Coaching Of The Youth

[Raider Nation Fisher]

So my wife knows that Im a good youth sports coach. I am very good at getting the most out of aspiring athletes. However Devil Woman wont let me coach my sons youth league soccer team until he is older. Her reasoning being. They dont have winners or losers, everyone is a winner, and these children dont need to learn my brand of playing sports yet. The only reason Im going along with her on this, is because he is only 4 and she might know what she is talking about. Plus im just excited he is showing an interest in sports. Now for the question. Which isnt related to four year old soccer, but sports in general.

What in the world is the point in playing sports if everyone wins? Why do we as a country feel it is necessary to celebrate mediocrity? You are either good or you are bad at whatever you are doing. You either win or lose. Thats how life is and thats how sports are. Maybe the 49ers and Ravens will play a game of patty cake and declare that they are both winners.

[deaknh03]

This is called being a liberal. 

[A-Jay]

I hear that - Back in the day, I was a DI (8 years worth) - that mentality was just starting to surface.

Needless to say, there was a bit of a wake up call for many of America's youth who were fortunate enough to end up in my Company . . . . .

 

Mentors and Consistent Role Models are Invaluable and irreplaceable.

 

Realistic expectations go a long way toward teaching all of us that throughout your entire life - you'll only get what you earn, there's no way around it.

 

A-Jay

[Nitrofreak]

I see your point, at 4 yrs old winning and loosing is not much of a big ordeal, at that age all sports are and should be about fun and exersize,  but on that same note, we can't afford to sit back on our duff's for very long if the child shows promise in a particular sport, any sport, the harsh reality is something that is the resposibility of the parent and or coach and or both to refine and teach.

 

At what age do we start to prepair them is the line, once they enter school on their own, and start to do things on their own is soon enough imo.

[clayton86]

Yeah I hate this whole everyones a winner crap. I used to coach a younger X-ball(paintball) team a well as played for the field home team getting to travel all over. Me and the other coach had the same mentality with the younger guys 10-15 as with us guys on the traveling team that did xball, psp, and nppl. You beat the other team so bad they come off the field heads hung low dreading facing us again! It worked we were undefeated and so were the younger team.

[A-Jay]

Ah - Sports - so many similarities to life itself.

 

Sometimes you work so very hard and you win.

 

Some times you give twice that effort and still lose - badly.

 

And sometimes stuff just falls in your lap.

 

As to when do you start the lessons ? 

 

My question would be - when does one start to experience life ?

 

I guess that's when you start . . . .

 

A-Jay

[clayton86]

My oldest is about to be 4 and he's showing intrest for motor sports and outdoors. He's been begging for a 4 wheeler and wants to race. Iv found some kids wheelers 125cc that will do 45mph but they come with a remote kill switch and can be adjuste down to 5mph. The local shop has toddler full face helmets and chest plates, jackets, boots. So we may get him into that I'm actually more reserved about it then his mother is. Then his uncle shoots bow competitively and he wants to shoot also so we got him a bow and im picking one up soon also. He's not to into "sports" but neither was I besides baseball. He's got an arm on him I'd like to see both my boys play football or baseball get good and get a ride threw college saves my wallet some haha. But if he wants to race quads and dirt bikes I suppose he can do that.

[A-Jay]

This is appropriate here but might be something that is over looked by those who share the "we're all winners" mentality.

 

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." ~ Booker T. Washington

 

A-Jay

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Yeah I hate this whole everyones a winner crap. I used to coach a younger X-ball(paintball) team a well as played for the field home team getting to travel all over. Me and the other coach had the same mentality with the younger guys 10-15 as with us guys on the traveling team that did xball, psp, and nppl. You beat the other team so bad they come off the field heads hung low dreading facing us again! It worked we were undefeated and so were the younger team.

I got to be an assistant coach for my little sisters soccer team. They won all kinds of tournaments amd trophys and what have you. Those girls would play theur tails off for me. Its all a matter of making it fun for them while having them give their all. In this case it wasnt fun for them unless they were winning. They would win by any means necessary too. Ive never seen more violent, hard nosed soccer players then these little girls were. Heck they learned how to flop (over exagerate a bump or push, and act like your injured. Just like the pros do.) when they were only 7.

