.

In my honest opinion, it becomes too late the minute a parent decides that their life is more important than the ones they created, no matter how long that decision lasts. The truth is that there are children who are abandoned in homes where both parents still live. I will agree that absentee parents should make the effort to get back in their children's lives, but I think the more important lesson is that these so called adults should make the choice to put their kids first long before they unzip!

I agree. In that context is was definitely too late.

In the context of a father WANTING to make amends, and the son is faced with a decision to allow it, it is never too late. We should all be open for forgiveness. The less someone deserves forgiveness the more noble (and more difficult) it is when forgiveness is given.

Most of that can be avoided if more people take the advice provided by Lund Explorer!