Super User clayton86 Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 When you find that special some one who knows how to make your life complete hell sucking the life right out of you. I married said person and had kids with her. Many of you know the situation from my deployment and my wife cheating. Well we split when I got home after a few weeks of trying to work threw it. Few months went by she got knocked up the father bounced back to Puerto Rico never to be heard from again and I took my wife and my then unborn daughter that I now love and treat like one of my own. Well I've finally about had enough she has made my life compete hell. I don't enjoy anything I used to love like fishing for example I can't go with out getting accused of being else where. I've been trying to work things out for the kids and "do the right thing" but a man can only take so much. I came home from kayaking today and the women came right up and started inspecting my neck and chest for hickys and my back for scratch marks. It's just getting ridiculous and this is the women who had another mans kid while married to me and she is accusing me. We fight and argue daily about getting divorced I'm always the one fighting to hold it together but honestly I have forgot why now. I have never felt so dead inside like I find enjoyment in nothing anymore I have become a ***** to everyone. Today I think was the last straw being examined for marks and called home after 3 hours of fishing to clean the litter box and told I could go back out and then we know how that goes I never got back out. There are a million other things but I won't get into that here but I'm seriously about had enough and want to pack my bags and move out and figure out the custody of the kids later as much as I want to just pack them and take with me. Quote
Super User slonezp Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Stick with your gut this time. Contact an attorney and find out legally the correct way to approach this. Good luck Quote
Super User clayton86 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Super User Posted June 30, 2014 There's no gut feeling about her doing anything I'm just fed up with being miserable and accused of cheating when well my youngest kid isn't even mine lol. Quote
Global Moderator Bluebasser86 Posted June 30, 2014 Global Moderator Posted June 30, 2014 Sounds to me like pulling the plug would be the right thing to do for everyone. I know that doesn't make it any easier to do though. Quote
Super User Fishes in trees Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Question : Why do divorces cost so much? Answer : Because they are worth it. 2 Quote
Super User BrianinMD Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 There is only one person in the world who can make you happy and that is you. Life cannot be spent being miserable. Some people will say to stay together for the kids, but they forget kids see the unhappiness. It is not fair to them to make them live that way either. Make a happy life for yourself and be there for them. 1 Quote
Super User Hi Salenity Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Tell her to kick rocks! Quote
speed craw Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 When you have had enough then drug through a briar patch its done . You might just want to lay down and take a break and take some you time to get things straight . By all means do the right thing , with the right steps . You have to live your life and be happy sometimes its not always planned out like they way you had thought . Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Interesting. Apparently, I missed something as I have been under the impression that after the last fiasco you had already separated yourself from this human. When a man continues to follow the same path but expects the scenery to change, he is usually disappointed. A-Jay 1 Quote
Super User clayton86 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Interesting. Apparently, I missed something as I have been under the impression that after the last fiasco you had already separated yourself from this human. When a man continues to follow the same path but expects the scenery to change, he is usually disappointed. A-Jay We were separated for 8 months after the whole ordeal and I had the boys. I picked up 2 months of extra/active duty since I wasn't making money roofing in the rain and the extra mission was available. Well since I was gone for 2 months the kids went back to her and we worked things out and have been back together since. Things were better for maybe 2 months and now it's just me fighting to keep a marriage together for the kids. Quote
Super User NorcalBassin Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Wow, I was with A-Jay on this one and didn't realize you were back together. The saddest thing is she's ultraparanoid you're going to do what she's already done to you and subsequently ruining the undeserved second chance you gave her. In business there's a saying, "What you permit you promote" and I'd say the same exact thing carries over to a marriage, parenting, and pretty much everything else in life. If you allow her to check you for all of those ridiculous "signs" of cheating, you're promoting her to continue doing so. If you want to give your marriage one last last chance, then I'd encourage you to calmly and respectively let her know what is acceptable and what is not. If she doesn't agree to trust you or violates your pact, then it may be time to go... Quote
