A cop is parked across the street from a bar at closing time looking to pull over some drunk drivers. He sees a man, who's obviously plastered, walk out into the parking lot. The man is stumbling all over the place for a good 10 or 15 minutes. After trying his key in several different cars, he finally finds his own, gets in, and fumbles with the ignition. While this is happening, the other bar patrons also head to their cars and drive away but the cop thinks 'this guy is really messed up...if I let him drive he may kill someone'. So he waits. The parking lot empties and finally the gentleman pulls out of the parking lot. As soon as he gets on the road the officer pulls him over. He asks him to step out of the vehicle and proceeds to administer the standard DUI tests. Stand on one leg, say your ABC's backwards, walk a strait line, and all that. Surprisingly the man aces each test without a problem. Completely stunned, the cop asks the man to take a breathalyzer test. The man complies, blows into the device and much to the officers amazement, the meter reads 0.0. The cop says 'what's going on here? I could have sworn you were 10 sheets to the wind!'. The man gives the officer a wry smile and replies 'I'm the designated decoy'.