[Teal]

Raider, sound like me and you are cut from the same cloth. Ive always played baseball, football and basketball both for school and city rec teams as child and now on adult teams. Im pretty intense and compettitive. I have helped middle schools with their boys and i was the type of coach that was intense and demanding.

When i started coaching tball for 4 year olds...man i got a wake up call. I had to change how i approached it. I approached it by making a few goals.

1. Teach the game

2. Teach team work and use team building excercise in practice and warm ups

3. Allow the children to "play" the game and have fun without being over critcal

4. Encourage good play and explain why certain play is undisirable

Now when i started coaching the 6-8 year olds -i put alot more emphasis on winning!

Im all about a win or lose game but at 4 years old i really just want to get them involved and plant the seed for a love of the sport.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Raider, sound like me and you are cut from the same cloth. Ive always played baseball, football and basketball both for school and city rec teams as child and now on adult teams. Im pretty intense and compettitive. I have helped middle schools with their boys and i was the type of coach that was intense and demanding.

When i started coaching tball for 4 year olds...man i got a wake up call. I had to change how i approached it. I approached it by making a few goals.

1. Teach the game

2. Teach team work and use team building excercise in practice and warm ups

3. Allow the children to "play" the game and have fun without being over critcal

4. Encourage good play and explain why certain play is undisirable

Now when i started coaching the 6-8 year olds -i put alot more emphasisnonce winning!

Im all about a win or lose game but at 4 years old i really just want to get them involved and plant the seed for a love of the sport.

Thats why we are letting someone else coach him this year and next year. Im TOO focused on winning. Aside from working out Im starting playing rugby too. Least when Im in town. I grew up playing sports, and even though it was never pushed somewhere developed the whole "Victory or Death" thing. That applies to me and not to my son or the children I have coached. Anyway. He is doing soccer this spring which he has been hounding me about since he turned three. Which if I had known they had three year old soccer he wiuld have been playing last year. So im excited for him.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

I was just informed by the little fella that he is gonna play soccer for Chelsea when he turns 13. No idea where he came up with 13 from. I do know that he dislikes Man U and Liverpool with a passion though.

[tomustang]

4 year old soccer, there are no winners or losers, only years of practice until they become winners.

[quanjig]

Raider, I would get in there straight away and try to get your kids learning the fundamentals. Proper technique, ball control, spacing, correct surfaces, etc. I coached H.S and travel teams and had unbelievable coaches while I played that truly instilled hard work and correct knowledge of the game. Soccer camps as well are great for kids learning the game. Above all, keep it fun! You can do both at the same time. The worst thing in the world is someone who hasn't a clue about the game try to teach it!!!!

[Darren.]

Well, as a dad who has 4 competitive boys, all of whom play sports, this is an issue. I also coach soccer, and dadgum if there's not a sissification of government (county)-controlled sports.

 

So I endeavor to teach my kids to love the game, and that winning IS a great thing, but to be an excellent sport when they lose. Kind of subversive in a way. Finding a way to keep competitiveness alive, but not driving them to "slaughter" the other team just because.

 

It's ok for the Patriots to do so because these guys are pros. If you can't stop Tom and company well, sorry. It's the game.

 

So I've tried to instill this in every team I've coached. Even within these leagues you will NEVER stop some kids who have kill-or-be-killed mentality. It is tough. I have to step back every so many seasons and stop just to regain sanity. And then I have to absolutely muzzle my mouth when I'm on the sidelines and my kids are on a crap team with a parent who's never coached the game and wants everyone to cheer when either team scores.

 

I do teach my sons to be agressive *on the ball* and to play to win. Fortunately one of our boys is on a travel league now where competition is praised, but so is sportsmanship. We do encounter jerks on other teams, parents can be especially nasty.

