~ "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." - Jerry Seinfeld
~ "I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him." - Ben Bailey
~ "The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. -Jay Leno