My first wife....We dated for 2 years, lived together for 1 1/2 years of that. We talked about everything. She had been married before and had a daughter. They divorced after 6 years. She said he was abusive and a cheat.
We discussed having children together, and she said she really wanted to have children with me. She said she was proud of me and what I had accomplished in life. I was very much in love with her, and adored her daughter and wanted to adopt her. We got engaged and I bought her a flawless 1/2 carat engagement ring. A week later she took it back to the jewelry store and swapped it for a very gaudy, and very flawed 1 carat diamond ring. That should have been my first clue about her character....We go married, and she shortly informed me she was going to have her tubes tied so she could not have any more children. This was NOT a medical necessity...she just decided she didn't want more kids. This should have been my second clue, but I was in love with her or so I thought. She then said I didn't make enough money and I needed to get a second job to provide for our family. OK...second job it is. Then that was not enough, so I got a third job. Still not enough money. (This took place over a period of several years...it did not happen all at once.) STILL not enough money. So I changed careers and took a job that paid about 35% more than I could make with the 3 jobs I had been working...but I had to travel a lot for work and was often gone from Monday to Friday. I started to not know who I was, and I was not happy. She thought that was great.....Then I found out that 1) Since she had power of attorney for me so she could handle the bills while I was on the road, she had opened up 6 credit cards in my name (I had a 795 credit rating at that time) and had maxed them all out. I didn't know for a long time, as she got and "handled" all the bills. I found out when our landlady asked when I was going to catch up on the rent that was 3 months behind, and I started checking into things. I found out I was $60,000 in debt. 2) I also found out she had been a serial cheater with at least 3 men if not more. I told her she could be someone else's mistress or my wife, but not both. I also said she would have to get a job to help pay off the debt she had created. She refused. I told her she had the next week to move out and when I got home the next Saturday she had indeed moved out...and taken everything...including the curtains, light bulbs, towels....I had a bed, a kitchen table and chair (singular...she took 3 of them). She took all the dishes, pots and pans and silverware. And the car. The divorce was NOT amicable, cost me a lot, and she got off owing nothing and I was stuck with every bill. It took me 4 years of working 80-100 hour weeks to get out of debt. Still very glad that is over. Current wife is a lady I dated when she was 18 and I was 24. I thought she was fantastic then, but felt the age difference was too great (at that time), and I broke up with her. 5 years after my divorce we got back together. 7 months later we were married. Best thing that ever happened to me. 11 years now and still going strong. She respects and loves and supports me, and I love, respect and support her. Do we sometimes have problems? Sure. But we are honest with each other and that makes all the difference in the world.