Parenting 101

[Raider Nation Fisher]

My 5 year old was playing on the playground with his new friends at our apartment. All was going good until he came home crying that someone pinched him. After kissing his pinched arm my wife said to pinch him back if he did it again. Nope. I'm the dad, I give advice in matters such as this. I told him boys don't pinch. That's something girls do. I said he should pop him in the face. Nip it in the butt once and for all. The retaliatory strike should be more aggressive then the first strike. Least that's how I viewed it. I told him only do this IF someone hit him or pinched him first. If he swings first, he gets his butt spanked and he knows this. Then he bounced back out to play with his friends.

Well boy was I "wrong". I got my butt chewed out over it. How dare I tell him to deck another child. And rah rah rah. I countered with the suggestion, perhaps he should just pick up a brick and clock the offending pincher with it. Wrong move Raider. She lit into me like a raccoon into a garbage can. Sheesh. I still stand by my first but of advice though.

[slonezp]

Maybe you should pinch her

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Maybe you should pinch her

She would pick up a brick.

[slonezp]

She would pick up a brick.

What's good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander. Arm your son with some bricks.

[Matt Jungblut]

I think that is the wrong advice  i  would explain turn the other cheek to him  teaching him to use violence wont sholve his problems but  make them worse. If all else fails then you deck them

[K_Mac]

I tell my grandsons that walking away from trouble takes more guts than fighting sometimes. There are times when protecting yourself or others is what is required though. One good solid punch will not likely do any real harm, but will probably stop any further incident. All four of the kids, including the baby girl, are taking karate class to learn how to protect themselves. I am good with that.

 

Mothers are never going to understand how little boys (or men) work in this regard. Boys need mom to kiss it make it better, and dad to train them how to be a man. There will always be some tension there. 

[CayMar]

Teach him wet willies, purple nurples, and Indian burns.

[ClackerBuzz]

i'm gonna go with a pinch for a pinch.  it will end 95% of bully situations and its an easy concept for children to understand. not a fan of turn the other cheek b/c the bully just ends up bigger, strong and taunting ur kid plus 5 more.  not a fan of upgrading a pinch to a punch b/c kids don't have the judgement skills as to when to match, raise the ante, hold or fold etc. if ur kids pinches back then the bully lays off.  and moving forward ur son know's how to stand up for other kids the bully might be picking on as well.  

or maybe teach him a Hacksaw Jim Duggan clothesline?

[hookedahawg]

I had a bully ONCE in third grade. We were in gym and he thought it would be funny to throw a basketball as hard as he could at me while I was walking away from his group of friends. It drilled me in the back. I went home and my grandpa saw the welt it left on me. He said if anyone ever does this to you again, I want you to hit them as hard as you can between the eyes. Flash forward s week or so and sure enough, here comes the bully. This time he chopped me in the neck, so I did as told and let him have it. Busted his nose and he cried and ran away bleeding. My grandpa was called to pick me up, got in the car and he bought me a ice cream. Needless to say word spread and I wasn't picked on again. May not work for everyone's style of parenting but ill make sure my kids know the same thing. Don't start fights, but you can always finish them.

[Root beer]

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind." 

[flyfisher]

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind." 

One of the best quotes i have seen in a while.... 

[jbsoonerfan]

I have told my son(who is 8) that if he is picked on, it's better to punch someone in the face first than to be the one that's picked on. I teach in a middle school and I have heard so many kids talk about being picked on that it is not even funny. These are the same kids that kill themselves, or bring a gun to school and kill others. Most of the time, turning the other cheek is what should be done if it is a one time deal. But, if it is a repeating occurrence, a good punch in the nose can teach a lesson.

 

I was picked on by this one kid in elementary. Finally one day he kicked me in the nuts. I punched him in the nose and he cried like a little girl. I didn't have another problem again till JH and a new kid came to school. Decided he would pick on me to try to make friends. One punch to the nose and he never bothered me again. I haven't been in a fight in 20 years and haven't even felt the need to. I have been in some situations at bars that most people would have got in a fight, but it was just a one time deal. However, being picked on over a period of time is different story.