[Teal]

I like coaching the small children ages 4-8. Two reasons for it. 1. Its alot of fun 2. Parents in higher age groups are pain in the neck. the youngest age kids are easy because all of the kids are going to get to play and locally there is no pressure for the 4-6 year olds to win. (Here they do not keep score at t ball games)

[preach4bass]

This whole philosophy is for the parents, not the kids.  Kids aren't stupid.  They know who scored the most points.  They know who won and who lost.  The only thing that not officially "keeping score" does is make the parents feel better about themselves.  I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Your kid will know if he won or lost.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Raider, I would get in there straight away and try to get your kids learning the fundamentals. Proper technique, ball control, spacing, correct surfaces, etc. I coached H.S and travel teams and had unbelievable coaches while I played that truly instilled hard work and correct knowledge of the game. Soccer camps as well are great for kids learning the game. Above all, keep it fun! You can do both at the same time. The worst thing in the world is someone who hasn't a clue about the game try to teach it!!!!

We have been practicing for the past 5 months. The boy is getting very good. We do short sessions about 10minutes in length on ball control and passing. Then we just run and play for half an hour then do another short session. The biggest benefit he has is that one of his aunts went to college on a soccer scholarshil and she helps whenever she can. The other benefit is that one of our family friends that went to school with my cousin is an amazing soccer player. She came her from England on a soccer scholarship and is now a soccer coach at a college in Georgia. She works with both of us when she is in town. He has also been learning the fundamentals of rugby. Which has a heavy base in soccer. Like I said he has gotten very good for his age with ball control and passing. All in all though he just loves getting tk play the game, and im starting to enjoy it too.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

This whole philosophy is for the parents, not the kids.  Kids aren't stupid.  They know who scored the most points.  They know who won and who lost.  The only thing that not officially "keeping score" does is make the parents feel better about themselves.  I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Your kid will know if he won or lost.

I never thought about it that way before. I like that.

[bkohlman]

I think it is also important to remember that there are different levels of competition available for most age groups in most sports.

The lowest level of sport are Rec and YMCA leagues, they should be focused on introducing sports, teamwork and building skills to as many children possible, and minimize the importance of winning, but emphasize improvement of skill. This is great for some, but not all. In KS and many other states there are several youth options to participate in a more competitive form of youth sport, which is great for those who are developmentally ready to physically and mentally compete at a higher level. 

 

Even in my classroom (5th grade) I tell my students they each have a different "best", and that I expect that "best" every day, in every way.

 

FWIW -  I spent the last 9 years as a college and high school basketball coach and currently am in graduate school in Sport Management.

[quanjig]

Nice! In the mid to late eighties, I was on a soccer camp coaching staff that included several women's national players as well as a coue of then first division English league players. I learned sooo much from them in the 6+ years we ran those camps! One of the girls is now the head coach of the UCLA woman's soccer team and her father was at one point the assistant head coach of the woman's national team. He also took our club team and won the McGuire cup in 1982! I love and know the beautiful game, wish I could still play and coach but I've had 3 ACL recons and I enjoy the ability to walk more than coaching and playing!!

Keep the kids interested and I have no doubt the boy could get an apprenticeship with a top notch club, who knows, by then it might be fashionable to play in the MLS!!

[whitwolf]

4-6 should be nothing but fundamentals. My son played rec. baseball and on travel teams for years  and while not the most athletically gifted young man he worked hard and was above average. I coached him for a few years when he was young and my teams were always competitive but the objective wasn't about winning or losing It was to prepare  them fundamentally for the next level.

 

One of the things that I saw from children that age was they had fun the majority of the time and the way this particular league was set-up It was meant to teach, have fun, and generally learn some rules of the game. A 4-6 year old has a very short attention span but will soak up an enormous amount of knowledge If it's presented In a way that makes learning fun. It used to sicken me when some coach who thought coaching coach pitch baseball was some gateway for a huge move up In the baseball ranks,would berate some 5 year old because he simply didn't have the skill set to catch a fly ball or hit to the opposite field on a ball thrown outside. There are less than 1% that can do those things at that age, PERIOD.

 

To me a weeding out process starts around 8-9 and to me that's when the winning and losing should be a part of the framework with which the great game of baseball Is taught.

 

I digress here a minute. My son played and played reasonably well but at age 13 he d**n well knew he wasn't of the calibur of the majority that were playing travel ball and never played on another travel team. He played out his rec. ball years and had a blast. I never had a problem with him not continuing his travel ball as both he and I knew he was better served to continue a strong academic path and while those years playing sports taught some great lessons, Instilled a wonderful work ethic, and were durn fun the majority of the time, he knew he was never going pro and simply thought a college degree was what he wanted to work towards.

