Any Good Fishing Jokes Out There?

[papajoe222]

Come on,  share a good one.

A guy is out in his boat fishing all morning and decides to beach it at his campsite and take a little mid-day snooze.  His wife, an avid reader, decides to take the boat out and relax with a new novel.  While doing so, the game warden stops by the anchored boat and asks to see her fishing license. "I'm not fishing, I'm reading a book" she replies. "Is that so? Well you have all the necessary equipment there, rod, tackle, landing net, I even see a bait bucket there.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you up for fishing without a license" he says.

"Okay, but I'm afraid I'll have to have you arrested for rape when you get back to shore"  "RAPE! I never came near you lady. How can you charge me with rape?"

You have all the right equipment, don't you"......................................"Enjoy your book lady"

[DelfiBoyz_One_and_Only]

ROFLMAO!  Thats awesome!

 

 

Jay-

[Ratherbfishing]

Two fisherman are on a boat on a lake near a bridge.  As they are fishing a funeral procession starts across the bridge.  The fisherman in the front takes off his hat, places it on his chest and solemnly waits until the last car has passed.  He then puts his hat back on and continues to fish.  The man in the back, a little surprised, says to him, "My, that was awfully respectful of you!"

 

"It's the least I coud do," he replies, "I was married to her for 25 years."

[grampa1114]

What do you call a fish with no Eyes?...........Fsh........

[clayton86]

Two fisherman are on a boat on a lake near a bridge. As they are fishing a funeral procession starts across the bridge. The fisherman in the front takes off his hat, places it on his chest and solemnly waits until the last car has passed. He then puts his hat back on and continues to fish. The man in the back, a little surprised, says to him, "My, that was awfully respectful of you!"

"It's the least I coud do," he replies, "I was married to her for 25 years."

Lol I like that one

[kylek]

read this one today

 

A game warden noticed how a guy named Sam always caught more fish than anyone else. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.

So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat,

then took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.

Well, when the game warden recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam,

"You can't do this! I'll put you in jail! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it, tossed it in the lap of the game warden and said,

"Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"

 

[kylek]

and this one....

 

 

 

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth,
I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that d**n snake ... with two more frogs.

Life is good in the South.

 

[Scott F]

I was on a fly-in fishing trip to a remote lake. Our cabin had no running water and an outhouse. One morning, one of my buddies was on his way to the outhouse carrying his fishing rod.

"Why are you taking your rod to the outhouse?" I asked.

"Well", he said, "My raincoat fell down the hole and I wanted to get it out"

"Man, your raincoat is ruined now, why not just leave it in there?"

"I would" he said, "But my lunch is in the pocket!"

[CABassin]

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

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DAM!

[Traveler2586]

There's also a mess of jokes on another thread called "Jokes - Let's have some fun" at http://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/topic/99492-jokes-lets-have-some-fun/

 

Here's one a friend sent me in an email; I hope no one takes offense.

 

  THE OFFICIAL TEXAS SHERIFF EXAM

 

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview.

The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."

 

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.

 

"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

 

I LOVE TEXAS

[Tuckahoe Joe]

There's also a mess of jokes on another thread called "Jokes - Let's have some fun" at http://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/topic/99492-jokes-lets-have-some-fun/

 

Here's one a friend sent me in an email; I hope no one takes offense.

 

  THE OFFICIAL TEXAS SHERIFF EXAM

 

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview.

The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."

 

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.

 

"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

 

I LOVE TEXAS

That's too funny!

[Jake P]

My wife didnt complain when I got home from the lake.