CAbassboy Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Zachary Souza ( 4 pound bass caught on a trip with my friend to Lake Isabella CA) (usuallly a picture here) My Plans My objective is to promote Your Company and increase overall sales revenue! Although at the same time learning and competing in fishing tournaments and keeping a high school grade Plans for the 2014 & 2015season: I am recentley joined my local club (RHS BFC) and Fish the TBF tournaments they have to offer, while at the same time doing community service with the club, In Fresno California, and whatever other tournaments I can. When I will be able to drive in about 2 years I’m going to get a boat for myself and fish tournaments with my friends The benefits of having me on your Pro-Staff: -I have a youtube/instagram/twitter/tumblr/facebook account to promote products and display fish I catch on them - I am a very Successful and growing young angler and am constantly learning new things about the fishing community - I have not worked anything like an Expo or boat show yet,, but if that would help I would do anything to promote products. - Above all I love tournament bass fishing and would love to help your company in any way I can. Future Plans: I plan to go into the Air Force and get my schooling threw the military, And when I get out, open up a tackleshop, and fish tournaments (hopefully in the proffesional league!) What About Me?I live in Fresno/Clovis California (New to the area), And my favorite lake is Bass Lake. I was born August 6th 1999. I’ve been fishing for a couple of years now ( bass) And I fish as much as possible ( Witch usually depends on getting a ride to the lake and schoolwork). My hobbies include Flying Rc Planes, Voulnteering at the local petsmart (adoption Team), and soon be joining a club for fishing and doing community service with them as well. I am constantly learning how to be a tournament bass angler and How to sell my sponsors product more efficently. I am starting tournaments and am very excited to place the best I can in all them Now, What can I do for your company?I am very skilled at talking to people and telling them why they should buy a product while giving examples like demonstrations, Web Reviews, And just talking to people in day to day life. While representing your company, I will promote your products at every possible opportunity at daily contacts Like at a launch ramp, Tackleshop, Store, School, Web sites and day to day interactions.Fishing as much as I can I will put your product in Front of many anglers daily, have it be a social media, or just talking to them at a store or randomly meeting someone. My club will consist of tournaments from TBF and Local Clubs, . Your products will be showcased at every tournament I fish and everywhere I go, I will carry buisness cards and stickers to show off to people. This plus travel to and from the tournament waters provides countless impressions of your products. Education: I go to Clovis North High School and in the 9thth grade. I try to keep my grades up but sometimes might get a C, but try to keep A’s and B’s. Actually I always get A's and B's And have a common G.P.A of 3.1-3.8 Tournament Fishing History: I just had my first tournament and got 5th I dont have any tournaments until febuary when they start back up again. Quote
Super User flyfisher Posted November 26, 2013 Super User Posted November 26, 2013 Well the intent is good but there are a lot of grammatical and spelling errors in there ranging from using threw instead of through to not capitalizing February, forgetting to end sentences with the appropriate punctuation and capitalizing other words randomly in sentences. In the education section you are contradicting yourself and how is your GPA in a range? My GPA in my classes right now is a fixed number not a range. I would also bullet items out and not write sentences, especially with the grammatical errors. Also if you use bullets stay consistent throughout as some sections are bulleted and others are not. I know you are young but i would recommend using one of the templates available in microsoft word or other word processing software to get he framework of your resume. Then i would do a search online for examples of resumes. Try and mimic some of the ones you find. Oh and one more thing, you have kind of combined a cover letter and resume into one sheet, which can be ok but at the same time a resume is designed to show yourself off and be the first step towards a potential interview. Overall, your intent is good and I can see where you are going but if I received this resume it would go into the shred bin after the first section. Don't take that to hard, just trying to help out as the people you send this to will not be giving any feedback other than we received your resume and if you are chosen you will hear from us. AKA don't call us, we will call you 1 Quote
Super User Long Mike Posted November 26, 2013 Super User Posted November 26, 2013 I suggest you read the responses to all of the other resumes submitted by you young gentlemen. First and foremost, get your education. Secondly, concentrate on getting your education. Third, get your education! 3 Quote
Siebert Outdoors Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 "-I have a youtube/instagram/twitter/tumblr/facebook account to promote products and display fish I catch on them" What is the page? Who ever you send the resume to will probably look at this. Quote
CAbassboy Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Yes, at the bottom i put links to those, as well as contact adress/phone number. i didn't put that on this post due to the no promoting rule on the forum. And also thanks everyone for the response. i will work on that before i even send it out. Quote
