I'm curious. You mentioned this earlier in your initial post...
"...her assistant at work (a young guy my age) ..."
Are you two roughly the same age or is there a significant difference? (Not that it should matter anyway).
I think the counseling idea is something to investigate. Having a neutral person who's role is to listen, moderate and offer nonjudgmental and unbiased advice might be what the two of you need right now. Many counselors will work on a sliding scale if the cost is prohibitive.
I wish you both good luck and God Bless.