In A Very Dark Place

[bkohlman]

Sounds rough man, I hope everything eventually turns out for the best.

[slonezp]

Keep Calm and Chive On?

Not even close to what I was thinking. I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

[deaknh03]

Not even close to what I was thinking. I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

Why?

[11justin22]

Man tough situation. I will be praying for u.

[Bassn Blvd]

Clayton, sorry to hear you're going through this. I did and it sux.

1. Hire an attorney.

2. Remember, a cheating wife doesn't always make for a bad mother. Don't bring the kids into this.

3. DO NOT get a soft heart and give her more than what your attorney says.

4. Be careful draining your accounts, continue paying the bills until your attorney says not to.

5. DO NOT play your kids against your wife.

6. DO NOT pump your kids for dirt on your wife or lover.

7. Keep all receipts, texts, e-mails phone message recordings.

8. KEEP A DIARY. Hearsay is not admissable in court, but diarys sometimes are.

9. Keep your friends close and talk. Don't keep sht bottled up inside.

10. Keep on movin' on, stay focused and be strong.

[Bassn Blvd]

oh I have our entire skype history backed up 3x plus screen shots of the texts she sent me coming forward everything since has been threw email. I have . ALOT of dirt on her id rather not have to bring it up but if her claws come out so will mine.

Man up, buddy. Bring it out. She betrayed YOU. This is no time to be soft hearted. Go for the jugglar(sp) and don't stop. Fight hard and fight mean, just don't involve the kids.

[clayton86]

Thanks guys

Iv been talking with friends I'm on gates today and been talking here and there with the guys. There surprised I'm not keeping it bottled up but I can't I will go nuts it's hard not to now as it is.

[Sfritr]

X2 - Yup.

A-Jay

X3 on this

[clayton86]

Yeah I hope so I'm being nice to her "killing her with kindness" as I was recommended. I just got off the phones with the banks and got all that squared away.

I'v puked I kid you not like 30 times today though just thinking bout things and the fact my youngest son knows another man more then me his father its sickening.

I'm trying to find the silver lining in all of this though like fishing now I will be able to fish without her bugging me to make sure I'm really fishing and not cheating yeah it was like that JF can contest to it when I had to have him send me the videos of us fishing to prove to her. I will actually save money now even though I'm giving her some support its only 25% not 99% what she had been spending on who knows what. I planned on buying some new rifles when I got home I can just do it now well once I know about lawyer fees but once all is said and done hey them new Revos yup they can be mine if I wish a .17 hot rod rifle for coyotes yup buy it with no consequences. I can actually get stuff for my boys with out asking her or having her tell me no so she can spend it else where. So I'm trying to find the positive in all this its extremely tough and not gonna lie I just randomly start crying doing things but oh well **** happens for a reason I guess.

[Nitrofreak]

Yeah I hope so I'm being nice to her "killing her with kindness" as I was recommended. I just got off the phones with the banks and got all that squared away.

I'v puked I kid you not like 30 times today though just thinking bout things and the fact my youngest son knows another man more then me his father its sickening.

I'm trying to find the silver lining in all of this though like fishing now I will be able to fish without her bugging me to make sure I'm really fishing and not cheating yeah it was like that JF can contest to it when I had to have him send me the videos of us fishing to prove to her. I will actually save money now even though I'm giving her some support its only 25% not 99% what she had been spending on who knows what. I planned on buying some new rifles when I got home I can just do it now well once I know about lawyer fees but once all is said and done hey them new Revos yup they can be mine if I wish a .17 hot rod rifle for coyotes yup buy it with no consequences. I can actually get stuff for my boys with out asking her or having her tell me no so she can spend it else where. So I'm trying to find the positive in all this its extremely tough and not gonna lie I just randomly start crying doing things but oh well **** happens for a reason I guess.

The silver lining is your son, nothing else matters, period !! end of discussion !!!!

Take what has been given to you by grace and be focused on that and let nothing stand between you and him, and I mean nothing !!!

Anyone can be a father my friend but it takes someone special to be a dad, so be a dad to that little boy and have a lot of fun with it, he will never forget that as long as he lives no matter the outcome of the outside world.

It makes no difference how much crap you can buy or the freedom you have found with out having to answer to someone else, you have one priority now and you need to protect that at all costs.

Don't second guess what she will do, you do it first.

It's only a dark place if you allow it to be a dark place, get up and get after it !!!