 

I think a one-time pinch is a turn the other cheek, but if it happens again, maybe a punch to the nose is warranted.

[MCS]

Been there had that convo. finally put him in Jiu Jitsu, to learn all about respect, self control and grappling but also teach about bullying and when to use the techniques in some real world situations. Worse comes to worse I tell him lion killer and my boy wraps the kid up like a python and isn't going to break until they tap....wait that kid doesn't know to tap..oops my mistake lol

[MarksHooked]

I don't really frequent a lot of forums or websites or anything, but I'd bet there isn't a better group than this in all of the internet. Great advice all around here, I'm proud to be on BR

[Raider Nation Fisher]

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind."

"Now I become death. Destroyer of worlds."

[Raider Nation Fisher]

I've dealt with bullies my whole life. Dangdest thing about it though none of them were bigger than me. It is always the small wanna be badass that comes gunning. It happened in elementary and middle school, now it happens at bars. Hence why I only go to one bar now. Anyway. I discovered long ago that if you beat the first guy to the floor and beat him bad enough. Then the next ten guys will think twice before trying it. I didn't put up with kids bullying other kids at school when I was there, and I don't put up with it now. I don't want the bully to respect me. I want him to hate and fear me. 29 years in it has worked out quite well.

That is the lessons I'm trying to bestow upon my son. You don't start a fight physically, but by God you end it if it does get physical. You DO NOT pick on people, don't follow the crowd. You stand up for the little man. Some of my best friends to this day are "nerds", that I stood up for and kept people from picking on.

Violence may not be the best option. But it is still an option. -Thorin-

[K_Mac]

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind." 

 

Rootbeer that is a great quote. I am a big fan of words myself. There are times when more than words are required though. It has always been so. To think otherwise is not being willing to see IMO. Peace.

[tomustang]

I can see 16 years later...

 

Son, make sure you bring your gun to the knife fight!

[Fishing Rhino]

Parents are responsible for their children's behavior.  Telling your child to respond in kind is the wrong lesson.  The first action is for you to have a conversation the other kid's parents.  Maybe they'll deal with their little troublemaker, maybe they won't.  If they do, problem solved. 

 

Telling your son to punch the guy in the snot locker may end up with your son getting a real beating.  If that happens, then what do you do?  Beat up the kid?  Beat up his father?  That can get you in real trouble.

 

The world is bad enough.  It would be worse if all of us took matters into our own hands every time someone wronged us.  There are authorities to handle such matters, whether they be physical attacks, theft, vandalism, you name it.

 

If the playground is part of the apartment complex, and the parents won't deal with their little darling, perhaps a heart to heart with the owner or the manager might be the solution.  They could ban the brat from the playground for a few days or weeks.  I doubt your son is the only victim.  All the management has to do is approach the parents, and tell them they have received complaints about the pinching, without identifying the source of the complaints.

[SPEEDBEAD.]

"Now I become death. Destroyer of worlds."

 

"I killed someone with a trident"

 

[ww2farmer]

I agree with you Raider. I have told my daughters the same thing. Don't be a bully, don't pick on any one, walk away if it's just words...........but if they lay a hand on you, strike back twice as hard, and it won't happen again.

[slonezp]

"An eye for an eye makes the world pirates." 

Fixed that for you

[Raider Nation Fisher]

"I killed someone with a trident"

 

ROFL :D

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Fixed that for you

ARRRRR MATEY!!!

[GeorgiaBassBros]

I completely agree with raider. The whole turn the other cheek approach works fine for words in my opinion but if it gets physical dont hesitate to beat them to a pulp. Or if some one gets physical with some one weaker than you or a woman, you stomp them to the ground. Thats how i was raised and how my kids will be raised. And just like raider, i have good friends that are weaker people that ive stood up for. Got me in a lot of trouble at school but never at home