Has Your Life Panned Out Different Than You Thought It Would?

[K_Mac]

^ Gotcha.

 

There is no shame in trying. You never know what may happen.

 

It is often in not trying that comes regret, shame, and other unhappy emotions. Many of my biggest disappointments are not from from my failures, but from those "what if" conversations that play in my head... 

[Nibbles]

Just like it says.... Has your life panned out like you thought it would? Elaborate? 

 

My answer: No, my life is totally different than I thought it would be. When I was growing up I always wanted to be a Veterinarian or a Lawyer or something and figured I would have gone to college and graduated in 4 years and got some masters degree or a PhD... have the wife, kids, house, car, close friends, etc. Figured I would be living in a big city, be connected with all the whose who, etc... real big aspirations. 

 

Well I graduated high school, got into a great university, then dad passed away and devastated me. Dropped out of college and worked for 5 years and moved to this small town in North Louisiana to go to a state school. I don't know the whose who or this town. I'm 24 and don't have a great job, I make decent grades, can't seem to find a gal I want to marry, SO HAPPY I don't have kids yet, and I gave up on having some great high dollar career. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about how my life is completely different than I thought it would be. I still don't even know what I want to do for a career! 

 

Just need some help here guys - please, tell me I'm not the only one who hasn't had everything go according to plan? Any "fatherly" wisdom?

 

Thank you ahead of time

 

Hah, if only my life had gone according to plan.

 

Was in a similar situation to yourself - was on the fast track coming out of high school, got into a great university, and then disaster struck.

 

Dad got hit with cancer my first year, and passed away the next. Hit me pretty hard, and there was certainly a bump in my education career.

 

Graduated, and couldn't find a job I was happy with within my field (Advertising). 

 

A little over a year later, and I'm now working as a web designer/developer hybrid for a financial services startup. Took the graphic/user design proficiency from my education, and combined it with self-taught coding skills.

 

Talk about doing a 180 - went from wanting to be the "idea guy" to working as the "implementation guy". 

 

Didn't reach where I am without many bumps in the road and countless hours dedicated to self-education.

 

You just gotta pick something and stick with it for awhile - fail early and often, until you finally stumble upon what you're truly passionate about and good at.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Life ain't easy. Never was or will be. You gotta take the good with the bad. Learn from your mistakes and keep at it. Happiness is created by you and only you. Sounds like your in a rough patch right now. Just keep your head up and no things will get better. You got to work hard at whatever you do.

Nothing is ever given. At least it wasn't to me. Only thing I was given were opportunities. I took them and worked my butt off. It has paid dividends for me. Be the best at whatever your doing. If thats being a engineer. Then be the best engineer you can be. If that's cleaning toilets. Then be the best toilet cleaner you can. See where I'm going with this? Put 100% into whatever you do. You may not think so, but people will notice.

Another tidbit. Be passionate about what you do. Find something you enjoy doing and make it happen. You spend the majority of your life at work. You might as well enjoy what your doing. May take some trial and error, but you will figure it out.

Lastly. Don't be afraid to fail. Failure is a part of life. Its what we learn from. If you don't learn from your failure you will not find success. For instance. I nuked a 480 step down transformer when I was an apprentice. I wired a A/C disconnect wrong and when the phases crossed it blew the disconnect off the wall. I was a second year apprentice and should have known better. I wasn't paying attention and boom. I've never made either of those mistakes again. I learned from them.

Your gonna be fine homie. Just keep after it.

[Bluebasser86]

Life has turned out nothing like I planned, and other than some dumb choices I made as a teenager I wouldn't change any of it. I've got a good paying job that puts food on the table and pays the bills. I've got good friends and family that I know are always there for me. I've been blessed with finding a passion for this sport and lucky enough to be fairly good at it. I married a wonderful woman, we bought a house together, and in a couple months we'll get to meet our son

[aquaholic]

I always thought id be playing in the majors right now with a smoking hot playmate wife. That hasnt panned out yet though. 

[Stephanie Ellis]

First of all, I would just like to acknowledge and thank you and everyone who chose to be vulnerable in this thread.  It is very touching to read...and certainly very inspiring and encouraging for me as well!  My life has definitely not gone the way I had once envisioned it.  I have never been the person who has gone down the path of least resistance.  Growing up, I had what some people might call a rough start...and because of this, certain qualities started to develop early on in me (ie. empathy, compassion, understanding, forgiving, willful, observant, etc..).  My main goal in life has always been to "help others"...and as I have developed into my young adulthood, I realize that I can accomplish this goal in any situation I am faced with.  I have realized that if there is one thing in life I have control over, it's my decisions.  Everything in life is a choice.  Everything we think, feel, and act on is based upon how we decide to react, act or otherwise feel about it.  I am still learning and applying this fact everyday and in every moment.  For a long time, I reveled in the victim role...feeling self pity was my specialty.  Now, I am diligently and earnestly making the conscious choice to redefine my experiences and feelings so that I can not only survive but thrive.  I want to be a living example of how life's sour lemons can be transformed into the sweetest, most quenching lemonade!  Sometimes, I get discouraged and impatient because I want to be at the "end of the rainbow" already but I am slowly recognizing now that the "joy is in the juicing"!  So, keep juicing my friends!!  And remember, light shines brightest in darkness!!    I thank you so much for your posts, because they have sparked something deep down in me to share and be vulnerable!  Make it a magical day everyone!!  