LivewellHero Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Well the intent is good but there are a lot of grammatical and spelling errors in there ranging from using threw instead of through to not capitalizing February, forgetting to end sentences with the appropriate punctuation and capitalizing other words randomly in sentences. In the education section you are contradicting yourself and how is your GPA in a range? My GPA in my classes right now is a fixed number not a range. I would also bullet items out and not write sentences, especially with the grammatical errors. Also if you use bullets stay consistent throughout as some sections are bulleted and others are not. I know you are young but i would recommend using one of the templates available in microsoft word or other word processing software to get he framework of your resume. Then i would do a search online for examples of resumes. Try and mimic some of the ones you find. Oh and one more thing, you have kind of combined a cover letter and resume into one sheet, which can be ok but at the same time a resume is designed to show yourself off and be the first step towards a potential interview. Overall, your intent is good and I can see where you are going but if I received this resume it would go into the shred bin after the first section. Don't take that to hard, just trying to help out as the people you send this to will not be giving any feedback other than we received your resume and if you are chosen you will hear from us. AKA don't call us, we will call you Not saying I'm perfect or anything, but don't criticize him on his grammatical errors before you fix your own! Quote
Super User flyfisher Posted January 24, 2014 Super User Posted January 24, 2014 Not saying I'm perfect or anything, but don't criticize him on his grammatical errors before you fix your own! Well when i submit my resume for review i can promise you there will not be any grammatical, spelling or typographical errors. Also be careful because you didn't point out one grammatical error but rather spelling errors or typos so.....Keep in mind bulletin boards are not professional but when posting a resume asking for feedback, that is what you will get. So a word of advice, before dismissing anyone's feedback or critique be sure to look at what they said and not get defensive and pick apart their work because there is a good chance if you critique yourself as much, there wouldn't have been many mistakes made in the first place. Quote
LivewellHero Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Well when i submit my resume for review i can promise you there will not be any grammatical, spelling or typographical errors. Also be careful because you didn't point out one grammatical error but rather spelling errors or typos so.....Keep in mind bulletin boards are not professional but when posting a resume asking for feedback, that is what you will get. So a word of advice, before dismissing anyone's feedback or critique be sure to look at what they said and not get defensive and pick apart their work because there is a good chance if you critique yourself as much, there wouldn't have been many mistakes made in the first place. Who said I dismissed the advice? The advice was there, the post was just a little hypocritical. I know that I always proof-read and try to be as professional sounding as I can. Quote
Super User flyfisher Posted January 24, 2014 Super User Posted January 24, 2014 Who said I dismissed the advice? The advice was there, the post was just a little hypocritical. I know that I always proof-read and try to be as professional sounding as I can. Your tone and implication would indicate that you were dismissing the advice. No, the post is not hypocritical when someone asks for feedback and it is provided that is how it works. Now if it was in another context and I was critiquing the writing when nto being asked, then you bet i will be sure to limit my errors. You ask for what could or should be changed and the information is given. You will notice that the original poster did not look to point out errors in anyone else's posts but rather took the feedback and made changes. Feedback is never easy to take but the sooner you can learn from it, the better off you will be. Quote
LivewellHero Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Your tone and implication would indicate that you were dismissing the advice. No, the post is not hypocritical when someone asks for feedback and it is provided that is how it works. Now if it was in another context and I was critiquing the writing when nto being asked, then you bet i will be sure to limit my errors. You ask for what could or should be changed and the information is given. You will notice that the original poster did not look to point out errors in anyone else's posts but rather took the feedback and made changes. Feedback is never easy to take but the sooner you can learn from it, the better off you will be. You can take my post however you want, but that is not how I intended it to be received. Your advice was good, and the original poster and anybody else should be able to benefit off of it. Quote
