Gut Feelings

[Jake P]

It's been addressed probably 100 times over the last 2 months everyday. She says they are just "friends" but for being "friends" she acts awfully weird about it. I'v meet the guy he came over with my sister to watch movies the other night it took every ounce i had not to drill him in the face after shaking his hand. But for the last 2 months like while I was gone my wife stopped talking to me and when we did talk she would pick a easy fight and quickly revert to divorce is the only way to solve it which makes me think she has another guy then I came home and found out there is another guy shes been hanging out with.

Shes usually with my sister when she hangs out with this guy but I don't trust my sister. Shes open about having him as a friend and he made the effort to come meet me and assure me nothings going on but it still seems fishy all she does is talk about this Brandon guy and goes over to his house almost every night or to pick him up from the bar and either doesn't come home or gets home at 4 in the morning. I told her the other day she couldn't go over to his house she just laughed at me and when we got home she got all dolled up and left till 3am and she left at 8pm. She wont let me see her phone either when I ask to see what they are texting about all day. it just seems very odd.

I'm most worked up about because shes going to a wedding with this guy Saturday and she looks AMAZING in the dress shes wearing to it a tiny low cut black dress with some like 8" red stilleto's. I think its a little much but they swear there just going as friends its his sisters wedding. I just have a weird feeling about the whole thing maybe its just a stage shes in she is young and she does always go with my sister who just turned 21 and is all about partying and drinking and we did get married really young I was 21 she was 18 about to turn 19 never got to really party even though she was a hard partier in high school as was I but I'm over it i grew up settled down and started my family. every time we talk about it and if shes cheating she freaks saying she never would ans i cant say anything sense I was the one who did leave her 3 years ago for 2 months and was sleeping with some one else. IDK hopefully im just over reacting but there's a lot of red flags that say I'm probably right.

This is strictly my opinion from what the information you have given.

Even IF nothing is happening between the 2 of them, her actions towards you are EXTREMELY disrespectful. Let me put it this way. If my wife was overseas for months on end away from me, her family and our kids and she even had the slightest thought that some type of foul play was going on with me, I would give her every thing she asked for and answer every single question without anger or hesitation. IF i really wasnt fooling around that is. I would want to give her piece of mind so that when she went back overseas to fight for my kids freedom that I am a faithful husband. Feel me? Just my 2 cents though.

If i knew for a stone cold fact that my wife was not having a physical relationship with a man, but she was allowing him in my house to hang out with her when i am not home, that would be unacceptable Around your kids, sitting on your couch without you there. No sir, no way. If she is out with him at 4 in the morning, who is with your kids? She goes to his house every night? Again, if my wife went to another mans house, they would both be in some SERIOUS trouble. On top if that, if I asked my wife to stop going to another mans house while she is married to me and she laughed at me? I would be in jail. Not letting you see her phone is a dead give away. I used to date a girl who played that crap, when she went to the bathroom i would check and there would be texts from her ex that she swore up and down to god nd her mother she didnt talk to anymore.

Even if this guy has looked you in the eye and told you straight up he is not messing with your wife, do you believe him? Do you think he would tell you yes if he was? Do you think she would? Obviously not. Out of pure respect she should not be hanging around with another man whether you are overseas in the military or on the night shift at wally world. Hand shakes dont mean what they used to, I wouldnt trust this guy. Dont ignore this man, check into it more. Again, sorry if i seem like an A hole but i have been in the EXACT same situation as you. it was exactly what my friends and family told me it was and exactly what i tried to convince myself it wasnt. I hope I am wrong and everything is ok, but dont ignore it and try and tell yourself your over reacting. Pm me if you need anything man. Anytime.

[Jake P]

1 more thing. Guys and girls are not "just friends". Maybe on facebook or Twitter or at work. I have never seen a man and woman hang out together in a non social, 1 on 1 setting multiple times and be "just friends". Obviously something attracts them to eachother to want to hang out so much and I can assure you it aint their political views.

[NoBassPro]

1 more thing. Guys and girls are not "just friends". Maybe on facebook or Twitter or at work. I have never seen a man and woman hang out together in a non social, 1 on 1 setting multiple times and be "just friends". Obviously something attracts them to eachother to want to hang out so much and I can assure you it aint their political views.

Well, it might be "just friends" to one, but the other is always at least hoping for more ime.

[clayton86]

Well, it might be "just friends" to one, but the other is always at least hoping for more ime.

hell I don't care if he is friendzoned by my wife lol I trust her I don't trust him and I am a very trusting person I like to give everyone the benefit of doubt and try not to let stuff get to me because there is nothing I can do to change it if its gonna happen its gonna happen regardless of what the situation is.

[Bassn Blvd]

Clayton, I don't intend this to be disrespectful towards you, but man up bro. You have some serious issues with your marriage that needs immediate attention or perhaps counseling, which I don't really believe in. It is very easy (and normal) for you to be blind as to what is taking place. The main reason is because you obviously have a deep love for your wife. It sounds like she has found a way to manipulate you into believing in her while at the same time she's taking full advantage of your love and good heart.

