Losing A Parent

[rockchalk06]

Ya know I knew the day would come eventually, but not when I was only 32. Two weeks ago Dad finally passed away. He battled a brain tumor for almost 2 years slowly slipping away. While it stung at least it wasn't sudden.

I guess my question is how long does it take before it doesn't sting as much? One of the biggest things I miss about him is our talks. He was a cop for 29 years and has seen and been threw the worst so he always had a good opinion on things and could life your spirits.

[Fishing Rhino]

Please accept my condolences.

How long the pain lingers varies. Happy memories will most likely always make you melancholy. Be thankful for the time you had together.

Consider that pain to be a blessing. Imagine those whose hearts do not ache when they lose a parent. I cannot imagine much that is sadder than that. Not to miss someone or hurt at their passing shows there was something seriously missing in their relationship, if there was a relationship.

It is a time of conflicting emotions. Sorrow at their loss, and relief for the end of their suffering.

I was very fortunate. My dad was 90 when he passed. He went to bed one night, and never woke up. He had heart problems so it was not unexpected. While he was always upbeat and cheerful in conversations with others, he hated it that he had become so dependent on others to care for him.

[rockchalk06]

Please accept my condolences.

How long the pain lingers varies. Happy memories will most likely always make you melancholy. Be thankful for the time you had together.

Consider that pain to be a blessing. Imagine those whose hearts do not ache when they lose a parent. I cannot imagine much that is sadder than that. Not to miss someone or hurt at their passing shows there was something seriously missing in their relationship, if there was a relationship.

It is a time of conflicting emotions. Sorrow at their loss, and relief for the end of their suffering.

I was very fortunate. My dad was 90 when he passed. He went to bed one night, and never woke up. He had heart problems so it was not unexpected. While he was always upbeat and cheerful in conversations with others, he hated it that he had become so dependent on others to care for him.

That's the way dad was. He was 57. I remember comming back home for a weekend to see him and mom. He was slowing but was still playing men's league bball and working. He had just wrapped up one of his only two murder investigations.

3 days later he was bed ridden. He hated having others to care for him with him always being the provider.

When I got older, moved out and got into Law Enforcement he was more of my best friend than a father.

What's funny is I will be fishing, hunting or doing something with my son either giving him advice, getting onto him etc and I swear im my dad!

[shootermcbob]

condolences as well. Lost my father about a year and a half ago. Miss him every day. I don't know if that will ever go away. To answer your question, it still stings, and I still have a feeling of emptiness with him being gone. I am 48 years old, and my dad was just shy of 80 when he passed.

As Fishing Rhino stated earlier, as time progresses, I have less "sting" and tend to remember the really good times.

[.Paxamus.]

Rockchalk06

My heart goes out to you man. I lost my dad when he was 63 and I always looked at him like he was Superman growing up. We fished our last tournament together one month before he died. That was almost 3 years ago. I cant tell you the sting will ever go away, it only slowly gets better with time. I actually wanted to stop fishing for a while because he was my fishing partner, but eventually got back to enjoying it. I still to this day pick up my phone to call him and still have his number in my phone. Good luck and just know that it will only take time to get better.

The best advice I can give you or anyone who has lost someone close to them is, Live your life as they would want you to, enjoy everyday and make the most of it.

Melanoma was the culprit in my dads case, so everyone PLEASE where your sunscreen this stuff is real!

Paxamus

[llPa1nll]

Ya know I knew the day would come eventually, but not when I was only 32. Two weeks ago Dad finally passed away. He battled a brain tumor for almost 2 years slowly slipping away. While it stung at least it wasn't sudden.

I guess my question is how long does it take before it doesn't sting as much? One of the biggest things I miss about him is our talks. He was a cop for 29 years and has seen and been threw the worst so he always had a good opinion on things and could life your spirits.

Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine not having my Dad around. I hope the road gets easier for you ahead.

[Lund Explorer]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Not sure if the two of you worked for the same agency, but I'm sure he was proud that you decided to follow his lead in your chosen career. While it might seem that you have suffered the loss of both a father and mentor, it is also true that he has given you the chance to find a new motivation to live up to the standards he lived by.

As others have said, time lessens the pain of loss, and you will find that you will be able to celebrate all of the special things that made him your dad. The void you must be feeling today will never be filled, but it can be replaced as you try to give his grandchildren the kind of dad you had, and the kind of officer his public came to expect.