Super User clayton86 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Wow, I was with A-Jay on this one and didn't realize you were back together. The saddest thing is she's ultraparanoid you're going to do what she's already done to you and subsequently ruining the undeserved second chance you gave her. In business there's a saying, "What you permit you promote" and I'd say the same exact thing carries over to a marriage, parenting, and pretty much everything else in life. If you allow her to check you for all of those ridiculous "signs" of cheating, you're promoting her to continue doing so. If you want to give your marriage one last last chance, then I'd encourage you to calmly and respectively let her know what is acceptable and what is not. If she doesn't agree to trust you or violates your pact, then it may be time to go... Yeah I told her today that I didn't know how much more I could take and that checking me over was ridiculous and had to stop. I'm now a POS and apparently have a gf which is news to me because I don't know who she is lol. I just want to fish once a week with out hassle and a headache caused by anything but non biting fish is that to much to ask. Quote
Super User Raul Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 When you find that special some one who knows how to make your life complete hell sucking the life right out of you. Yup I´ve met that special person, she´s my sister. Quote
Super User deaknh03 Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 Yup I´ve met that special person, she´s my sister. Are you originally from Alabama? 4 Quote
Super User Jigfishn10 Posted June 30, 2014 Super User Posted June 30, 2014 There is only one person in the world who can make you happy and that is you. Life cannot be spent being miserable. Some people will say to stay together for the kids, but they forget kids see the unhappiness. It is not fair to them to make them live that way either. Make a happy life for yourself and be there for them. Couldn't agree with BrianinMD more. I do appreciate the noble thoughts about the kids and I often feel the same way, but you have a responsibility not only to the kids but also yourself and kids do see the unhappiness. Quote
quanjig Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 The problem is she I waiting for you to "even the score". The woman is mentally broken, you will never be able to fix her by yourself. Sounds like you have reached your limit. Time to move on, I know it's all about the kids and from everything you have posted in the past, I know you have always had their best interest at hand I think you have given this woman every chance and then some. Get an attorney, make it happen. Quote
Super User K_Mac Posted July 1, 2014 Super User Posted July 1, 2014 ...The woman is mentally broken, you will never be able to fix her by yourself... Clayton I will offer my opinion. Keep in mind marital advice from me or any of the rest of us is worth about what you paid for it. We don't know all of the issues here. Based on all you've told us though the above quote is absolutely true. You can't fix her, but that does not mean that she can't be fixed. She has a truck load of baggage that she has to work through. So do you. If she is willing to talk to a professional and listen to wise counsel, by God's grace remarkable changes can, and do happen. I will keep you all in my prayers. 4 Quote
quanjig Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 K_, I couldn't agree with you more, professional help, if they both want to "make the marriage work" is the best solution. I should not have left that out as an option. Quote
Super User Raider Nation Fisher Posted July 1, 2014 Super User Posted July 1, 2014 Throw her in the gutter and go find another. Life is too short to put up with that garbage. 2 Quote
Capt.Bob Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Listen to K-Mac, I would never let a decision in my life this important be made on an open forum. I would find that person personally that is experienced with giving the right help to families in your position, and that usually isn't a lawyer either. I to will say a little prayer you find the right help for all involved. 1 Quote
frantzracing0 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Doing the right thing doesnt always mean staying together jsut for the kids. That stressfull environment is not best for them. They need to see their parents happy, even if it means happily seperate. I wish you the best of luck my friend. Quote
Super User deaknh03 Posted July 1, 2014 Super User Posted July 1, 2014 Clayton, seeing all these opinions is great, but you must follow your gut and your heart.. 1 Quote
Super User Jigfishn10 Posted July 1, 2014 Super User Posted July 1, 2014 Clayton, seeing all these opinions is great, but you must follow your gut and your heart.. What's wrong with you, you posted something fairly intelligent?!... ...J/K 1 Quote
Super User Jigfishn10 Posted July 1, 2014 Super User Posted July 1, 2014 Throw her in the gutter and go find another. Life is too short to put up with that garbage. LMAO...I just read this...Dr. Ruth Raider 1 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.