Smallmouth Hunter Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Who said I dismissed the advice? The advice was there, the post was just a little hypocritical. I know that I always proof-read and try to be as professional sounding as I can. You called out someone else for their spelling/grammar who called someone else out for the same, and then called them hypocritcal.. Well, I just did a quick search of your username, and I found quite a few errors that YOU made in your posts: "Out of warranty so ended up busting tip" should be a comma after warranty. "you a new rod shipped, eventually" should be no comma after shipped. "Mainly just the handle and knobs" no period at the end of this sentence. "to get a handle to fit a T3 Ballistic" again, no period at the end of the sentence. "for most likely a Lexa" again, no period at the end. I am not specifically calling you out for your grammar/spelling, but for the way you called someone out, then called him a hypocrite. That doesn't fly here. Moral is that no one is perfect, and this is a fishing board, not a spelling board. Everyone will make mistakes, and it is not a big deal because this is for learning about fishing. We are not learning how to type essays here. 1 Quote
LivewellHero Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 You called out someone else for their spelling/grammar who called someone else out for the same, and then called them hypocritcal.. Well, I just did a quick search of your username, and I found quite a few errors that YOU made in your posts: "Out of warranty so ended up busting tip" should be a comma after warranty. "you a new rod shipped, eventually" should be no comma after shipped. "Mainly just the handle and knobs" no period at the end of this sentence. "to get a handle to fit a T3 Ballistic" again, no period at the end of the sentence. "for most likely a Lexa" again, no period at the end. I am not specifically calling you out for your grammar/spelling, but for the way you called someone out, then called him a hypocrite. That doesn't fly here. Moral is that no one is perfect, and this is a fishing board, not a spelling board. Everyone will make mistakes, and it is not a big deal because this is for learning about fishing. We are not learning how to type essays here. Honestly, this has gotten way out of hand. None of this is what I meant by any of my posts. Quite honestly, my first post here was in a joking, sarcastic kind of way. But of course you can't get emotion out of text on a screen. I truly am sorry if I accidentally offended anybody in this thread, as that was not at all my intention. But, aprw1, if you want to play that way, fine. This is just from one of your posts that I found from a quick search: "but i am in desperate need of a spinning reel" Capitalize the "I". "and i don't have a job so i don't have a lot of money" Capitalize "I's". "happened at the most unfortunate time too cause" Comma after "too". "i just spent all the money i have saved" Capitalize "I's". "i will take it off your hands" Same with the "I". "doesn't matter to me if its 5 years old" Should be "it's" not "its". "long as it works i am fine with it." The "I" should be capitalized. "that i can give and also some" Need "I" say it? Also needs a comma after "give". "plastics that i can give." The "I". Yes, all of this in one post. Don't take this the wrong way, just pointing out that we all make mistakes, especially when we aren't thinking about it that much. I never said that my posts were flawless. Quote
Super User flyfisher Posted January 25, 2014 Super User Posted January 25, 2014 Nobody is offended but it is bad taste to critique someone who was asked to help someone else and you really had nothing to do with it other than coming in to stir up trouble. Nobody is on a message board expecting perfect grammar but when a person comes in asking for critiques and gets it, nobody is implying that their own work is perfect but rather looking to help out the person who asked. And part of good writing is being able to convey your thoughts and feelings without people taking them the wrong way..... I say you post up your resume and let us critique it Quote
Smallmouth Hunter Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Livewellhero, you obviously missed the point I was trying to make.. I was not calling you out on your grammar.. I was calling you out for calling him a hypocrite for something that you did yourself. I was simply proving that you called him out for something you do yourself. The fact is that we all make mistakes in grammar/spelling and it is no big deal.. Your post didn't offend anyone, it was just unnecessary and uncalled for. Quote
LivewellHero Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Nobody is offended but it is bad taste to critique someone who was asked to help someone else and you really had nothing to do with it other than coming in to stir up trouble. Nobody is on a message board expecting perfect grammar but when a person comes in asking for critiques and gets it, nobody is implying that their own work is perfect but rather looking to help out the person who asked. And part of good writing is being able to convey your thoughts and feelings without people taking them the wrong way..... I say you post up your resume and let us critique it If you're being serious, I can give you a résumé... Quote
Super User flyfisher Posted January 25, 2014 Super User Posted January 25, 2014 If you're being serious, I can give you a résumé... Nah....I am not hiring right now. Quote
Super User tomustang Posted January 25, 2014 Super User Posted January 25, 2014 Enjoyable thread, resume. 2 Quote
Super User roadwarrior Posted January 25, 2014 Super User Posted January 25, 2014 Back on topic... Spend some time going back through this section of the forum and you will find a number of helpful threads with very specific advice. In terms of format, you do not need to be original, take notes and copy other writers. Keep in mind, your resume is intended to introduce yourself and open a door. Quote
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