BTW, my dad passed away on November 12, 1988 when I was the exact same age that you are now. We also worked together in the same office for ten years before I loss my father, friend, and mentor. I can fully understand what you are going through.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and all of your family.

[rockchalk06]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Not sure if the two of you worked for the same agency, but I'm sure he was proud that you decided to follow his lead in your chosen career. While it might seem that you have suffered the loss of both a father and mentor, it is also true that he has given you the chance to find a new motivation to live up to the standards he lived by.

As others have said, time lessens the pain of loss, and you will find that you will be able to celebrate all of the special things that made him your dad. The void you must be feeling today will never be filled, but it can be replaced as you try to give his grandchildren the kind of dad you had, and the kind of officer his public came to expect.

BTW, my dad passed away on November 12, 1988 when I was the exact same age that you are now. We also worked together in the same office for ten years before I loss my father, friend, and mentor. I can fully understand what you are going through.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and all of your family.

Yep, before he was promoted to Chief, I got hired in the same agency. We worked together for several years before I moved to another agency.

Ya he was my mentor. Never missed a chance to say that he was proud I choose the life. Stupid to do the things we do for the money though lol,

Thanks for all the good compliments guys. I just wanted to ask to see if this was normal. Ive been around death for a long time, given notifications etc, but not much death close to me so this was a first.

[Siebert Outdoors]

I am truly sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family the best.

[Bluebasser86]

Both my parents are still healthy and very much a part of my life. I can't imagine being without them. My family has a history of living long lives. All my grandparents are still alive and active and my last great grandparent just died this year when my Mom's grandma died at 97. My great grandma always told everyone not to cry for her when she was gone because she was going to a better place and she'd see us all again some day and she didn't want to know that she was the reason we were sad. She would tell us to remember the good times we had had and smile and be happy for those times. I doubt the feeling of wishing you could see him again will ever go away, but I'm sure he'd rather see you smiling remembering all the good times instead of being sad that he's not around anymore.

[tipptruck1]

I know what you are going through. My dad was killed in a car accident. When I was 18. Less then 3 miles from home. I was coming home from school. I saw the accident scene. I didn't know it was him at the time. I got home and was talking to his buddy about getting his truck back. I saw a sheriff car pull in. His buddy was like what did you or your dad do. I am like nothing that I know of. I told him I would call him back. The sheriff told me my dad was dead. I knew were he died.

It sucked for me the most the first few days. After that I am like I have to get back on with my life. I was ready to but people would not let me. I grew up in a town of 1000 people. Every one knew him or me. When I went back to school it sucked even worst. I was walking up to school in the morning. I could hear people talking. As soon as they saw me they all shut up and watched me walk down the hall to my locker. I almost said he is dead. You being quite will not bring him back.

After he died. I really had more anger at my mom, and people pushing the bible on me. My mom because she prevented me from seeing him for the first 12 years of my life. Now at 26 I still have anger for her. But I have learned to just forget about her. She was a bad mother for the 12 years I lived with her. She coned men including my dad and my brothers dads. I will not cry a tear when she dies.

The bible people really made me mad. When you lose some one you love or care about. You will want god in or out of your life. I wasn't munch of a church person before. Now I will not go to church or give a butt about that stuff. Because of the way it was pushed down my throat.

In reality there is not a day were I do not think of my father. My dad was the greatest person I ever knew. He taught me every thing I know in this world. I learned for free what a lot of people pay to learn. I can fix almost any thing on my car in my house because of him. I can tell my car guy what is wrong if I can not fix it. If I need to make some thing out of steel I can make it.

There are days were I wish I could talk with him. None of my buddys are really in to cars. It would be nice to talk cars with some one. There are also days were I have to do some thing. Were I am not sure on how to do it. I wish I could call him.

If I can be half the person he was in his life. I think I would be happy.

[mrmacwvu1]

I was 29 two years ago when my dad, best friend, hunting and fishing buddy passed away. I don't cry everyday now but not a day goes by that it does not still hurt. I still get in moods and break down and cry. I miss my dad but most of all I miss my friend. Don't feel bad to cry I am doing it now as I type this. I am truly sorry for your loss. Good luck and may God be with you through these tough times. Just remember you are the man of the family now. Take care of them and be strong for them. But allow yourself time to grieve. I still get to see him everynight in my dreams. I used to wake up sad. Now I am just glad i still get to talk to him. At first I felt cheated and was mad at God that he was taken at such a young age. Now I am thankful that I had 29 wonderful years with him.