Dealing with a crabby boss..

[DitchPanda]

 So I've been working at an Ethanol plant for about 8 years. In that time I've moved up from operator 1 to lead plant technician 3. That entire time I've had a good relationship with my boss and in that time he's moved from Ops manager to Plant manager. In fact he and our general manager created a new position for me so I can focus on some more high level projects instead of the day to day samples and truck loading monotony.

 Of course over the years we have had a few disputes/arguments but we have always worked them out relatively easily. Then a few weeks back he crossed the line. He was unhappy with a shutdown result so he came into the control room in front of some techs that I lead and scolded me. Disciplining somebody in front of others is unprofessional period...especially when its done in an aggressive, accusatory manner with profanity. Now I'm not one to get my feelings hurt but I gotta be honest I was taken aback by this.

 Well fast forward a few days and I found out that after my interaction with him he was rude to my supervisor in the same way in front of his operators. He ended up talking to us and apologizing to us for his unprofessional behavior. Then yesterday he was talking to me about coverage on today's day crew. He knew the scheduled supervisor was out on vacation so he went about it in an offhand way to try and guilt me into coming in. When I didnt offer to come in he got pissy and walked away.

 So what I wanna do is schedule a meeting with him and say hey as#%&-+ why are you trying to run your best people off? What's your F ing problem? Obviously for the sake of professionalism and possibly my job I'm not going to do that. I'm looking for advice on the right way to approach this?

 

[cyclops2]

He has been ordered to reduce the workforce under his control.    It is the time of the year for layoffs & workforce reductions.

[TnRiver46]

I would just smile, put my head down and go to work. Not very specific advice but……… you can’t hardly get in trouble for it. My boss is ornery and thinks the whole world is out to get him, I just try to ignore it 

[Captain Phil]

When others are out of control, it's best to stay under control.  It sounds like this fellow is under a lot of pressure.  Stay calm, sit down and tell him you understand this may be the case.  Don't be confrontational.   If you can't work this out, it may be time to move on.  

[Kirtley Howe]

Since this is out of character for him (you said you always got along pretty well), I would try asking him what is going on in his life. assuming you are close enough to talk to him about personal matters.   Could be problems at home (divorce, illness in family, problems with the kids, money problems). Any of those things could result in the behavior you mentioned. Could be he could use someone to talk to.

[gim]

Never mind

[DitchPanda]

31 minutes ago, cyclops2 said:

He has been ordered to reduce the workforce under his control.    It is the time of the year for layoffs & workforce reductions.

Find that hard to believe since we are hiring for several positions and he created a new position specifically for me.

28 minutes ago, TnRiver46 said:

I would just smile, put my head down and go to work. Not very specific advice but……… you can’t hardly get in trouble for it. My boss is ornery and thinks the whole world is out to get him, I just try to ignore it 

I wish this was possible for me and I envy people that can do this but I'm just not wired to allow people to treat me like scrap or walk all over me...its not in my DNA.

 

28 minutes ago, Captain Phil said:

When others are out of control, it's best to stay under control.  It sounds like this fellow is under a lot of pressure.  Stay calm, sit down and tell him you understand this may be the case.  Don't be confrontational.   If you can't work this out, it may be time to move on.  

I'm trying my best!

 

24 minutes ago, Kirt Howe said:

Since this is out of character for him (you said you always got along pretty well), I would try asking him what is going on in his life. assuming you are close enough to talk to him about personal matters.   Could be problems at home (divorce, illness in family, problems with the kids, money problems). Any of those things could result in the behavior you mentioned. Could be he could use someone to talk to.

I believe we are at that level..I mean we talk about sports and music outside of work so there is at least some level of friendship..and we've known each other a long time. I also wondered if he had personal issues but never really allowed that thought to fully develop because I don't condone treating people like sh#$ because your outside life sucks. But on the other hand you may be right..it may be a cry for help type deal where he needs an ear.

[gim]

I think that what happens between supervisor and worker should remain that way. Scolding or barking in front of co workers is disrespectful and inappropriate.

 

You as the worker have a lot of leverage in this labor market.

[WisconsinF]

I would say...."Hey, you seem to be under a lot of stress / pressure these days. Is there anything I can do to help?"..... then follow that up with a...... "Let me take you fishing soon"

[TOXIC]

Just my opinion but you are over reacting and letting your ego get in the way of common sense.  I have had my azz chewed in front of co workers and I have managed 300 employees.  While I would never criticize in front of others, it’s not the end of the world.  The old saying is “Criticize in private, praise in public”.  The fact you want to confront him is proof enough you will probably do more harm than good.  Let it slide and take the high road.  If it continues then you can examine other options.

[A-Jay]

 I'm going with @TOXIC on this one.

Not enough there (yet) to justify any further action.