[Raider Nation Fisher]

First of all, I would just like to acknowledge and thank you and everyone who chose to be vulnerable in this thread.  It is very touching to read...and certainly very inspiring and encouraging for me as well!  My life has definitely not gone the way I had once envisioned it.  I have never been the person who has gone down the path of least resistance.  Growing up, I had what some people might call a rough start...and because of this, certain qualities started to develop early on in me (ie. empathy, compassion, understanding, forgiving, willful, observant, etc..).  My main goal in life has always been to "help others"...and as I have developed into my young adulthood, I realize that I can accomplish this goal in any situation I am faced with.  I have realized that if there is one thing in life I have control over, it's my decisions.  Everything in life is a choice.  Everything we think, feel, and act on is based upon how we decide to react, act or otherwise feel about it.  I am still learning and applying this fact everyday and in every moment.  For a long time, I reveled in the victim role...feeling self pity was my specialty.  Now, I am diligently and earnestly making the conscious choice to redefine my experiences and feelings so that I can not only survive but thrive.  I want to be a living example of how life's sour lemons can be transformed into the sweetest, most quenching lemonade!  Sometimes, I get discouraged and impatient because I want to be at the "end of the rainbow" already but I am slowly recognizing now that the "joy is in the juicing"!  So, keep juicing my friends!!  And remember, light shines brightest in darkness!!    I thank you so much for your posts, because they have sparked something deep down in me to share and be vulnerable!  Make it a magical day everyone!!

Wow, your chipper and cheerful today.

My life would be even more drastically different if I didn't have the family I do. My dad grew up with next to nothing. Everything he ever got he worked his butt off for. Its always listening to him and his brothers talk about it. They made the most with what little they had, and apparently had a lot of good times. His dad. My grandpa was a full blown alcoholic. He drank all their money away and they moved around a lot. My dad left home at 17 so he could finish his senior year of high school where he was. Was a top ranked football recruit and went to Auburn with a full ride. He ended up getting thrown out of school down there. Anyway. He has always worked his butt off and he instilled that in me. There were many months I never saw my dad except for weekends. He worked 2nd shift at a pipe plant for a long time until day shift job came available. He was asleep when I left for school and at work when I woke up. Even on a lot od weekends I rarely saw him. He worked 12 and 14 hour days seven days a week for months on end. Longest he went was around a year and a half with no days off other than holidays. The man has truely inspired me like no other.

My mums parents were successful as far as money goes. They did good for themselves and made sure our family and those of my cousins never went without the essentials. I started doing yard work and other odd jobs for them when I was 13. With the exception of 2 years when I was in school, I haven't missed but maybe 12 weekends working for them since that time. My grandpop I saw more than my dad growing up. He was a retired mechanical engineer, and one of the smartest people I have ever known. He helped me develop the thirst for knowledge and reading that I have now.

Its just amazing to me how much my family has had an impact on my life. To imagine how different things could have turned out for me without them is insane to me.

Okay I'm done with my novel now.

[martintheduck]

100% Thank y'all for the responses....Raider, Mike, Retired, Farmer, slone, nibbles... and everyone else.... can really relate to you Raider with that recent "novel." It pretty accurately describes my younger life and where I learned a lot. Stephanie - I've been stuck in the "victim" role for a little while now and I've been learning a lot in the past weeks about how it's really an internal/personal thing that I have to force myself to get out of. 

 

Things have definitely ironed out a bit here recently and a lot of encouraging things came from what you guys posted. You know, sometimes it's as if I look around and EVERYONE looks like they have their "stuff" together and "it all went according to plan..." I don't know if it's this small town where everyone is married and has kids early or what! Appreciate the reassurance that I'm not some bumbling screw-up who missed the boat (although I do own a boat these days)... truly... thank you 100x's

[Ratherbfishing]

Is it too late to put in my two cents?  When I first read your question and learned you are the ripe old age of 24, well, my immediate reaction was to roll my eyes.  Unless you have some terminal disease where you definitely know your "expiration date", you have (perhaps) a lot of years left in which to determine some portion of your fate.  But as I said, that was just my first reaction.  Then I remembered (in my very hazy past) being 24 and thinking, too, that my life was going in an entirely different direction than I'd expected.  So, I'll take my back my eye rolling, humbly apologize, and proceed.

 

There's an old adage that says, "Be careful what you ask for, you just might receive it."  I can testify that I'd be pretty miserable doing what I set out to do at 18.  Yes, once I figured out that "It" wasn't for me, it set me back some but at least I am not miserable in my new pursuits.   With the benefit of some time and experience on your side, are the things you dreamt of (prior to the various circumstances stepping in) the same things you now want for yourself?  If so, you are still young (relatively speaking) and you can, perhaps, still pursue at least some of those goals.  If not, than more power to you.  You can now regroup and formulate a new plan.

 

I'll leave you with these thoughts:

 

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

 

If life gives you melons, you are probably dyslexic.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

 

If life gives you melons, you are probably dyslexic.

ROFLMAO

That there is funny.