[clayton86]

oh I'm def going after my kids I grew up in a broken family wishing I seen my dad more I don't want my sons going threw that they mean the world to me if you couldn't tell by a lot of my posts and pictures there of my son. I have an appointment with a lawyer on the 5th at 2 it seems like an eternity away though. Those of you who have gone threw this IDK how you did it this is destroying me I haven't slept a wink and cant even eat my dinner was like 3 bites of a sandwich and a bottle of water its all I could get in without feeling sick and them 3 bites still took me 45 minutes to eat. Tomorrow should be a ball also I have a tower shift which is just me in a tower all alone with nothing but empty desert to stare off into and my mind will run wild should be fun........

The other thing I'm fighting within to is not getting self destructive ie smoking and drinking. There is no alcohol in Kuwait thank god I have got to fight the urge when I get home not to go back to the old me that seriously drank a 30 pack every evening just for a warm up before the hard liquor. I got about 6 weeks till I'm home so if I can make it that long I hope it will be strength not to hit up every bar on the way home where ever that may be haven't even figured that out yet considering I'm homeless now.

[Nitrofreak]

The toughest thing you will face is seeing her with someone else for the first time, STAY AWAY FROM THE BOOZE !!!!!!!!!

After that it's not so bad, look at it this way, this is only going to make you a much stronger adult, and a much better dad, I would find the good in that and be thankful of it, that is something she will never be able to get from you, EVER !!!

Every relationship has it's issues, i'm sure there was a reason you thought you needed a 30 pack before you got into the hard liquor, but that can no longer be a part of your life if you want this to work out for the best for your children, clear your mind and focus.

You have a job to do first, protect your brothers and sisters, they are your prioity right now, worry about the crap when you get done and get home.

[clayton86]

The toughest thing you will face is seeing her with someone else for the first time, STAY AWAY FROM THE BOOZE !!!!!!!!!

After that it's not so bad, look at it this way, this is only going to make you a much stronger adult, and a much better dad, I would find the good in that and be thankful of it, that is something she will never be able to get from you, EVER !!!

Every relationship has it's issues, i'm sure there was a reason you thought you needed a 30 pack before you got into the hard liquor, but that can no longer be a part of your life if you want this to work out for the best for your children, clear your mind and focus.

You have a job to do first, protect your brothers and sisters, they are your prioity right now, worry about the crap when you get done and get home.

That time was before her and I were ever together but another dark period of my life that looking back at now with this over my head that situation was nothing compared to this.

My dads been emailing me and we have been talking bout the whole situation and even still like I said bout him bad mouthing my mom he never has even now as hes sharing the divorce process with my mother he still isnt talking bad about her. Hes also re assuring me I can still be a father no matter what the out come but its gonna mean missed baseball games and such and will tear me apart at least it did to him not able to make all my games and other things growing up. Both my parents are aware now though my mom has known for a while before I did and she has just bit her tongue and even now shes and my dad are both respecting my wishes as I told them they can still talk to her and see the kids but not to say anything or be mean to her just to sty out and leave it between me and her but still see the kids when they want.

[Nitrofreak]

I hope and pray it works out for the very best for all of you, thoughts and prayers to you and your family !!!

Still, you have a job to do big guy, get er done, get home safe ALL OF YOU !!!

Deal with this crap then, I can tell you this, it is only what you want it to be, this is not a dark place, it's a new place, you have the only option on how to fill that place.

[clayton86]

yeah we got 6 weeks left roughly. Our chain of command hasn't put out a date yet but the rest of the battalion they all know December 15th well we cant leave with out them and vise versa. I pried on my Lt the other day and that's what he hinted to also was that date so hopefully soon.

I'm trying to deal with as much as possible here like I said I got a meeting with JAG Monday today I changed over all of my accounts the rest of the way and all my direct deposit info. I'v got my buddy who said he will also swing by after work this week to grab my fishing poles and my guns out of the apt which is all I have anyways none of my clothes fit anymore iv lost 40lbs since I had left in January so she can keep them this other guys fat like I used to be he can wear them hes wearing everything else of mine.....

[deaknh03]

It may seem dark now, but trust what myself and every guy on here is saying, it will be better for you. It is tough to see that now, but it will be, and you have to believe that. Believing that will give you a little glimmer of hope now, but will also help for it to happen later. Think of the good things that will happen in your future, think of them a couple of times a day, focus on them, think of them before you go to sleep, this will help, and they will become a reality for you.

[quanjig]

Your boys need to be the point of your focus now. They are going to have lots of questions and you need to be able to answer them! Not thru an alcoho induced haze. I know they are the center of your world and you need to show them that they can always count on their dad. I feel for you. You have to be everything to them so grab ahold of the big boy pants and make sure you have all of your information correct. Unfortunately, details matter in these situations so you need to have them all meticulously recorded. Good luck, get home safe. KTF