Being an "exemplary employee" is something to strive for

and is often the best course of action.

I been on both sides of this deal.

Admittedly I didn't handle the first few opportunities very well.

Felt good & 'right' at the time, but looking back it's was clearly as sign of inexperience on my part.

And I ended up  'getting the worst of it'; probably deserved it too.

But I learned.  

Time is the ultimate teacher.

Good Luck

A-Jay

[Bird]

Some people are simply hard to work with and never change. 

My FIL who I adore and is a very nice person becomes an absolute tyrant when helping him do a project......profanity, throwing tools, impatient. 

When the job is done, he's right back to mellow yellow.

I've helped him do projects for 38 years and he's not changed.

Just something to consider. 

[12poundbass]

At peak this year there were 12 I was responsible for and this coming dig season upwards of 24. There were a few times this year where we had people on PTO and others who had called in at the same time and it’s VERY stressful especially at peak season. When situations like this happens of course nothing goes right those days which adds to the already stressful situation. There were times where I’m sure the missing people knew my frustration, I’ll add these people who knew my frustration are the frequent fliers when it comes to calling in. 
 

I try very very hard not to let my stress get the best of me especially towards my team but sometimes it just happens. There’s only one time where I’ve let an employee have it and that was only after he started in on me, but it happened between he and I over the phone. He was a major liability to our company and the public so I didn’t feel too bad. I have never and will never get after someone in front of anyone else. 
 

I wouldn’t look much into yet especially since you’ve had a good working relationship to this point. If it were to continue I’d be looking at options and proceed from there. 

[flyfisher]

The advice here so far is solid.  Nobody is perfect and everyone has bad days.  This supervisor has shown me that he is a good guy simply by acknowledging his mistake and apologizing.  A lot of people don't do that.  As far as the guilting you to come in, it is what it is.  They are short staffed and needed people.  You don't want to do it, you don't do it and move on.  Him being in a bad mood because of it isn't your concern.  I am sure there are times when you have a bad day too or the people who report to you think you are and you don't even realize it.  

 

Just keep plugging along and doing your best and if it gets worse, you start looking for other opportunities.  

[DitchPanda]

 I agree that my defensiveness is a problem and that confronting him about it will probably only lead to a bad situation. However the issue I'm having is the hypocrisy of the entire deal. There are work mantras plastered on our walls saying..we park our egos at the door..everyone is equal nobody is better than anybody...we are all here to work towards the same goal. Then a manager goes and does something like that and it lessens the impact of those statements by basically saying I'm the boss so those sayings don't apply to me because I'm above the rules that I implemented. To me its a sad display of power.

 Again I agree that its best to just move past it. Its difficult for me but getting into a ticking match with my boss is pointless. Guess if it doesn't improve I can find a new job then be frank with the management team about why I'm leaving.

 In reality I probably just needed to vent so thank you guys for listening to my ranting. I know I'm gonna just move past it and keep on trucking. Age has tempered my aggressive tendency thankfully. 10 years ago I would have told him to go F himself and dared him to escort me off the property. I'm glad I put more thought into it these days.

[throttleplate]

working in vegas in a mechanic shop the owner came in and got into an arguement with and employee and fired him in front of us in the shop.

The employee started to get pushy and next thing they were on the floor fighting. Myself and 4 other mechanics stood 10 feet from them and watched.

When it was over we laid the owner on a creeper and rolled him out into a vehicle. His wife drove him to the hospitol, he had surgery to put his broken ankle back together.

Days later he comes in with a bunch of mexican food for us to eat together and speaks to us and asked why didnt we step in to help him. We knew why and we all just blew off answering him. He knew the answer.

[12poundbass]

1 hour ago, DitchPanda said:

 I agree that my defensiveness is a problem and that confronting him about it will probably only lead to a bad situation. However the issue I'm having is the hypocrisy of the entire deal. There are work mantras plastered on our walls saying..we park our egos at the door..everyone is equal nobody is better than anybody...we are all here to work towards the same goal. Then a manager goes and does something like that and it lessens the impact of those statements by basically saying I'm the boss so those sayings don't apply to me because I'm above the rules that I implemented. To me its a sad display of power.

 Again I agree that its best to just move past it. Its difficult for me but getting into a ticking match with my boss is pointless. Guess if it doesn't improve I can find a new job then be frank with the management team about why I'm leaving.

 In reality I probably just needed to vent so thank you guys for listening to my ranting. I know I'm gonna just move past it and keep on trucking. Age has tempered my aggressive tendency thankfully. 10 years ago I would have told him to go F himself and dared him to escort me off the property. I'm glad I put more thought into it these days.

Those signs are great and are trying to set an example and standard, but let’s face it no matter how much it’s pounded into everyone’s head life happens, stress happens. We’re human and things are going to happen. 
 

