I have never drank.BUT i have been a part time bartender to make ends meet.Tips are good (most times) and most drunks are easy enough to handle..Also i enjoy doing it,go figure.
Now we just had MadiGras and here in St.Louis we take that stuff serious...lol..we have the second largest Madi Gras..of course New Orleans has the biggest....
Okay i had worked about a 11 hour day,made good money was just tired and wanted to get home and change...had my monkey suite on vest,jacket,tie,etc..WELL i was walking to my truck and i here a noise like someone hitting and dang tether ball..i come around the corner and this guy has a handle full of ( i find out later ) his wifes blond hair.Which isnt all the way blond anymore because of the blood..Just for a heartbeat i almost drew down on him ( i had my Sig P220 )..Then i considered just getting in the truck,but couldnt.They were next to a dumpster kinda outa sight,so i came up on his blind side and just shouted 'HEY!!' and he spun and looked at me and i hit him,hard.Well he folded up and started down i grabbed him and rode him down my leg.I didnt want his dang head bouncing off the concrete.
Well as im standing there i dialed 911 and gave em a brief rundown and hung up to go check on her.Next thing i know she is on my back like a monkey on crack stabbing me with a finger nail file...yep a metal finger nail file..Someone other than myself must have seen it and called the cops becasue in 10 seconds there was two cop cars..They pull her off my back and he is start to come around so it got crazy.After about 10 mins of conversation it was all sorted out and she is still bleeding like crazy..they are sooooo drunk they are now crying and hugging..HE wanted ME arrested.The cops had a little common sense and told them that we WOULD ALL just go to jail..I didnt really get hurt.The jacket and vest took most of the damage but i was still bleeding in a few spots,but i just wanted to go home.
I started to walk away and the sergant that ended up there kinda pulled me to one side and started laughing his butt off. I didnt see anything funny.He just wanted me to know that there is a reason cops hate going to a domestic dispute because crazy crap goes on all the time.He said he knew i was telling the truth..He then warned me next time call 911 first not after and maybe i should consider not getting involved if there is ever a next time.
If there is a next time it will have to be BAD before i step in and i will have my gun in my hand,because someone will have to killing someone before i play Dudley Do Right again.
Oh and what made me think of this is was i was just working out and all the d**n places she got me were itching and burnin' ...