You Gotta Read This ... :d

[BassAddict1911]

Haha this made my day !  

 

 

 

GOVERNMENT PIPE SPECIFICATIONS

 

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic, centered around the hole.

 

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length -- do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

 

3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed their OD (Outside Diameter) -- otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

 

4. The pipe is supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

 

5. All pipe is to be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied at the job site. (NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is

recommended as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.)

 

6. All pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words "LONG PIPE" clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it's a long pipe.

 

7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also have the words "LONG PIPE" painted in the middle so the contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether it is a long or short pipe.

 

8. All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have the words "LARGE PIPE" painted on it, so the contractor won't mistake it for a small pipe.

 

9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes from bolts that are quite separate from the big holes in the middle.

 

10. When ordering 90 or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

 

11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

 

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads. Otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on to one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.

 

13. All pipes shorter than 1/8in (3mm) are very uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.

 

14. Joints in pipes for water must be watertight. Those pipes for compressed air, however, need only be airtight.

 

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

 

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include; Conduit, Tube, Tunnel, and Drain. Use only genuine pipes.

 

 

[BrettD]

I was an estimator for several years bidding 1-2 million dollar projects for the south florida water management so this doesnt suprise me at all. Its kind of like when the slip in you have to provide them with a work trailer on the jobsite yet the trailer never gets used.

[Fishing Rhino]

Nice, especially the part about the elbows.

 

Did you know it's the same thing with nails?

 

A carpenter and his apprentice were shingling a house.  The carpenter noticed that the apprentice was throwing about half the nails onto the ground.  When asked why he was throwing the nails on the ground, the apprentice told him that about half the nails had the head on the wrong end.

 

The carpenter told him not to throw them away, but to save them for the other side of the house.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

That's so true. I've welded pipe for them. Both long pipe and large pipe. Never would have figured it out without the labels. That describes them to a t.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Nice, especially the part about the elbows.

 

Did you know it's the same thing with nails?

 

A carpenter and his apprentice were shingling a house.  The carpenter noticed that the apprentice was throwing about half the nails onto the ground.  When asked why he was throwing the nails on the ground, the apprentice told him that about half the nails had the head on the wrong end.

 

The carpenter told him not to throw them away, but to save them for the other side of the house.

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Fishing Rhino]

A carpenter went into the lumber yard to buy some 2 X 4s.  The clerk asked how long he wanted them.

 

The carpenter said that they were going to use them to build a house, so they would need them for a long time.

[slonezp]

Funny. I shared it with my pipefitter brothers 

[Grizzn N Bassin]

Hahha awesome!

[Bankbeater]

We have some Gov't overseers at work.  It seems that most of the time they are trying to see who has the bigger office.