Sounds like you’re coming off the ledge, like you said you just needed to vent, sounds like it’s working. 

[DitchPanda]

17 minutes ago, 12poundbass said:

Those signs are great and are trying to set an example and standard, but let’s face it no matter how much it’s pounded into everyone’s head life happens, stress happens. We’re human and things are going to happen. 
 

Sounds like you’re coming off the ledge, like you said you just needed to vent, sounds like it’s working. 

Things like that never happen with me I'm always calm and level headed and never take things out on people (he says sarcastically)

[FishinBuck07]

Just throat punch him!?

[TnRiver46]

Yeah……… gonna need you to come in on Saturday………. Ok……..

[DitchPanda]

26 minutes ago, TnRiver46 said:

Yeah……… gonna need you to come in on Saturday………. Ok……..

He's kinda like that guy..but..you know...not funny

[Koz]

As someone who is the boss where I work, I might have a slightly different take. First off, it was inappropriate for you to be called out in front of others. Hopefully the resulting apology was done in front of everyone who was there when you were called out.

 

Part of being a manager is being tight lipped about a lot of things whether that be work, personal life, or both. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and it just catches up with you. You have a million things to do, no time to do them, and then something pops up that you think should have been easily handled and the next thing you know you could have handled the situation better.

 

As much as we try, we're not made of stone. We're human. We make mistakes. But understand that it's nothing personal. Sometimes life just catches up with us.

[DitchPanda]

4 minutes ago, Koz said:

As someone who is the boss where I work, I might have a slightly different take. First off, it was inappropriate for you to be called out in front of others. Hopefully the resulting apology was done in front of everyone who was there when you were called out.

 

Part of being a manager is being tight lipped about a lot of things whether that be work, personal life, or both. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and it just catches up with you. You have a million things to do, no time to do them, and then something pops up that you think should have been easily handled and the next thing you know you could have handled the situation better.

 

As much as we try, we're not made of stone. We're human. We make mistakes. But understand that it's nothing personal. Sometimes life just catches up with us.

That's a fair point and one that is not lost on me. But the common thing I keep seeing in these responses is maybe he's dealing with alot of stress. My question is just because I'm not a boss does that mean I don't deal with stress at work and home? Also lets say I talked to him that way..think he would have just waited for my apology or would I have been punished?

 Case in point I was unjustly confronted by a supervisor several years ago in a room full of my peers and I was confrontational back. I admitted my fault in the situation and apologized...also my supervisor went to bat for me saying I was provoked and disrespected. Even after all that my job was still threatened..I honestly thought I may be fired. The guy that threatened my job? The guy that just did this to me a few weeks ago. Just trying to figure out why the rules don't apply to everybody. Maybe he should suspend himself for 2 weeks without pay. Job title doesn't put you above the law.

[Koz]

4 minutes ago, DitchPanda said:

That's a fair point and one that is not lost on me. But the common thing I keep seeing in these responses is maybe he's dealing with alot of stress. My question is just because I'm not a boss does that mean I don't deal with stress at work and home? Also lets say I talked to him that way..think he would have just waited for my apology or would I have been punished?

 Case in point I was unjustly confronted by a supervisor several years ago in a room full of my peers and I was confrontational back. I admitted my fault in the situation and apologized...also my supervisor went to bat for me saying I was provoked and disrespected. Even after all that my job was still threatened..I honestly thought I may be fired. The guy that threatened my job? The guy that just did this to me a few weeks ago. Just trying to figure out why the rules don't apply to everybody. Maybe he should suspend himself for 2 weeks without pay. Job title doesn't put you above the law.

That sound like it might be an issue for Human Resources.

 

Years ago I had a hotel owner chew me out a little bit in our kitchen with one of the line cooks present. When he finished, I asked him to come to my office. I told him that he could chew me out all he wanted or he could even fire me, but it was inappropriate to do that in front of my team.

 

The owner actually started crying and apologized, then went to the line cook and apologized. He was right about what needed to be corrected in the kitchen, but he made a mistake and went about it the wrong way. It happens. I forgave him and it was over, done with, gone.

[DitchPanda]

7 minutes ago, Koz said:

That sound like it might be an issue for Human Resources.

 

Years ago I had a hotel owner chew me out a little bit in our kitchen with one of the line cooks present. When he finished, I asked him to come to my office. I told him that he could chew me out all he wanted or he could even fire me, but it was inappropriate to do that in front of my team.

 

The owner actually started crying and apologized, then went to the line cook and apologized. He was right about what needed to be corrected in the kitchen, but he made a mistake and went about it the wrong way. It happens. I forgave him and it was over, done with, gone.

I'm sorry if I came acrosd as combative this is just something I'm passionate about.Personal accountability is a trait that's very important to me so its hard to have respect for someone who has a lack of it.