How Do You Explain That Thing On Your Body?

[Glenn]

So, I learned a new term today; 'sleep tattoos'... defined as 'the markings on the body left behind from sleeping for an extended period of time'. We've all been victims of it and had the misfortune of having to explain to others what the weird imprints are on your face.

 

Last night, my buddy was chatting with a man at the grocery store who had only one eye. In spite of how obvious it was, the guy felt the need to TELL him that he had only one eye.

 

And then there's a guy in Chicago who caught his girlfriend having sex with another guy... so he knocked the guy unconscious and LIT HIS B*LLS ON FIRE! On FIRE!!! The guy was hospitalized and will recover, but at some point in the future, he'll have to explain to some gal why he has crispy bits. At least he HAS bits. 

 

Then there's the guy I knew in college that had a freckle on his iris that makes it look like his eye is bleeding.  It didn't affect his sight at all.  Weird, I know.

 

Anyway, these stories inspired today's question: HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT THING ON YOUR BODY?

[jbsoonerfan]

I have some man-boobs, which is why I don't take my shirt off in public.

 

When I was 19-21 I took some things that I probably shouldn't have and I was stacked. Then I quit taking those things, quit working out and my pecks turned into boobs. I have lost weight, but the boobs still remain. Oh well, it is what it is.

[slonezp]

Halloween party many years ago. Played chicken with some guy with cigarettes. Put our forearms together and dropped a lit cigarette between them. Loser flinches first. I think it was a draw . I have a scar on my forearm the size of a silver dollar.  I think we used a couple cigarettes and quit after we realized neither one would come out ahead.

[Long Mike]

I'm still trying to explain away the "I love Percie" tattoo on my shoulder.  I didn't know it at the time, but the tattoo artist was hard of hearing.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

I have some man-boobs, which is why I don't take my shirt off in public.

 

When I was 19-21 I took some things that I probably shouldn't have and I was stacked. Then I quit taking those things, quit working out and my pecks turned into boobs. I have lost weight, but the boobs still remain. Oh well, it is what it is.

Gotta do the PCT. You shoulda known that.

[.ghoti.]

I just tell her it's a gift.

[J Francho]

That little guy?  Don't worry about that little guy.

[bighed]

 the tattoo artist was hard of hearing.

Mike!!! HAHAHAHA

[Montanaro]

Sweat, hardwork, and a little blood at the gym

[Ratherbfishing]

Actually, the head and face protruding out of my back has a tougher time explaining me.

[ww2farmer]

Because I have lived by the philosophy that you don't need to put ice cream into a bowl............It already comes in one.