Genius Ideas

[Glenn]

32- year- old Florida native Edward Archibald made national news recently when he entered a competition to win a free python from a local pet store. Basically, whoever could eat the most roaches and worms won the snake... and Ed was the big winner after eating "dozens" of roaches and worms. We'd congratulate him but before he could claim his slithery prize, he died... after eating dozens of roaches and worms. Then there's Felix Baumgartner, the Red Bull skydiver who jumped out of a balloon 23 miles above the Earth. He freefalled for 22 of the 23 miles in an effort to break the sound barrier, which he did. Most of us have no plans to freefall 22 miles or eat roaches and worms, but it doesn't mean we haven't attempted something incredibly stupid just to be able to brag about it later. That's what I wanted to talk about today:

WHAT GENIUS IDEA DID YOU TRY AND WHO WERE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS?

[Zoff]

I got married at 20 years old. Does that count?

[K_Mac]

I was at a sand and gravel beach at Kentucky Lake years ago. It was early in the year and everyone was wading out ankle deep and whining about how cold the water was. I said, "let me show all you sissies how it's done" as I ran and dove into the water. What I didn't realize was the water was only a couple of inches deep until you were well off shore. I came up out of the water looking like I had been sandblasted. As I stood there with blood running down my face and chest, the rest of the group had a big laugh asking me to show them one more time. That was 25 years ago and it still comes up when talk turns to "genius ideas".

[J Francho]

Joined a rock band to impress girls.

[Jim_M]

Me and Curt rolled up in a big sheet of heavy plastic leaving just enough opening on the end for two hands. These hands were needed to manipulate a coffee can full of gasoline and

a box of kitchen matches....yeah. We had discovered a yellow jacket beehive in a foundation crack in my Grandpas barn. Poured the gas, struck the match...followed by a moderate

explosion. A few dozen or 300 bees discovered the "opening" few in and attempted to kill us both. Curt tried rolling right and I tried rolling left and the roll of plastic just got tighter. This

was all very unpleasant. Grampa worked hard to save the other half of his barn before turning his attention to us. Curt and I spent the next 36 hours or so hours in the hospital.

We were 9 years old and the rest of the summer of 1964 sucked.

[clayton86]

I know iv done some mighty stupid things in my day there all blurred together! I used to be in ski club as a snow boarder and every winter around Mardi Gras at the ski resort we would do underwear runs girls took there tops off guys we went down in just our boxers. wiping out sucked! I wiped out once doing it thought hey a jump im gonna hit it as fast as I can with this bottle of whiskey in my hand......I didn't spill a drop but had some nasty ice/rod rash on my arse.

Oh then theres the time we wrapped the 4 wheeler around a tree play "tag" on 4wheelers and dirt bikes threw the woods, jumped same 4 wheeler into the creek one summer also boy was his grandpa ticked about that lol. One of the extremely dumb things we did was empty shot gun shells and shoot eachother with wadding.....yup not the brightest crayons in the box lol. Oh we got our hands on a taser as well in our teenage years....Jackass and CKY was a big when we were in our young teens lol.

[Traveler2586]

I got married at 20 years old. Does that count?

That's probably the only reason your alive today

[Zoff]

That's probably the only reason your alive today

Nope... ... the 2nd one is the reason.

[BassinLou]

Here's a good one. When I was kid my friend and I had slingshots. So we did what kids do with sling shots, we shot at objects and lizards. This one particular day we saw this nice lizard on a big oak tree so my friend and I got on opposite sides of the oak tree. We failed to notice that we both stood looking at each other with the lizard level to us, we took aim and you can figure out the rest... ouch. And yes we missed the lizard.

[CoBass]

Here's a good one. When I was kid my friend and I had slingshots. So we did what kids do with sling shots, we shot at objects and lizards. This one particular day we saw this nice lizard on a big oak tree so my friend and I got on opposite sides of the oak tree. We failed to notice that we both stood looking at each other with the lizard level to us, we took aim and you can figure out the rest... ouch. And yes we missed the lizard.

At least the lizard got a good laugh at your expense. We used to shoot firecrackers at each other with our slingshots. You had to be pretty quick to get it lit, draw back, aim and fire before the firecracker went off in your hand. Needless to say, it only took being too slow once before the game lost its appeal and we moved onto the next stupid idea.

[Bassn Blvd]

Me and Curt rolled up in a big sheet of heavy plastic leaving just enough opening on the end for two hands. These hands were needed to manipulate a coffee can full of gasoline and

a box of kitchen matches....yeah. We had discovered a yellow jacket beehive in a foundation crack in my Grandpas barn. Poured the gas, struck the match...followed by a moderate

explosion. A few dozen or 300 bees discovered the "opening" few in and attempted to kill us both. Curt tried rolling right and I tried rolling left and the roll of plastic just got tighter. This

was all very unpleasant. Grampa worked hard to save the other half of his barn before turning his attention to us. Curt and I spent the next 36 hours or so hours in the hospital.