 

As for the acceptance of mediocrity; It's the parents job to Instill a pride In what you do, to work hard at whatever you are doing, and that will carry over to whatever your child pursues.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

4-6 should be nothing but fundamentals. My son played rec. baseball and on travel teams for years  and while not the most athletically gifted young man. He worked hard and was above average. I coached him for a few years when he was young and my teams were always competitive but the objective wasn't about winning or losing It was to prepare  them fundamentally for the next level.

 

One of the things that I saw from children that age was they had fun the majority of the time and the way this particular league was set-up It was meant to teach, have fun, and generally learn some rules of the game. A 4-6 year old has a very short attention span but will soak up an enormous amount of knowledge If it's presented In a way that makes learning fun. It used to sicken me when some coach who thought coaching coach pitch baseball was some gateway for a huge move up In the baseball ranks,would berate some 5 year old because he simply didn't have the skill set to catch a fly ball or hit to the opposite field on a ball thrown outside. There are less than 1% that can do those things at that age, PERIOD.

 

To me a weeding out process starts around 8-9 and to me that's when the winning and losing should be a part of the framework with which the great game of baseball Is taught.

 

I digress here a minute. My son played and played reasonably well but at age 13 he d**n well knew he wasn't of the calibur of the majority that were playing travel ball and never played on another travel team. He played out his rec. ball years and had a blast. I never had a problem with him not continuing his travel ball as both he and I knew he was better served to continue a strong academic path and while those years playing sports taught some great lessons, Instilled a wonderful work ethic, and were durn fun the majority of the time, he knew he was never going pro and simply thought a college degree was what he wanted to work towards.

 

As for the acceptance of mediocrity; It's the parents job to Instill a pride In what you do, to work hard at whatever you are doing, and that will carry over to whatever your child pursues.

Thats one of my greatest fears with youth sports. I dont want some idiot parent that thinks hes Gods gift to (insert your sport of choice) ruining it for my son. Nothing bothers me more than the little league coach that berates their players and expects them to be at a (pro) level, because they think that they themselves are. The little league football and baseball coaches are the worst about this. I recall vividly the fist fights I saw between some of these coaches and players dads. Oddly enough the dad always seemed to beat the breaks off the coach.

I excelled at football (got a scholarship offer) and wrestling. I was good at baseball until it got the 11 year old level. In which case I quit playing cause it wasnt fun any more. I was not that great at soccer. I had my moments, but on the whole I was awful at it. I quit playing in fifth grade to take up wrestling. I didnt get better at soccer until my mid twenties. Im still jot the best, but I have fun with it. As for Rugby, I like to think I am quite good at it. Others may disagree, but you would be hard pressed to find someone else as mean and hard hitting as I am.

[Broke bass fisherman]

This is called being a liberal.

Little overarching there don't you think. I'm a liberal and I believe there are winners and losers in everything. You think the kids don't understand winning and losing? I don't think U6 sports need to focus on winning and losing. Those times should be spent teaching the sport, the fundamentals, and sportsmanship. Looking at professional athletics these days it appears the only thing taught to them was win win win and not in the good way. Win at all cost, including unsportsmanlike ways, and then when you win gloat and showboat like you have no sense.

[flyfisher]

This is called being a liberal. 

What a dumb comment and has nothing to do with the original question but rather than make this political and break forum rules I will let it go.

I hate that everyone gets a trophy. Bottom line is some people are better than you and you will never be the best every night.

I am all about winning and have even thrown away trophies for 2nd or 3rd place in hoop it up tournaments. I am by no means a bad sport but to reward kids for trying is silly. Their reward is getting to play on the team and learn from players better than you are.

I was an education director at a boys and girls club for about 8 years and we would all play basketball and other sports. I never let a kid win and you know what, they tried harder and when they would beat me in a game of PIG or HORSE it actually meant something to them because they earned it.

Not everyone is athletic just like not everyone is book smart and not everyone can build a house. Everyone has talents and the only way to know is to try and fail and move on.

And while on the topic, what is with parents letting their kids quit mid season because they don't like it or aren't having fun. Total crap to me. You start a season you finish unless your grades aren't good.