I'm praying that I and EVERYONE else who's responded to your post is wrong. Bro, not one reply from anyone has been in her favor. That should tell you something. Look, you're going to do what you want to do and there isn't enough advice in the world to get you to see this situation any different than the way you see it. No one wants to be taken advantage of, but sometimes we can be blind to what's going on around us because we can't phathom that our loved one could betray our wedding vows/love. IT HAPPENS.

Unless this guy is a full blown homosexual then he has no business what so ever hanging out with YOUR wife. Trust me/us, he (or she) has ulterior motives and they arent going to be pleasant. Think about it, this "relationship" could turn exremely ugly to the point that it gets physical and someone gets seriously hurt.

I hope we're wrong for your sake, but unless there is ALOT more to this story then I doubt it.

How would your wife feel if she came home and found you and a strange girl sitting on your couch drinking and having a fun ol' time? Would she think yall are just "innocent" friends? How would she respond if the roles were reversed and it was you doing the same exact thing she's doing?

I'm sorry if my candidness offended you, it's not my intention. I just want to make sure that I/we have done/said everything possible to help you out.

If you really, really have to have hard evidence, then instal hidden cameras. I would never consider doing this for myself, but some people just "have to know." My good friend's brother installed cameras and hidden recorders because he suspected his wife was cheating, even after she swore she wasn't and still showed him affection. His findings proved she was having an affair and he had one heck of a time getting what he heard on the recordings out of his mind. They gave him nightmares.

On a lighter note, this sounds like a typical Jerry Springer show, lol.

Good luck and I wish the best for you and your family.

[Bassn Blvd]

Ok, one more thing and then I'm done. You yourself said that her parents have told her that they would disown her if she ever screwed up yalls marriage by having an affair. You said her parents would rather have you as a son instead of her as a daughter if she cheated. Heck bro, don't you think that is a good enough reason for her to lie about what's going on? Let me tell ya something, I lie to people every single day in my job. I have become very good at it and it's not something I'm proud of. I have to or it could be my life. The more a person has to lose, the better they will lie/deceive.

Some people just can't put their lust aside, regardless of the consequences. Therefore, they will go out of their way to make sure everything is on the up and up with their spouse and flat out lie. Once again, I'm not accusing your wife of doing this, but your version of what's taking place sure makes her look guilty.

Someone mentioned about going to get advice/counseling in person and not from cyberspace. I think that's good advice. Go see a neutral person, not someone who will take sides or tell you what you "want" to hear. Im not military, but don't they have guidance counselors or something of that nature?

[tomustang]

You know clay, just on what your posted here it seems either your very paranoid or your wife is running around on you.

[Jig Meister]

Clayton I don't personally know you, but I have talked with you on here and you seem like a class act.

From only what I have read in your post things are not right. My wife and I have thing understanding, no opposite sex friends, it just never works out. She and I both believe this.

My heart goes out to you from reading this post, and my blood is boiling over some of the things I have read. I would have already physically assaulted this guy by now as I do not have control over myself like you seem to.

Again, from what I have read things are not right, you need to seriously sit down, and consider your life without here. You do not want your kids to be around this type of drama.

My gut says she is doing something behind your back, might not be physical, but defiantly seems emotional. Emotional affairs are almost worse, and happen far more often.

I am sure you hurt, but pain in only temporary and you shouldn't have to keep revisiting this type of thing in your life.

I hope things work out, I personally would tell her get rid of him or I am gone, maybe that is selfish, but what she is doing is wrong is so many ways.

Good luck brother, if you need to vent come at me, I have invested a lot of time into my relationship with my wife and we work really hard together to keep it going well. I can offer any advice, if you ever want to hear it.

Keep us updated however it turns out.

Tight lines.

[clayton86]

Well last night we had a long talk laying in bed and after the wedding shes not gonna hang out with him anymore because she said its not fair to me. She said if it was the other way around and I had a lady friend she would be ticked so its not fair to me that she has a friend like that while I'm gone. She promised to start emailing me everyday again because she had stopped we had a thing I kept up with it she let it slip but we both sent each other a email everyday while I was gone I still did it every day I set time aside to email her and was always sending packages home for her and the boys or flowers for her and I have only gotten 1 care package sense iv been gone so she swore to step it up and start writing me more. So hopefully she keeps her word and wont hang out with him anymore I got a guy on the inside that plays on the same football team as him in the local adult league and frequents the same bar so if anything is going on he will know about it and he happens to be my best friend and was my best man in our wedding, He said he knew about them being friends and said he had already keeping an eye and ear out looking out for me.

[Daddyodo]

As a general rule, single guys don't invest that much time with someone else's wife unless there's some kind of "reward". If there's nothing going on between them right now, it's just because the right opportunity hasn't presented itself.

I agree !!

[roadwarrior]

This one's over...

Good luck!