We were 9 years old and the rest of the summer of 1964 sucked.

Winner winner, chicken dinner!

[Tuckahoe Joe]

Put an M-80 in my rainspout once. Ended up knocking the thing down and sending shards of shrapnel all over the place. There was a chunk about the size of a silver dollar stuck in one of my wooden awning posts. Lucky no one got hurt.

[loodkop]

I hid behind the carport until my parents left for work. "Borrowed" my mother's car to go fishing. Got stuck in mud up to the axle. Had to walk home to phone my Dad who took me to school after setting me back on the straight and narrow for at least a week.

[Zoff]

At least the lizard got a good laugh at your expense.

The question is... Did they buy insurance from him later?

[Traveler2586]

OK, it took me a while to decide which of my many, many, many dumb stunts would fit this thread and my winner is - - - the time when I was a kid (around 6th or 7th grade) when the girl next door and I decided it would be fun to put 22's on the sidewalk and hit the back end of them with a hammer; we would get a loud bang and sometimes the bullet would go whirling off into the distance. She got a cut on her ankle from one of the rounds.

[BassinLou]

Good one Zoff!!

[retiredbosn]

I'll stay on the mild side with this one. On two different occassions I "borrowed" a car, a 1974 Ford Galaxy four door, we called it the baby mobile. Mainly due to the fact it was baby crap brown with baby spit up colored vinyl roof. Anyway a buddy of mine decided on a cold Feburary morning we were bored and seeing that schooled was called off anyway decided to go bust snow drifts, well after a rousing round of busting the drifts we hit one that had partially melted and refroze! We ended up on the top of the drift about 8 feet above the pavement!!! Not good, we talked his grandfather into going out and pulling the car off of the drift, ummm didn't work but we did manage to bust two logging chains. Mom shows up about dark, and asks where the car is, I simply walkout the back door, point across the field and about a mile out you can see the car floating in the air!!! From that angle youcouldn't see the drift!!!!

Mom made the mistake of leaving the keys laying around again but this time it was summer, we again borrowed the car and joy rode through our hay fields, got it back home and washed it. Mom comes home and thanks us for washing the baby mobile, about a week later grass starts sprouting out of the bumpers!!! busted again. :respect-059:

[Jake P]

We had a vacant house next to my moms that finally got torn down when I was about 12 leaving an empty grass field. Me and my 2 neighborhood buddies decided to dig trenches and some 1 man, 5 ft deep holes in the ground to hide in.....with our paintball guns. We thought it would be funny to shoot cars as they drove down the street. Since the lot was on an uphill slope, you could not see us or the holes we had dug from the street below.

We got ready one evening and waited for the first car. My buddy peaks up out of his trench and lets off 2 shots that nail the car right on the rear passenger window. The driver of the unmarked crown vic was a Fort Worth Detective. He immediately got out and walked right up the trenches we were slumped down in laughing and showed his badge. Luckily he was a nice guy and the only legal punishment we had was filling the holes we had dug. My mom however grounded me for the remainder of the summer with no Nintendo or TV.

I have done way worse things but It wouldnt be acceptable for this forum lol.

[Bankbeater]

I guess I was about 9 or 10. We had some wood stacked up in the back behind the shed that had gotten ants in it. I decided to burn the ants out so I started a small fire in the woodpile. After a while with the fire just smoldering I decided to push some of the wood around in the pile. Well when I did that the fire got some air and took off. Luckily there was a garden hose nearby and I was able to put out the fire before it got into the shed. Since I am still here I can pretty well guess that my parents never found out about it.

[Tokyo Tony]

Having firework wars with the neighbor kids. Putting mortars into pvc pipes, holding them like bazookas and firing them at each other. Big mortars that'll take your hand off.

My friend pooped in a ziplock bag and we put it in the road to watch a car run over it. When no cars did, we left, and later my mom drove over it when she was driving me somewhere. Not that dumb, but kinda funny.

Gathering my dad's half-smoked cigarettes in a ziplock then hiding in the woods and smoking them all with my friends when we were like 12. Thankfully we didn't know how to inhale so we didn't get addicted...yet.

Best times ever though.

[CoBass]

Retiredbosn's post reminded me of another genius idea from my youth. When I was fifteen, me and a couple of buddies used to sneak out in the middle of the night and "borrow" one of our parents cars. Three fifteen year old unlicensed drivers joyriding around in the middle of the night. What could go wrong? One night we borrowed my friends dads brand new bronco. I was driving and when I pulled up to a red light a cop rolled up right next to us. We were all doing our best ignore the cop next to us acting job when he put his car in reverse, backs up and shines his spotlight on the license plate. We all thought we were done for. Light turns green and he speeds off. Giant sighs of relief all around. Turns out the temporary tag on his dad's new bronco was one day from expiring. If we had "borrowed" that car one day later we would have been busted for sure. We did get caught by our parents a few months later but at least they didn't get the come down to the police station and pick up your kid and you car call.