Get it out....know how you feel....definitely. I was almost flower food this last year with acute pancreatitis and it was an awful road. For months sat on a couch and took pain meds. Then we lose our daughter to cancer. Life has it's lows for sure and it's just human nature to desire health and some of it's pleasures. Does make you realize when your in this spot what's important. My motto is God, family and fishing. As long as we're breathing there is hope. The best to you and your family and Merry Christmas. May God Bless.